Alcoholism

ValGogo

Over indulging in calories make you gain weight.....not the alcohol.

So, by your comment alcohol has no calories? That's what I'm inferring. And remember, when an "alcoholic" drinks, he's not having 1-3 drinks, he's having a sixpack or a case, or what have you and there are a HELLUVA lot of calories in lots of booze

ValGogo

There is no such thing as moderation for an addict. One is too many and never enough. Please do not encourage this.

There are different types of addictions, and people respond to them in different ways.

I'm a functional alcoholic. I have no interest in quitting. I don't let it affect my life or my goals.

Some people are not so fortunate.

It accomplishes nothing to paint all addicts/addictions with one brush. Some people handle the cravings and are able to moderate, and some can't. It isn't a character judgment; it's a fact based on decades of addiction medicine research.

Misinformation from the misinformed. (sighs)

Just a suggestion.....don't say "funcional alcoholic" to someone who thinks they have a problem. You're not helping. The person above you had the right response. If HE thinks he has a problem, let him try to get help. Don't give him windows to justify more drinking.

ValGogo

There is no such thing as moderation for an addict. One is too many and never enough. Please do not encourage this.

There are different types of addictions, and people respond to them in different ways.

I'm a functional alcoholic. I have no interest in quitting. I don't let it affect my life or my goals.

Some people are not so fortunate.

It accomplishes nothing to paint all addicts/addictions with one brush. Some people handle the cravings and are able to moderate, and some can't. It isn't a character judgment; it's a fact based on decades of addiction medicine research.

if you identify yourself as an alcoholic and don't see a problem with it, please talk to someone about it.

it's not about 'handling cravings' or moderating; addiction is a disease. if you identify yourself as an alcoholic or an addict, you are identifying yourself as someone with a disease. it's like walking around identifying yourself as someone with cancer, someone with diabetes, or someone with lupus. ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE. if you are concerned about your drinking, check out this anonymous quiz: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer

there are very specific criteria for a diagnosis of alcoholism or addiction. this is not up for debate, it is a scientific and medical fact. alcoholism is a disease, addiction is a disease.

to the OP, writing something like that may not have been easy at all - i'm happy that you shared it. google your county and/or state and 'alcoholics anonymous' to find a local meeting. if you can't get to one because you don't drive, there is a hotline number you can call and someone will pick you up. alcoholism is a disease and it is treatable - please ask for help. and anyone reading this can message me if you have questions or concerns.

Good answer, Steph. :flowerforyou:

ValGogo

i think since you binge drink, same as with binge eating you just need to teach yourself moderation, learn how to how one or two drinks and then saying enough whether you crave more or not..it just comes down to self discipline.

Does it? Really? Keep coming....

vismundcygnus27

I feel ya - I've had problems with drinking and drugs in the past. NA/AA unfortunately never did it for me (I'm not a fan of the 12-step philosophy), but some people find it very helpful. Recovery is a slow process, but it's totally doable. Good luck, man, I wish you the best!

melindafritz1976

you need to deal witth the drinking issue
before you even start a weight loss journey

melindafritz1976

Have you thought about going to some A A meetings or some councilling of some sort?

mncodergal

I drank quite heavily for many years until one night something made me stop. I knew I would die if I finished the drink I had in my hand. It took therapy to figure out the reason I let alcohol become my crutch. I've been alcohol free since '07 and damn proud of myself. I still crave it but know that with even one sip I'd binge until I died. I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

I wish you the best of luck.

4daluvof_candice

“Willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause.” ~Rick Warren

SLLeask

In my opinion , If ever you hit your goal again... don't stop tracking your food intake .. You can drink but in a moderate way :drinker:

I disagree. Based on the little information presented, this person needs to not drink at all. There is no such thing as moderation for an addict. One is too many and never enough. Please do not encourage this.

I'm afraid I must disagree with you. I went from extremely heavy drinking on a daily basis to now being able to drink in normal moderation. The OP would seem to be able to control his drinking at times so he just seems to need help working on that. From the small amount of information given I wouldn't say he is an alcoholic (I may be wrong, in which case, seeking help from a professional would be the best way to go). Just as an overeater who loves food needs to learn moderation so does the OP at his "trigger" times. Food can be as much of an addiction as alcohol or nicotine to some. We don't immediately send someone who overeats to OA do we? Obviously, that may end up being the best course of action for a particular person, but different people respond to different assistance. It IS possible to do it because I'm living proof!

OP, since you asked what works for people, this is what worked for me... I drink shorts, not beer, so I used a low-cal mixer like diet coke or slimline tonic, then bit by bit shortened my measures. I used to pour at least a triple at a time and drink it as fast, now I am down nearer to a single. I use a large glass and use a full sized can of mixer to make it last longer. Then I convinced myself to wait 10 mins before making a drink and then eventually to NOT drink just ONE night a week, then went on to two. Now, as a rule I drink Friday and Saturday nights unless it's a special occasion another night, then what the heck. I don't drink as much wine as I did and when I do I use a smaller glass (our usual glasses fit almost half a bottle in them!!). Don't get me wrong, sometimes I go a bit mad but then get back on track and put it down to one of those things. Just like a food-binge day!

I also just remind myself that I'm a human work-in-progress. Some days I mess up and some days I'm AWESOME!!! And so are you! Good luck getting to where you want to go!

chrs86

Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.

dbmata

Good for you. That's going to pay off well for you and your kids.

Good luck.

liekewheeless

I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

belgerian

As stated get some type of help for your alcoholism there is a group on this site called Recovery Group not real active but it might help again AA has saved my life 21 years clean now.

SLLeask

I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.

liekewheeless

I'm glad it works for you. I did say it doesn't work for most, not all.

You're right, I can't speak for everyone, and everyone is different.
It is just my personal believe that your health is to important to taking chances with.

rsoice

Until you admit to yourself that your drinking is a problem, no amount of advice or input is going to help. No program, AA or otherwise, is going to have the answer. You have to decide that you've had enough and you really want to stop. I hope for your sake you make the decision before you bottom out. It's a long hard road back up but trust me when I say though the steps may hurt, the journey is worth it!

mtruitt01

IMO and family experience there is a genetic predisposition to addiction/alcoholism. My first was food. There were times in my life when was around people who drank a lot, so I drank a lot. Who you hang out with can be extremely influential. I learned an enormous amount from 12-step groups. I found a morning group with a lot of doctors, nurses, attorneys, city officials and people that surprised me. 12-step meetings are fascinating because of the range of people you get. Hearing people's stories, you begin to hear yours, or your families. Both my brother, sister and a niece died from alcohol and drugs.
Everyone is different. Do what works for you.
I believe the addictive gene is like the game of 'whack a mole'--get rid of one and another pops up. Many people have your concerns. You're not alone. Log everything. Awareness is key to seeing yourself. Love and help yourself. Quitting drinking for nine years helped me be a better everything.
Many do better with the support of an AA mentor and friend. There's a range of ages in AA.
Do whatever makes you a better father, husband, son, and friend.

ValGogo

I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.

You are the exception, not the rule. You are the 1 in a million. So, good for you, but not for all. You are basically advocating gambling with one's addiction. That's like the parent that says "hey, throw the kid in the pool; he'll learn to swim." Or he may drown. And YOU KNOW there are parents that are like that.

ValGogo

Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.

Hey, the first admission is the hardest. At least you've opened your mind to the possiblity. Hey, AA may not be for you. All people are different. But only you can decide. Good luck. Take care of you, brother!

SLLeask

I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.

You are the exception, not the rule. You are the 1 in a million. So, good for you, but not for all. You are basically advocating gambling with one's addiction. That's like the parent that says "hey, throw the kid in the pool; he'll learn to swim." Or he may drown. And YOU KNOW there are parents that are like that.

No, no, absolutely not, I am NOT advocating anything. Having had an alcoholic school friend die in her own vomit in front of her little boy I would NEVER, EVER ask anyone to "gamble with their addiction". Don't you DARE suggest that that is what I am doing, don't you DARE!!! Please read my posts carefully. The OP asked for what helped other people. I told him in my first post simply what helped ME, I never said ANYWHERE that he had to do the same and that it would work. In my second post in reply I then pointed out that drinking in moderation CAN be achieved and people should not rubbish the fact it can be done because this might give someone with an addictive mindset the idea that the only choice is alcoholism or total abstention and therefore give up and head down the alcoholic route as they simply cannot give up totally. I wanted to make it clear that it CAN be done. I am not one in a million, I know a few people who have done the same. I also stated that different things work for different people. If AA works for them, brilliant, if something else does, then also brilliant. Please don't take my words and try and start an argument over something I never said!

stephgas

Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.

proud of you for being open minded! being open allows us to learn from others.

i once heard a story about a woman at an AA meeting in phoenix. during introductions, she shared her name and said, "i don't know if i'm an alcoholic, but i've been in these rooms for 20 years and it's made me a better person". there's nothing you'll learn working the steps that is harmful.