Looking for help

Dezzaooo

I am trying to get in shape and became a healthier person but the motivation is just not there. I have relapsed (bulimia) again after weeks of not doing so and its just gotten me to the point where I know this condition could kill me if it gets worse but I find myself not bothered by it. Thats a problem. I just need someone who knows what I am going through to tell me what I need to do to get myself on the right track.

pleasurelittletreasure

You went weeks without a relapse? That is something right there in the plus column. It takes time to learn bad habits and it takes time for us to wean ourselves away from them, too. Don't be too hard on yourself. Start again. Also, think of what it was that triggered this last bout. Try to find a different way to express yourself. If anxiety brought it on, perhaps exercise could be something you could turn to instead. I've been there. It can be hard to find motivation, but you said it yourself in your profile: I need to save myself. You need to be pro-active in taking care of your body. I think that joining MFP shows that you do have a seed of motivation. You just need to nurture it and care for yourself. It won't happen overnight. Log your food and use the notes section to record what was in your mind that day. It will happen. Baby steps.