But we liked you the way you were!!

amirite333

When I make my mind up to do something I can be a bit OCD about it.

So when I decided it was time to lose weight and get back to being fit, well I did it with a passion If you check my food diary you can see that for more than a few months my daily calories averaged about 1000 Kcals. as a result I lost weight quickly ( especially as I was always ensuring that my diet was low carb)

So I kicked off at 110 kilo back in may or there abouts and now at 93 kilo I was pleased enough with my progress that I sent a few pics to my friends.

But their reaction wasn't that which I honestly expected.

Everyone of them said that they thought I looked gaunt, ill, starving or some other such shockingly hurtful things.

Am still ninety-****ing-three-kilo FFS and according to my plan I have another 9 kilo to go before I reach what is supposed to be my ideal weight!

I am heartbroken hearing that my closest friends think I look like ****!

I know that my skin is a bit flabby but that will go and firm up as long as I continue to lose weight yap? yes it will?

I am, while not so claiming to be an Alpha male ( I could be but most ofe=ten I don't give a *kitten*) I am generally uninterested about what people say or think about me. But this has really affected me. I sent 3 pics to my closest friends and got such a negative response.. ouch.

I maybe should elaborate insomuch that I am working in a different country to my friends and they haven;t seen me in the flesh since before I sent the pics of the new working hard to lose weight me.

Is this just me? has anyone else had peer pressure to stay just as overweight as you were? Why do folk do this?

Ninkyou

I'd normally be one to say, "Who cares what other people think?"

BUT, then you wrote this:

my daily calories averaged about 1000 Kcals. as a result I lost weight quickly

So there may be something to what your friends are saying. If you are truly only taking in 1,000 calories a day, then no, you're not losing weight the right way, and yes, it will show on you. The guant/ill look comes from being malnourished. If you're not providing your body with adequate nutrition, then this is one of the many things that will happen.

IMO, you should, in this case, listen to your friends (who probably have your best interest at heart even when they dis you like this), and try losing weight with a smaller deficit and therefor providing your body with better nutrition. Also, you should see a doctor. I believe weight loss should be done under doctor supervision to make sure you're doing it in a healthy and sustainable manner.

SharonNehring

When you lose weight quickly there is going to be some skin sagging and flabbiness. I am more self conscious now than when I was at my highest weight for this reason. Whether or not your skin will tighten up completely is related to many factors, including age, amount of loss, genetics, exercise, weight lifting etc. Focus on weight lifting and toning exercises and see if that helps.

I have to agree with the other poster though. 1000 cals a day is not enough for anyone, especially not for a man who is probably working out. You jump started your journey by losing quickly but now it's time to relax a bit, eat more calories, focus on getting fit and a more gradual loss. You will look great and be healthy.

amirite333

Yes my food diary absolutely reflects what I am putting into my mouth. I told you I can be OCD about this and often I will input my next days intake into myfitness.com's program, and if its not on my list then it doesnt get eaten!

Iwishyouwell

Whether you decrease your deficit, or not, is almost irrelevant to what your friends are saying. I'm not going to touch your VLCD diet.

But the reaction isn't uncommon at all. Lots of people who lose weight, regardless of the rate, face this from loved ones. There are people, some right on this board, still in the clinically obese range who are hearing from family, friends, and co-workers that they are "too skinny". People, in general, are thrown off by change. You've had a big change in a short amount of time, which makes it even more jarring. Add to that the fact that you're approaching your late 50s, and some older people often do look more drawn when they lose weight, and this all is quite common.

They'll adjust. If they don't, oh well.

126siany

Glancing through a few days on your diary, you are not eating enough and there is a frightening lack of protein. Given that you don't eat anywhere near enough calories and are not getting enough protein even for the too-low calories you're eating, you probably lost a lot more muscle mass than you had to. Some muscle loss is inevitable, but when you don't eat enough protein, your body gets it from your muscles. That can definitely result in a gaunt appearance.

DR2501

1000kcals for a grown man is frankly ridiculous and even dangerous.

Eat more, move more, lift weights, lose steadily and then you won't look so ill.

amirite333

I am using free weights, ( okay only 3 k barbells)which I use for 30 minutes each arm, I also started cycling but *uck I popped an umbilical hernia 4 days ago so that is stopped.

Theres a lot of good advice here in this thread I I really thank you for that.

I stil don't know how to digest this, I proudly sent off some pics to my closest and dearest. And got such negative responses. I know these people wouldn't say anything to hurt me unless it was true. I still have another 8 kilo to go to hit my designated ideal (normal) weight, how is it I already look gaunt?

h7463

Congrats on your success!
About your friends: You didn't do anything wrong. But you stepped out of your and their comfort zone. And it worked for you. Now they don't have an excuse to make changes themselves. In my experience, pretty much anybody I know, who has made a lifestyle change like this, got a lot of heat from friends and family. Also, the ease and anonymity of modern social media has robbed many of common curtesy....IMHO...some have forgotten when to back off....
Don't worry too much....You can always silently take pleasure, listening to all the bickering and nagging your friends have to take now from their significant others...'If he can drop so much weight, you can too........'
Enjoy your transformation!

About your nutrition: You are very close to your goal weight. My suggestion at this point would be, to recalculate your calorie requirements, adjusting for your current body weight, and to start experimenting with your daily calorie allowance. Try to find out at which number you can actually stop the scale and maintain your weight. Even though it might slow down your weight loss a bit for a while, it's worth getting a grip on this as soon as possible, so you can make the transition with ease later, without packing several pound back on.

Good luck!

PrissyPisces

Don't be afraid to eat. Your body needs a certain amount of calories, and not eating them can send you into starvation mode. I'm sure you know this, and I won't type a whole paragraph to scold you about your calorie intake. I'll leave that to the others. :grumble:

Also, losing too quickly, isn't good for the elasticity of your skin. Your body has a hard time shrinking back, when you lose weight too rapidly. I congratulate you on your success and dedication, but remember, it's about more than weight loss. It's about your health as well. (still not a paragraph.....well....sort of is, it 2 small ones) :laugh:

With that being said, your friends are not being real friends! Friends are suppose to support you and be happy for you. If you're heading in a healthier direction, why are they being so negative? You really need to sit down with them, and let them know how it makes you feel to hear such negativity, after you've worked so hard. I won't accuse them all of jealousy, (though some of them may be) but I do believe that people identify others by their weight, and your weight loss is causing them to have to see you as something other than what they are use to. Some people just don't like change.

jkal1979

I am using free weights, ( okay only 3 k barbells)which I use for 30 minutes each arm, I also started cycling but *uck I popped an umbilical hernia 4 days ago so that is stopped.

Theres a lot of good advice here in this thread I I really thank you for that.

I stil don't know how to digest this, I proudly sent off some pics to my closest and dearest. And got such negative responses. I know these people wouldn't say anything to hurt me unless it was true. I still have another 8 kilo to go to hit my designated ideal (normal) weight, how is it I already look gaunt?

Your question has already been answered several times, you probably look gaunt because your body isn't being fueled properly. Eating so little (especially for a man) will effect how your skin looks and cause you to look sick. It might be a good idea to sit down and reevaluate your calorie intake goals and figure out how much you should be eating.

This link from the Getting Started forum will help:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

malibu927

With that being said, your friends are not being real friends! Friends are suppose to support you and be happy for you. If you're heading in a healthier direction, why are they being so negative? You really need to sit down with them, and let them know how it makes you feel to hear such negativity, after you've worked so hard. I won't accuse them all of jealousy, (though some of them may be) but I do believe that people identify others by their weight, and your weight loss is causing them to have to see you as something other than what they are use to. Some people just don't like change.

From reading his posts, it sounds like they're really concerned about him. He's losing fat and muscle and making himself look sickly.

OP, you should be eating a lot more, as everyone else has said. At most you should be losing half a pound a week for your size. You didn't put the weight on quickly, so why get rid of it so fast?

PrissyPisces

With that being said, your friends are not being real friends! Friends are suppose to support you and be happy for you. If you're heading in a healthier direction, why are they being so negative? You really need to sit down with them, and let them know how it makes you feel to hear such negativity, after you've worked so hard. I won't accuse them all of jealousy, (though some of them may be) but I do believe that people identify others by their weight, and your weight loss is causing them to have to see you as something other than what they are use to. Some people just don't like change.

From reading his posts, it sounds like they're really concerned about him. He's losing fat and muscle and making himself look sickly.



OP, you should be eating a lot more, as everyone else has said. At most you should be losing half a pound a week for your size. You didn't put the weight on quickly, so why get rid of it so fast?

Hun, HE STATED that he has another 9 kilo to go before he reaches his ideal weight. I'm sure he knows this isn't the healthiest route, but how do we know that he looks sick? He may look healthy. I've heard many people (celebrities) say how people said they also looked sick and too skinny after dropping a significant amount of weight, when they indeed looked healthy. I am ALSO a person who was asked if I was sick after losing weight, when I was still clearly overweight. That seems to be the first thing people say about those who drop a lot of weight. People are NEVER satisfied with they way OTHERS choose to live THEIR lives. I don't know how topic writer looks, but I just want to refrain from being so negative. He already said it made him feel bad to hear it from his friends.

amirite333

Okay i try put up some before and not after , but current pics. I make them as brutally honest as I can.

might not be immediate but within the next day or two

sensitivefool

Eat more food. Gain more muscle. Gaunt will go away.

The first time in my life, 3 years ago, I was living healthily. I still had 30 lbs to lose to hit ideal. Everyone told me to stop losing weight. They couldn't help it. It was too different. So I got fat again and gained 70 back. Do what YOU the think is healthy.

PrissyPisces

Eat more food. Gain more muscle. Gaunt will go away.

The first time in my life, 3 years ago, I was living healthily. I still had 30 lbs to lose to hit ideal. Everyone told me to stop losing weight. They couldn't help it. It was too different. So I got fat again and gained 70 back. Do what YOU the think is healthy.

See, this pissed me off. People will make these comments about you being too large when you are overweight, but when you finally get the weight off, they start hating. NEVER gain weight back to please others. Screw them! I'm trying to get why people worry so much about what others do. They'll call you fat until you damn near feel suicidal, but then call you names and swear you have an eating disorder when you aren't the fat friend anymore. Not saying this is you and the topic writer's case, but I hear so many others talk about how they are treated once they finally do get smaller. Weight loss has a way of showing you who your REAL friends are.

icrushit

OP, you seem to be starving yourself. Eating nothing and drinking is going to destroy you. You would not seem to be in a healthy place at all with regard to nutrition, and in this context I can only assume the concerns of your friends and family is good-natured and generally from a place of concern and not of envy.

Depending on your height, weight and age, it is quite possible to *safely* lose anywhere between one and two pounds a week regularly, or even more if you are coming from a heavily overweight or obese starting point. At present if your food diary is accurate, you are only doing more harm than good, and with such low intake, are only encouraging your body to eat itself, as opposed to just lose body fat. Moreover, without any sustainable and good eating and exercising habits, you are just helping set yourself up for a destructive pattern of weight loss and weight gain.

Transfer a decent portion some of that aggressive approach to your eating towards your exercising, and change your goal to be both slimmer *and healthy*, which will put you in a much better place. As a guide, perhaps aim to eat approx. 500 less calories every day, and do about 250- 500 calories worth of exercise every day. If you do both of these things, you should see yourself dropping 1.5- 2lbs every week.

shadow2soul

for more than a few months my daily calories averaged about 1000 Kcals. as a result I lost weight quickly ( especially as I was always ensuring that my diet was low carb)

Could be jealousy. Could be genuine concern. Could be that they aren't used to seeing you thin. Could be any number of things really.
While I can't answer why your friends are saying what they are, I can leave you with this:

Problems with extremely low calorie intake (most of this stuff doesn't happen right away, but later down the road...its kind of like how some smokers end up with emphysema or lung cancer and some don't):

- Malnutrition

"Inadequate caloric intake can lead to malnutrition over time. According to MedlinePlus, malnutrition occurs when the diet does not allow the intake of a sufficient amount of nutrients. A diet with extremely low calories does not allow for adequate consumption of the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants the body needs to perform its daily life processes. Vitamin deficiencies can lead to various problems, including fatigue, impaired wound healing and extreme weight loss." *1*

- Slower Metabolism (takes a while, but does happen)

"Metabolism is the rate at which the body burns fuel for energy. The basal metabolic rate is the minimum number of calories necessary to perform daily basic functions such as breathing, growth, cellular repair and digestion, according to MayoClinic.com. When calories are restricted over a long period of time, the body will compensate by holding on to the few calories that are consumed. Instead of burning calories freely, the body will perform basic life processes more slowly to conserve fuel. This can actually lead to weight gain." *1*

- Physical Changes

"A decrease in caloric intake may cause positive physical changes at first, especially in individuals with extra weight to lose. However, an extreme decrease in caloric intake can cause negative physical changes over time. Once individuals lose excess weight, calorie restriction can cause various physical problems. The Calorie Restriction Society indicates that decreasing daily calories too much can lead to reduced bone mass, fatigue, sensitivity to cold temperatures and food obsession due to extreme hunger. The CRS recommends gradual calorie reduction over a period of at least six months to avoid some of the side effects of low caloric intake." *1*

-Side Effects:

"Let’s look at some of the uncomfortable side effects of very low calorie diets:

Dry mouth
Headache
Dizziness
Fatigue and weakness
Cold intolerance
Dry skin and nails
Menstrual irregularities in women
Hair loss
Constipation/diarrhoea
Irritability and confusion
Inability to concentrate
Muscle breakdown
Problems with nerve and muscle function due to an imbalance in minerals and electrolytes
Conditions such as osteoporosis, anaemia, gout, gallstones, clinical depression, heart problems, renal failure, and liver disease" *2*



References:
*1*
http://www.livestrong.com/article/277053-what-are-the-dangers-of-low-caloric-intake/
*2*
http://www.dietriffic.com/2009/05/14/very-low-calorie-diet/

Take from it what you will.

PennyVonDread

I'd normally be one to say, "Who cares what other people think?"

BUT, then you wrote this:

my daily calories averaged about 1000 Kcals. as a result I lost weight quickly

So there may be something to what your friends are saying. If you are truly only taking in 1,000 calories a day, then no, you're not losing weight the right way, and yes, it will show on you. The guant/ill look comes from being malnourished. If you're not providing your body with adequate nutrition, then this is one of the many things that will happen.

IMO, you should, in this case, listen to your friends (who probably have your best interest at heart even when they dis you like this), and try losing weight with a smaller deficit and therefor providing your body with better nutrition. Also, you should see a doctor. I believe weight loss should be done under doctor supervision to make sure you're doing it in a healthy and sustainable manner.

Most calorie counts on packaged foods are off by about 15-20%. Chances are, 1000 calories isn't the accurate intake realistically unless it's a diet with no foods that come in a box or bag. 1000*1.15= 1150, and even webMD.com recommends 1050-1200 calorie "target" intake for these reasons, because the actual intake varies. If OP isn't starving, she's probably fine.

sensitivefool

PrissyPisces, I thankfully didn't hear anything negative in my case; just concern. I think it shocks people just how quickly weight can come off. It's strange how it's assumed something may be wrong with you when it does. At the time my mom was losing as well. She was only eating 700 cal. a day, so now I see why they were concerned. Thankfully, I could never eat so little. I don't even know how the OP is managing with 1k.

Ninkyou

I'd normally be one to say, "Who cares what other people think?"

BUT, then you wrote this:

my daily calories averaged about 1000 Kcals. as a result I lost weight quickly

So there may be something to what your friends are saying. If you are truly only taking in 1,000 calories a day, then no, you're not losing weight the right way, and yes, it will show on you. The guant/ill look comes from being malnourished. If you're not providing your body with adequate nutrition, then this is one of the many things that will happen.

IMO, you should, in this case, listen to your friends (who probably have your best interest at heart even when they dis you like this), and try losing weight with a smaller deficit and therefor providing your body with better nutrition. Also, you should see a doctor. I believe weight loss should be done under doctor supervision to make sure you're doing it in a healthy and sustainable manner.

Most calorie counts on packaged foods are off by about 15-20%. Chances are, 1000 calories isn't the accurate intake realistically unless it's a diet with no foods that come in a box or bag. 1000*1.15= 1150, and even webMD.com recommends 1050-1200 calorie "target" intake for these reasons, because the actual intake varies. If OP isn't starving, she's probably fine.

Except HE is a grown male, whose nutritional needs are much higher than females. Even with a margin of error, he'd still be eating too little for and adult male. Even if he's off by as much as 500 calories, he'd only be eating 1500 calories, which for a man is still not enough. I think it's clear, even with estimation and error of margin, he's not providing his body with adequate nutrition.

amirite333

Just got power back to my apartment!

A bit of background.

Am a typical eurotrash british dude. Except I have worked away from home all my life. Currently I am working in Korea in a shipyard here.

Its boring as ***k!

I was in a bar after work one day in early spring and I just looked around and noticed that every guy in the bar was a typical fat beer bellied loudmouthed expat. Then I looked at myself and realised I was one too.

So I decided there and then on the spot I would change it.

I immediately cut out all starches, portatoes,rice bread cakes cookies etc.

I then found this site and used the calorie counting tools. I also adopted an Atkins approach ( I was already doing it but just didn't know that it had a name) which essentially, for me, meant just skipping fruits.

Being an engineer and slightly prone to OCD It easy as peasy for me to record every gram of food that has passes through my lips. Without fail! The only thing I don't log is my exercise. That is mainly because my job means that I am mainly desk bound and really my exercise is only cycling for maybe 30- 40 minutes a day plus I do a bit with free weights ( only 3 kilo bells) So essentially its nothing.

My main target is my diet. Most days I pre record what I will eat the next day and hey presto its easy! I have a plan and I stick to it.

Now am not married, by choice, although I have several meaningful relationships and even children and a grandchild.

And its the negative reaction that I got from these persons that p*sses me off.

My blood pressure has improved, I can move quickly up steps and stairs without having to lump around the 15 kilos of lard that I have lost.

I have some loose skin. But I understand that can take a year or so to go away. I am 183 cm ( 6'1") and 93 kilo (210 lbs in American money) So I still have some way to go.

I don't normally write personal crap on a messagboard but got the wind taken out of my sails a bit so sorry for that.