MIL wants to join....help!

mommyjos

Ok, so my Mother in Law wants to join the site. She wants to start, and yes, she wants to lose weight, but I have a feeling she also wants to just be nosey. It's just how she tends to be.
I want a place where I can actually vent a little and talk openly without her knowing all of my thoughts. SO....is there a way to hide or block my blog from her?

ChubbieTubbie

Don't tell her your username.

2bFitNTrim

Oh, wow what a dilemna. Maybe don't tell her your screen name and all, and don't "friend" her. Remove your personal pic and use instead a pic that will not identify you when you post on the message boards. Course, this will involve some tact on your part to avoid hurt feelings. I would try to explain to her that you want some aspects of your weight loss/fitness journey to be private. just my 2 cents worth. Good luck !!:happy:

lilRicki

OMG i know how you feel...i'm hoping no one off my facebook will EVER come on here...won't she be mad if you don't add her as a friend? how about research other sites? set up a fake account and tell her all about that one? sneaky i know, but I don't need my MIL on here either lol

IKnowICan

I feel your Pain with MIL thing:explode: .....You could deny her as a friend but were not friends & I'm reading this post...so becareful girlfriend. You'll become the Outlaw instead of the Inlaw

Just make your name not your real name as she could do a search for you. Also, don't indicate your city.

Hope someone else has better ideas. Good Luck:drinker:

JennaM222

GGEESSSHHH!!

I know the feeling. I told my freind ( the friend who I always drink too much with and beinge eat with ) about this site as well, then thought, "CRAP, I think I blogged about her once" haha. Thank goodness she said she wants to do it on her own her own way.

RoadDog

Two choices really. You can change your profile name. Delete any personal information, changes all your pics to avatars


- or -

Don't say things about people that you wouldn't say to their face.

PanicAtTheBuffet

Tell her your screen name is PanicAtTheBuffet.

I'll be very NICE to her and treat her just like my MIL. :bigsmile:

AsaThorsWoman

Tell her your screen name is PanicAtTheBuffet.

I'll be very NICE to her and treat her just like my MIL. :bigsmile:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

RoadDog

Two choices really. You can change your profile name. Delete any personal information, changes all your pics to avatars


- or -

Don't say things about people that you wouldn't say to their face.

When I re-read this it sounded harsh and judgemental. That's not how I meant it. Sorry.

ickybella

Well, I'd have to delete all my blogs. Where else would I complain about that woman? :explode: The USDA has a website you could tell her about. Google it, I don't want to be a spammer. It has something to do with the food pyramid, so if you search in google for USDA and food pyramid, you might be able to find it. If not, I guess I could just send you the site in a message. There's no community on that site, but it's where I started when I decided it was time to get healthy. It will even tell you how many servings of fruits, veggies, meat, and dairy you've had every day. It's not as easy or as fun as MFP and it's all pretty generic stuff, but it gets her out of your hair. P.S. I love MFP and will never go back to that site.

jb_sweet_99

Tell her your screen name is PanicAtTheBuffet.

I'll be very NICE to her and treat her just like my MIL. :bigsmile:

BAHAHAHAHA!!! Great idea!!! SO funny! :bigsmile:

ickybella

Two choices really. You can change your profile name. Delete any personal information, changes all your pics to avatars


- or -

Don't say things about people that you wouldn't say to their face.

Guess you've never met my MIL. She can tell us all we're fat and lazy and we're not eating/breathing/sleeping correctly (I wish that were an exaggeration) but the second you tell her you've lost control of your wedding, even if you didn't tell her it's because she's gone behind your back and bought things you didn't want in colors that don't match your intended theme, she will blow a fuse and scream about how ungrateful you are, even if she's not paying for anything, except the crap she bought without asking you. No, I didn't want pink, frilly decorations. Rant over.

mommyhof3

How about keeping this one and removing personal pics and opening another one on here to befriend your MIL? She doesn't need to know about his one

RoadDog

Guess you've never met my MIL. She can tell us all we're fat and lazy and we're not eating/breathing/sleeping correctly (I wish that were an exaggeration) but the second you tell her you've lost control of your wedding, even if you didn't tell her it's because she's gone behind your back and bought things you didn't want in colors that don't match your intended theme, she will blow a fuse and scream about how ungrateful you are, even if she's not paying for anything, except the crap she bought without asking you. No, I didn't want pink, frilly decorations. Rant over.

I feel your pain, now take a breath.

ickybella

Guess you've never met my MIL. She can tell us all we're fat and lazy and we're not eating/breathing/sleeping correctly (I wish that were an exaggeration) but the second you tell her you've lost control of your wedding, even if you didn't tell her it's because she's gone behind your back and bought things you didn't want in colors that don't match your intended theme, she will blow a fuse and scream about how ungrateful you are, even if she's not paying for anything, except the crap she bought without asking you. No, I didn't want pink, frilly decorations. Rant over.

I feel your pain, now take a breath.

Yeah yeah, I'm high strung. I'm breathing just fine, thankyouverymuch. Seriously, though, I'm all right, and not just because she's on a different continent until Christmas.

ginnyroxx

Guess you've never met my MIL. She can tell us all we're fat and lazy and we're not eating/breathing/sleeping correctly (I wish that were an exaggeration) but the second you tell her you've lost control of your wedding, even if you didn't tell her it's because she's gone behind your back and bought things you didn't want in colors that don't match your intended theme, she will blow a fuse and scream about how ungrateful you are, even if she's not paying for anything, except the crap she bought without asking you. No, I didn't want pink, frilly decorations. Rant over.

I feel your pain, now take a breath.

LMAO!

turbojanem

Two choices really. You can change your profile name. Delete any personal information, changes all your pics to avatars


- or -

Don't say things about people that you wouldn't say to their face.

ditto.

Cina04

How about keeping this one and removing personal pics and opening another one on here to befriend your MIL? She doesn't need to know about his one

was going to suggest the same thing.

Than again you shouldn't hide yourself cause what if there is progress pics you want to share!

I think to just be true to yourself and if she ends up reading a blog...oh well! It's your thoughts and feelings and since you are married to her son, there isn't much she can do! LOL

I have my mother, my aunt, my uncle, my cousins, and In laws on my FB page but I still post whatever cause it's my page not theirs! LOL

DixieDarlin1987

Two choices really. You can change your profile name. Delete any personal information, changes all your pics to avatars


- or -

Don't say things about people that you wouldn't say to their face.

Guess you've never met my MIL. She can tell us all we're fat and lazy and we're not eating/breathing/sleeping correctly (I wish that were an exaggeration) but the second you tell her you've lost control of your wedding, even if you didn't tell her it's because she's gone behind your back and bought things you didn't want in colors that don't match your intended theme, she will blow a fuse and scream about how ungrateful you are, even if she's not paying for anything, except the crap she bought without asking you. No, I didn't want pink, frilly decorations. Rant over.

OMG I know exactly how you feel! I'd scream if my MIL tried to join lol. She already lives with me and my husband, for FREE, never cleans up after herself or her stupid, stinky dog, eats all the food we buy, criticizes my cooking, AND tries to tell me how to take care of MY son! I'm sorry I don't have any real advice for you...I'd probably "un-personalize" this account and make a new one just to be friends with her like someone else mentioned. But believe me when I say, I feel you pain.

nursevee

Heh. Oh goody. I'm so greatful that my MIL isn't computer literate (or interested in it).... I'd probably be driven crazy!

There's really no way to TOTALLY prevent it unless you wanna go deep undercover (remove your location/picture etc). I would invite her to join but to develop her own list of friends.

aunienue

Remember she can search your email address with "Find Members" and find you....

Scorpiomom222

Don't tell her your user name and put pics up that she couldn't guess was you. That means no face pics. :grumble:

Lona728

I agree with everyone saying to create a new account that you can give to her. Then keep your personal one, and not tell her about it. I personally just wouldn't friend her though. I have my mother- in-law and sister -in- law blocked on my facebook page though. I am very honest with how I feel about people though. Anything I have ever said about them (and it's A LOT!) I have and/ or would say to their face.

But to keep the peace in your family, don't do what I do

lilRicki

I agree with everyone saying to create a new account that you can give to her. Then keep your personal one, and not tell her about it. I personally just wouldn't friend her though. I have my mother- in-law and sister -in- law blocked on my facebook page though. I am very honest with how I feel about people though. Anything I have ever said about them (and it's A LOT!) I have and/ or would say to their face.

But to keep the peace in your family, don't do what I do

no doubt lol don't forget that your husband is right in the middle of this...it's hard on him when the woman that he loves with all his heart, doesn't get along with his family...I can't stand my fiance's side of the family...but i have to deal with them invading my house and all their unsolicited advice because i love my man. Doesn't mean i don't let my fiance know how i feel from time to time, but when the fams is around, i'm all smiles and fakeness...

HealthyChanges2010

OK, so my Mother in Law wants to join the site. She wants to start, and yes, she wants to lose weight, but I have a feeling she also wants to just be nosey. It's just how she tends to be.
I want a place where I can actually vent a little and talk openly without her knowing all of my thoughts. SO....is there a way to hide or block my blog from her?

Also keep in mind this post is most likely already on Google... everything MFP (same as anything else Internet) ends up there...so don't know if your user name is your real name but just in case you didn't realize that keep that in mind...:smokin:

Another thought, some have suggested creating another account, I briefly tried that once to avoid a could weirdos on here...WAY TOO MUCH trouble decided to not worry about it anymore (no one is worth that much extra time:laugh: )..really you'd have to be updating that one *and* your 'real' one....so not worth it.:noway:

hm, don't know what to tell ya..I stay anonymous on the Internet or at least as much as possible for personal reasons (scary past relationship) no name, no photos, no personal info etc., and I don't even have a MIL anymore.:laugh: Probably also partly because I'm not a facebook kinda girl...so putting it all out there is pretty foreign to me and feels for safer for me to not.

But we're all different, I realize that:flowerforyou:

Good luck:flowerforyou:

Lona728

I agree with everyone saying to create a new account that you can give to her. Then keep your personal one, and not tell her about it. I personally just wouldn't friend her though. I have my mother- in-law and sister -in- law blocked on my facebook page though. I am very honest with how I feel about people though. Anything I have ever said about them (and it's A LOT!) I have and/ or would say to their face.

But to keep the peace in your family, don't do what I do

no doubt lol don't forget that your husband is right in the middle of this...it's hard on him when the woman that he loves with all his heart, doesn't get along with his family...I can't stand my fiance's side of the family...but i have to deal with them invading my house and all their unsolicited advice because i love my man. Doesn't mean i don't let my fiance know how i feel from time to time, but when the fams is around, i'm all smiles and fakeness...

Oh, I did the fake thing. But after 13 years, I am done with fake. I'm not going to go into all the stuff she has said and done to me. Just suffice it to say even my husband agree's with me now. But like I said, I don't think she should go my route if she wants peace in her family.

mommyjos

ok, wow, some great responses!!! Thanks!
Panic at the buffet, first of all, clever name! and LOL!!!
RoadDog, I was a little taken back, but you're right! But in all fairness, it's not about talking behind her back, it's more about my personal journey and not wanting to share every detail with every person.

My mom is on here as well as 3 of my sisters. I have several friends that I know in person on here as well. It's just a delicate balance as there are times when I feel like I want to keep some of my info, struggles, etc private from people I have to spend Thanksgiving dinner with. If there's things I don't want my family to know (which is extremely rare) I wouldn't share it on Facebook or here. I would write it in a journal at my house or whatever else.

My MIL and I had a rough start. Through my husbands open heart surgeries and many-a- visit here there were things said and feelings hurt, etc. I confronted and forgave her, but things still happen and it's hurtful. In addition when things are said in a "congratulations" way, I don't feel I can take it at face value because of the past. There is often some underlying cut towards me. I won't go into it all, as I don't want to be hurtful or drag her through the mud. I'm trying to deal with it correctly and have been making strides towards it! I let it go and try to remember that it's who she is and she may not realize what she's doing or saying.

I just feel that I don't want to encourage her to do this site, because I do want a part of my life to be personal. I can share what I want to share, but if I'm struggling with something and don't feel comfortable with her knowing, I don't want to have to hide and feel trapped. Or if I just plain don't feel like it's her business to know every detail that should be ok.

I don't want to be fake, and really don't have time to do another site! LOL! I just want to find a way to delicately explain where I stand and move on from there

With that said, I know we're not supposed to post links, but if you have another site that may be similar I would appreciate if you message me so I can check them out and suggest one to her. I don't want to keep her from achieving her goals because I'm selfish.

Thanks! and good luck to some of you who also have tricky MIL situations!