Are Your Friends Lame Too?

mariabee

This is just a vent, but it's got to get done for my sanity...

Do you guys have friends or family that are all, "you look awesome, what are you doing?" and when you tell them, "um, just working out dude, wanna join me?" and everyone is on board until the second it's time to leave for the gym, or track, or walk and it's BAIL TIME! Or when you get to your destination all they do is whine and complain?

My husband has told me from the day we started dating that he just isn't a "workout" kinda guy, give him a football, basketball, hockey stick or golf ball and he's golden for hours, but he gyms it with me only once a week (I wish he would do more, but it's just not his thing - I get that). He's really my only sanity in this world, so I'll leave the poor guy alone.

My friends/family on the other hand, wow, they want all of my "tricks" but they never show up! It's just starting to really annoy me. So now, when people ask me to borrow my P90X or Insanity, I'm saying NO - get your own! LOL.

Had to get that out! Happy Sunday!

suzukigrl

This is just a vent, but it's got to get done for my sanity...

Do you guys have friends or family that are all, "you look awesome, what are you doing?" and when you tell them, "um, just working out dude, wanna join me?" and everyone is on board until the second it's time to leave for the gym, or track, or walk and it's BAIL TIME! Or when you get to your destination all they do is whine and complain?

My husband has told me from the day we started dating that he just isn't a "workout" kinda guy, give him a football, basketball, hockey stick or golf ball and he's golden for hours, but he gyms it with me only once a week (I wish he would do more, but it's just not his thing - I get that). He's really my only sanity in this world, so I'll leave the poor guy alone.

My friends/family on the other hand, wow, they want all of my "tricks" but they never show up! It's just starting to really annoy me. So now, when people ask me to borrow my P90X or Insanity, I'm saying NO - get your own! LOL.

Had to get that out! Happy Sunday!

i hear you. if you depend on others to motivate you, forget it. number one. that's who you can count on. if someone wants to tag along, great. but you go alone. get used to it. own it. lol. it's funny they want your secret when there is no secret. good post.

trejon

I am a great friend on here and there are many of us out there. Many times we read your comments and either do not have time or we have nothing to say. However in my head I do really cheer for all my friends. However I do not friend people without photos. It is not about looks but I desire to have a visual of my friends. Yes weekly I try to either e-mail and see how they are doing or make comments about what they have going on. Maybe you can make a request for interactive friends - ask that this be more of a communication/chat type MFP for you. I am sure that there are many seeking the same thing. Wishing you well.

roylawrence87

I am a great friend on here and there are many of us out there. Many times we read your comments and either do not have time or we have nothing to say. However in my head I do really cheer for all my friends. However I do not friend people without photos. It is not about looks but I desire to have a visual of my friends. Yes weekly I try to either e-mail and see how they are doing or make comments about what they have going on. Maybe you can make a request for interactive friends - ask that this be more of a communication/chat type MFP for you. I am sure that there are many seeking the same thing. Wishing you well.

I think she is talking about her real, in person friends, not MFPers. Not to say you don't get a lot of friends on here or any thing. I really enjoy being on here. The people are great!

roylawrence87

I have these "friends" who are only around now when they need you. I don't get invited out or just to hang out. We use to hang out everyweekend. Now its been a month since the last time we hung out. I think they are straight up jealous of what I am capable of and what I have accomplished.

oracle730

It is funny that people think there is some sort of "secret." Most people know (whether they admit it or not) that you have to watch what you eat and exercise to lose or maintain your weight. It is not a "secret"...just a fact. Also, most people don't want to committ to what it takes to get healthy because it is so easy to just eat whatever you want and not workout. What you (we) are trying to do is not that easy but it will benefit our health. The thing about using this site is that it makes everything tangible that we are doing from showing us what we are eating to when/how long we workout.

MisdemeanorM

It's only $5 to add my husband onto my gym membership and he won't do it. He's just lazy really. He even got P90x (as "something to do together" and then didn't do a single day of it (I got through 2 months of it though before stopping for preg fatigue). He needs it too but is like I said, just lazy - fast food and all his free time watching movies....

sassy_2280

roylawrence87 I am just now going through this with a friend/co-worker. She bought P90X and let me borrow the Cardio DVD well I liked it so I bought the program. She can't stop eating so she hasn't lost anything and in 3 weeks I've lost 9 pounds and down a couple pant sizes. Well things have changed and I think she's jealous. It's funny how we make a lifesytle change that's good for us and find out who our true friends are.

nsueflorence

the other day my boss was going out to get her second fast food meal of the day and asked me if I wanted anything (she has NEVER done this before I really started hitting this hard)! Not to mention how many times a day I hear. MORE water! You really are taking this healthy thing seriously! as they are guzzling down diet sodas and eating processed everything!

mzenzer

The things that annoy me the most about real world friends who want your advice and such, they always come back to "well it's just so easy for you!", or, in the case of ladies to me, "losing weight is so easy for you guys!". Ok first of all then why did you ask me for advice and want to know what I've been doing, and have me sit here and waste 10 minutes of my life watching my words travel through one ear and out the other, and second I just want to slap people who give me that it's easy for you crap. Their is NOTHING easy about what I do. We all know it takes serious determination, commitment, and sacrifice.

So yeah, my friends, God love'em, are lame too.

Like others have said, I do not in any way look at people in my life for motivation or inspiration. I take that back, and this is kind of harsh I know, but I do look at people in my life for inspiration. Inspiration on how I don't want to be. Even when I had noticeable weight to lose I never dissed anyone's weight loss/exercise ventures, listened with genuine interest when they expressed how excited they were to be working out and losing weight.

These people are called crabs by the way. http://stronglifts.com/the-crabs-people/

mzenzer

I have these "friends" who are only around now when they need you. I don't get invited out or just to hang out. We use to hang out everyweekend. Now its been a month since the last time we hung out. I think they are straight up jealous of what I am capable of and what I have accomplished.

My theory on that is it's more shame than jealousy. Deep down, without even consciously acknowledging it to themselves, they are not happy with the way they feel and what they are doing to themselves, and when someone else comes along who is doing the right things, they are shamed into either ignoring it or putting it down so that they don't feel the shame as much. Mind you this is not the case with everyone. One of my best friends and most supporting and genuinely interested in what I am doing weights 425 pounds. It kills me that he won't try to lose weight and is thinking about a gastric bypass, but he freely admits he's too lazy (he's not really we are in a fencing club together and he's quite quick on his feet) to try and has no willpower to resist food.

MisdemeanorM

One of my best friends and most supporting and genuinely interested in what I am doing weights 425 pounds. It kills me that he won't try to lose weight and is thinking about a gastric bypass, but he freely admits he's too lazy (he's not really we are in a fencing club together and he's quite quick on his feet) to try and has no willpower to resist food.

My biggest problem with gastric bypass is just what you are saying - no willpower to resist food. People eat until their stomachs are full. GB encourages this same behavior, but just on a smaller level because it takes less to feel stuffed. So many (not all, there are some with right mindset that it does help) after getting it removed, or after stretching out their "new" stomach just put the weight back on because they had no real mindset or behavior change. They did not learn to eat less, they just were incapable of eating more.

mariabee

I am a great friend on here and there are many of us out there. Many times we read your comments and either do not have time or we have nothing to say. However in my head I do really cheer for all my friends. However I do not friend people without photos. It is not about looks but I desire to have a visual of my friends. Yes weekly I try to either e-mail and see how they are doing or make comments about what they have going on. Maybe you can make a request for interactive friends - ask that this be more of a communication/chat type MFP for you. I am sure that there are many seeking the same thing. Wishing you well.

I think she is talking about her real, in person friends, not MFPers. Not to say you don't get a lot of friends on here or any thing. I really enjoy being on here. The people are great!

Agreed! And yes I meant my real-life friends; I keep coming back to MFP for tons of motivation! I heart MFP!

Flawlessk

I have only just started, but one of my friends who i work with has recently lost 6stone (all diet zero exercise over 3 years)

Anyway, she looks good, UK size 12. Yes she does havea few little lumps and bumps from the no exercise, mostly on her stomach. She is happy and healthy and watches her weight so that she never goes more that a few pounds over what she is now.

She is a hairdresser so a lot of people have seen her journey.

At first a few rude people would make comments on how fat she was (start weight 248lb)

Then she started losing and everyone was saying how great she was doing, very complimentary, "Whats your secret?"

Then as she hit the size 14/12 stage some people got downright rude again.
Comments such as, You should put some weight on, you look ill. You looked much nicer when you were a little bit heavier, and the rudest person on earth, You look DISGUSTING.

She is a much stronger person than me, i would have been in tears. But she was very polite as they are customers and then told me later f*!k them, i've worked hard, i'm happy, my fiance's happy and i'm not too skinny.

I think some people find the only way they can make themselves feel better is by putting other people down.

My dad is a talker but not a doer. You know the type, oh i'm going to train for this and diet and lose weight....tomorrow....monday....not feeling well, make it next monday...etc

And my big brother, who i am not slagging off at all, he is brilliant, but he always goes to the shop to get himself something (chocolate & cherry coke) and feels bad if he doesn't bring something back for me. It makes him happy and i feel better letting him, so i tend to tell him its lovely and tasted amazing, then put it in a drawer for my mum later haha

xx