Anxiety and Weight Loss

jacks4se

I have been having a particularly intense bout of anxiety the past 8 or so months (have been diagnosed with having GAD and depression since as long as I can remember). I never lost my appetite before, but this time around I just can't eat. One really weird side effect I've had is that because I care so little about the taste/feeling of food, I have been able to learn to enjoy foods that I used to hate. I no longer separate "healthy" and "unhealthy" because at this point I'm lucky to eat food at all. I've also been getting active (bike-riding, walking, etc.) as it seems to help calm my mind a little.

A result of all this intentional and unintentional changes in diet and lifestyle is that I've lost over 20 pounds, a feat that seemed impossible. And I did it without "trying". But I was sick of the way I felt, the craziness going on in my head, and quite frankly, I really felt like I was "losing it" and just getting weird. So now I'm taking Celexa and Klonopin, and have been feeling a little better. My appetite is beginning to return, though. And in walks in an entirely NEW anxiety.

I'm finally learning to eat healthy because I genuinely enjoy the foods I am eating, and I genuinely enjoy getting my body moving now. But now I am afraid to eat those foods, and afraid to "skip" activities (I refuse to use the term workout). I find myself avoiding the idea of food and eating all together. Right now I am trying to ease into eating dinner everyday, after finding sneaky ways to not eat it. I'm not ready for lunch, yet. The idea of eating lunch AND dinner in one day is extremely triggering to me right now...it makes me start feeling the anxieties I was feeling before the medication. But the rational part of me KNOWS this is not right. I'm just afraid that, even eating healthy, I will start gaining weight again because I've spent so many months eating just enough to get through the day.

Can anyone else relate? I'm not necessarily looking for advice, just sharing my experience with what seems like an never-ending battle of anxiety and depression. Even good days are always tainted with issues like this, just wondering how other people have gotten through it.

EDIT: I did mention this to my doctor, which prompted her to speculate that I may have the beginnings of an ulcer caused by stress. Which would explain some of the physical reasons behind not wanting to eat, but definitely doesn't explain mentally why it's so troublesome.

WillLift4Tats

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My first thought is to make sure you keep that open line with your doctor. You may even start looking for a therapist that can help you with these anxious thoughts. They are worrisome, and I wouldn't want this to turn ugly for you.

Secondly, don't try increasing all your meals at once, if that's the biggest trigger for you. Start with an extra snack every day for a week - like a hard boiled egg and cheese, or apples and peanut butter. Once, that starts feeling normal, add in another side to your dinners every day for that week. etc. etc.

Best of luck