Ask the Wolf...Let me solve your problems

2

Replies

  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    If a train leaves the station going 60 miles per hour, how many sled dogs does it take to build a sand castle?

    Dogs cant build castles, but beware of the squirrel uprising. YOu see them all the time driving around...its all recon. ITs coming. SquirrelNado 2015.

    I thought it was the penguins to be weary of. They spend so much time huddled together in some of the harshest climates. Seems to me they would be a greater foe than any squirrel. I am beginning to wonder about the credibility of your advice. What are your qualifications?

    Penguins are like bowling pins, easy to defeat.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    If a train leaves the station going 60 miles per hour, how many sled dogs does it take to build a sand castle?

    Dogs cant build castles, but beware of the squirrel uprising. YOu see them all the time driving around...its all recon. ITs coming. SquirrelNado 2015.

    I thought it was the penguins to be weary of. They spend so much time huddled together in some of the harshest climates. Seems to me they would be a greater foe than any squirrel. I am beginning to wonder about the credibility of your advice. What are your qualifications?

    Penguins are like bowling pins, easy to defeat.

    I think they are more crafty than you believe.

    You avoided my other question with your witty reply. Perhaps you are also crafty. :huh:
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    If a train leaves the station going 60 miles per hour, how many sled dogs does it take to build a sand castle?

    Dogs cant build castles, but beware of the squirrel uprising. YOu see them all the time driving around...its all recon. ITs coming. SquirrelNado 2015.

    I thought it was the penguins to be weary of. They spend so much time huddled together in some of the harshest climates. Seems to me they would be a greater foe than any squirrel. I am beginning to wonder about the credibility of your advice. What are your qualifications?

    my qualifications is I have watched every episode of Friday Night Lights and I know how to drive a car.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    If a train leaves the station going 60 miles per hour, how many sled dogs does it take to build a sand castle?

    Dogs cant build castles, but beware of the squirrel uprising. YOu see them all the time driving around...its all recon. ITs coming. SquirrelNado 2015.

    I believe those are HAMSTERS driving the Kia Souls.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    If a train leaves the station going 60 miles per hour, how many sled dogs does it take to build a sand castle?

    Dogs cant build castles, but beware of the squirrel uprising. YOu see them all the time driving around...its all recon. ITs coming. SquirrelNado 2015.

    I believe those are HAMSTERS driving the Kia Souls.

    exactly and I have it on good authority, that hamsters have forged an alliance with the Squirrel high command. They will divide and conquer us. Hamster already are allowed inside homes, so they are doing internal recon, while squirrels are doing perimeter recon.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    hey Wolf...

    Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    hey Wolf...

    Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

    my nose doesnt run, it stays perfectly on my face. My feet smell because they're feet. Theyre supposed to smell.
  • fit_war
    fit_war Posts: 985 Member
    o... I'm feeling quite violated because I think my neighbor saw my boobs this morning.

    I was up this morning before work making coffee and I wasn't wearing anything but my panties.

    The blinds in our apartment complex are vertical.

    He seemed to be walking his dog just right infront of my kitchen window, and I was bent over the sink filling the coffee carafe.

    They weren't open, but they were like, if someone was trying to look in at the right angle maybe you could see.

    Well, I guess the side walk is right there, so for a split second we made eye contact and were a few feet away from each other.

    I dashed off, and my boobs were bouncing around in the kitchen.

    The terrible thing about all this is this guy works at the University in the same building as me. Have I done something terrible?

    I hope he doesn't complain to our land lord or employer. He's a married dude, he probably doesn't care, but you never know, some people in Oklahoma are pretty stuck up.

    Than I wore a white tank top to work in the pouring rain. I don't know why but my boobs are stealing the show today.

    My boyfriend will be all over them tonight, too.

    What should I do?

    kik me.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    o... I'm feeling quite violated because I think my neighbor saw my boobs this morning.

    I was up this morning before work making coffee and I wasn't wearing anything but my panties.

    The blinds in our apartment complex are vertical.

    He seemed to be walking his dog just right infront of my kitchen window, and I was bent over the sink filling the coffee carafe.

    They weren't open, but they were like, if someone was trying to look in at the right angle maybe you could see.

    Well, I guess the side walk is right there, so for a split second we made eye contact and were a few feet away from each other.

    I dashed off, and my boobs were bouncing around in the kitchen.

    The terrible thing about all this is this guy works at the University in the same building as me. Have I done something terrible?

    I hope he doesn't complain to our land lord or employer. He's a married dude, he probably doesn't care, but you never know, some people in Oklahoma are pretty stuck up.

    Than I wore a white tank top to work in the pouring rain. I don't know why but my boobs are stealing the show today.

    My boyfriend will be all over them tonight, too.

    What should I do?

    kik me.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    u think I was joking? HOWLLLSSS lol jk
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    Where does a fire go when it goes out?
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Where does a fire go when it goes out?

    im sorry to hear about your marriage, but I would say your wife's fire is still burning based on my experience.
    *Rimshot
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    Where does a fire go when it goes out?

    im sorry to hear about your marriage, but I would say your wife's fire is still burning based on my experience.
    *Rimshot

    I asked the magic 8 ball and it told me "Down the fire escape."

    45916.jpg


    I want my money back.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Where does a fire go when it goes out?

    im sorry to hear about your marriage, but I would say your wife's fire is still burning based on my experience.
    *Rimshot

    I asked the magic 8 ball and it told me "Down the fire escape."

    45916.jpg


    I want my money back.

    dont worry. ill get her furnace back on for ya.
  • CamilleJackie350
    CamilleJackie350 Posts: 124
    I'm still in disbelief. 5 days ago I found out my husband is having an affair with a woman from our gym. He refuses to end the affair saying he doesn't know what he wants. He's asking me to give him some space and time to decide what he's wanting. I've pulled cell records showing 1500+ texts between the 2 since late February. Very little phone calls. He admits having sex with her "once" in March.

    I'm literally destroyed. I don't know what went wrong we've always been happy together.

    I'm here for some advise. What all do I need to be doing. I can't eat. Can't sleep. I'm literally going crazy.
  • Beautifulreflections
    Beautifulreflections Posts: 86 Member
    Mines a three part question

    1. Why is my husband perpetually stuck at the age of 14?

    2. Can you suffocate someone while they are sleeping and make it look like a natural death?

    3. What is the typical sentence for suffocating someone in their sleep?
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    I'm still in disbelief. 5 days ago I found out my husband is having an affair with a woman from our gym. He refuses to end the affair saying he doesn't know what he wants. He's asking me to give him some space and time to decide what he's wanting. I've pulled cell records showing 1500+ texts between the 2 since late February. Very little phone calls. He admits having sex with her "once" in March.

    I'm literally destroyed. I don't know what went wrong we've always been happy together.

    I'm here for some advise. What all do I need to be doing. I can't eat. Can't sleep. I'm literally going crazy.

    1. kik me you're hot.
    2. look at the bright side. you now know he isnt the right guy for you.
    3. take his money if he has anything.
    4. also, text his gf that he has herpes.
    5. FELLAS...this chick is single now. Get ready for all the FR's
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Mines a three part question

    1. Why is my husband perpetually stuck at the age of 14?

    2. Can you suffocate someone while they are sleeping and make it look like a natural death?

    3. What is the typical sentence for suffocating someone in their sleep?

    1. its in our DNA
    2. can I? no, no thank you not interested
    3. uh, I hope you like eletricity or needles.
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? That's how it is in most cases.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? That's how it is in most cases.

    so just to be clear, you're saying it would be more fun for you to have a big one in your mouth?

    Heads up to the dude who asked the earlier question...size apparently does matter.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". --Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?-- That's how it is in most cases.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • cronly
    cronly Posts: 307 Member
    how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? That's how it is in most cases.

    so just to be clear, you're saying it would be more fun for you to have a big one in your mouth?

    Heads up to the dude who asked the earlier question...size apparently does matter.

    It matter's. It definitely matters. It's like comparing a foot long to a Vienna. Seriously...disgusting little sausage.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    i reject the portion of the question where a wood chuck cant chuck. They are conspiring with the squirrels and hamsters.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? That's how it is in most cases.

    so just to be clear, you're saying it would be more fun for you to have a big one in your mouth?

    Heads up to the dude who asked the earlier question...size apparently does matter.

    It matter's. It definitely matters. It's like comparing a foot long to a Vienna. Seriously...disgusting little sausage.

    kik me at albinopython
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? That's how it is in most cases.

    so just to be clear, you're saying it would be more fun for you to have a big one in your mouth?

    Heads up to the dude who asked the earlier question...size apparently does matter.

    It matter's. It definitely matters. It's like comparing a foot long to a Vienna. Seriously...disgusting little sausage.

    kik me at albinopython

    Dear God please don't let it be a Vienna!!!
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    off to gym...will answer later.
  • hj1119
    hj1119 Posts: 173 Member
    Why is it that the only way to get someone in front of you to speed up is to try and pass them?
  • Alanakrahenbil
    Alanakrahenbil Posts: 811 Member
    Wolf, what's the meaning of life?
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    Why is it that the only way to get someone in front of you to speed up is to try and pass them?

    I'm not a wolf or anything, but it's a serious epidemic of self-entitled, "me first" attitude, inconsiderate f***tards.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Why is it that the only way to get someone in front of you to speed up is to try and pass them?

    I'm not a wolf or anything, but it's a serious epidemic of self-entitled, "me first" attitude, inconsiderate f***tards.

    The best way to get someone in front of you is to not use deodorant.

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