Just a rant from a mom tired of fighting for her workout.

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  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    I'm feeling ya! I cant exercise other than walking/running when my youngest is awake cause it triggers a major meltdown (he's on the spectrum) And when I asked hubby to watch him for 40 mins 3 times a week so I can go for a run he kicked up the biggest stink, and wants to know when he can get 3 hours a week to himself away from the kids. (I'm a sahm so Im home with the youngest all day, and then up with him all night) So I'm just gonna start exercising at home in the hour between when the youngin goes to sleep and I do, and bring him in the pram on my runs.


    Did you tell him he gets 8 hours a day away from the kids? Lol I work at home, so I get where you're at with the kiddo attached to your hip 24/7. I don't think they understand how draining it can be to never be alone. That's the reaction I get when I actually ask to do anything alone, like say run to he grocery store w/o the kids. Good luck to you! Hope things get easier for you along the way. :-)

    Yeah, I am sure his 8 hours away from the kids is a vacation...

    Yeah I am sure she didn't make the baby by herself.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
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    why can't Dad take the kids out of the house for an hour on the weekends? To the park? to the mall playground if the weather is bad? He spends no time with them during the week, it should be an automatic dad time for a couple of hours on the weekend.
  • MomTo3Lovez
    MomTo3Lovez Posts: 800 Member
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    I would suggest that maybe just for the weekends or at least one of the weekend days that you go out for a walk or a run that way you get your exercise in AND you get some you time and actually be alone. Aside from that I don't think that an hour on Sat. and an hour on Sun will kill your guy for you to work out.
  • Autk79
    Autk79 Posts: 285 Member
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    I have this same prob. I have 3 boys I raise alone so there isnt anyone to take care of them. Luckily my oldest is 13 so he can at least help me occasionally with the lil ones so I can workout or I could get my lazy butt up 45 min early to do a workout before work.

    If you are anywhere near Fthwth Texas I have a tv in my garage you can have...


    I hope your husband can help you out. Im not sure how old your kids are but I dont know why it would be so hard to help or at least every other day.
  • Sherbear1109
    Sherbear1109 Posts: 155 Member
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    I'm feeling ya! I cant exercise other than walking/running when my youngest is awake cause it triggers a major meltdown (he's on the spectrum) And when I asked hubby to watch him for 40 mins 3 times a week so I can go for a run he kicked up the biggest stink, and wants to know when he can get 3 hours a week to himself away from the kids. (I'm a sahm so Im home with the youngest all day, and then up with him all night) So I'm just gonna start exercising at home in the hour between when the youngin goes to sleep and I do, and bring him in the pram on my runs.


    Did you tell him he gets 8 hours a day away from the kids? Lol I work at home, so I get where you're at with the kiddo attached to your hip 24/7. I don't think they understand how draining it can be to never be alone. That's the reaction I get when I actually ask to do anything alone, like say run to he grocery store w/o the kids. Good luck to you! Hope things get easier for you along the way. :-)

    Yeah, I am sure his 8 hours away from the kids is a vacation...

    I didn't say it was a vacation. Just meant I don't understand why he, or anyone, would not want to spend time with their kids after not seeing them all week. My oldest was in Kindergarten last year and I missed the heck out of him when he was gone all day.
  • ThatMouse
    ThatMouse Posts: 229 Member
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    I'm not married and I don't have kids, so I don't know how good this would be, but here's some ideas that came to mind for me while I was reading through your posts:

    Your Workouts:
    Have you considered doing bodyweight workouts (or other non-gym and non-media based workouts)? Ones you can just write down in a notebook and go to town anywhere in your house?
    I have a bodyweight routine that I follow 3x a week that I write in a small notebook. It basically looks like this:
    - Pull Up Progression [# of reps x # of sets]
    - Handstand Push Up Progression [# r x # S]
    - Leg Raise Progression [# r x # S]
    - Dip or Push Up Progression [# r x # S]
    - Horizontal Pull Progression [# r x # S]
    - Plan Progression [# seconds/minutes]
    That format is the basic bodyweight from StartBodyweight.com (free resource - tons of pictures/video tutorials, plus a workout schedule you can print).

    You can also check out the bodyweight workouts from NerdFitness.com.

    I like writing my workout in my notebooks - it gives me a clear image of my progress, I don't have to remember what to do, I don't have to rely on videos or websites, and I can carry it where ever I go so I can put in a workout that keeps me on plan.

    And it doesn't have to be just bodyweight. Throw in some Zumba moves or whatever else. If the weather's nice and you have time, go for a walk outside or a jog.

    Get Your Kids Involved:
    Your hubby might be unable to do this because he's attached to his downtime. My boyfriend works shift work and sometimes he gets like that, too - unable to get himself up and do anything other than watch TV or play games - he's working on it, though, and exercising more frequently.

    As for the kids, start a push up competition.
    I teach karate to young ones (8-14) and a lot of them have zero attention span and terrible physical capabilities (granted, they're kidlets). What we do is have a push up challenge. We have a goal that they do ten push ups in a row, with perfect form, by a date. So far, they're on track.

    For you and your kids, make it a competition. Make it a game. "Winner" gets to sit out a punishment round of sit ups or burpees or something, ha ha! Or they get out of a household chore, or something else.

    Teach them to do a proper push up and have a push up off every day or every week. Proper form only, any bad form (elbows splayed, head bobbing, not chest-to-ground, back curving, etc) and they don't count! Tie a bigger reward to a larger number goal - like first to do 20 proper-form push ups gets something off their wishlist (make sure you don't use food as a reward).

    If your kids go outside to play, why not join them? Play frisbee or soccer or whatever else, too, maybe. Or as they play outside, do a bodyweight circuit outside with them.

    It sounds like your family is attached to the TV - your fitness and workouts don't need to be tied to it. In fact, it's better if it isn't. Explore outside the box - what else, outside of TV, can you use for your workouts? Write it down, mix it up, try something new.

    There might even be free fitness classes for mums in your area - give it a search! You never know what you'll find if you start looking around outside. :3
  • Sherbear1109
    Sherbear1109 Posts: 155 Member
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    why can't Dad take the kids out of the house for an hour on the weekends? To the park? to the mall playground if the weather is bad? He spends no time with them during the week, it should be an automatic dad time for a couple of hours on the weekend.

    ^This is kind of how I feel about it. That's why it frustrates me so. Plus, even though I'm home, I do work out of my house. So it's not like I'm only cooking, cleaning, and caring for kids. I put in a good 30 - 35 hours a week of actual work time, too. I just don't get to leave the house to work.
  • Courtney_LeeAn
    Courtney_LeeAn Posts: 2 Member
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    Not getting spousal support is the hardest.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Are they overweight?

    Also, could you run outside or go to a gym?
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I don't think an hour a day for the TV is too much to ask. Tell them to suck it up butter cup. If the kids are old enough maybe that hour a day should be reading time or something.

    But you could also think about incorporating some kind of fun family activity on weekends. Walks, bike rides, hikes, etc. I don't think it's possible for kids to be too active.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Bumping for later
  • sistrsprkl
    sistrsprkl Posts: 1,013 Member
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    Can you join a gym with childcare?
    Can you put kids in jogger and run to park? Do exercises there while kids play?
    Join a stroller strides type group? Or make your own workout group with some friends (free! dowload apps)?
    I know it's difficult sometimes but you have to make it happen. My husband works very long hours incl weekends, you just have to do what you gotta do :)
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    I'd consider a different workout on the weekend that doesn't involve the TV. It kind of sounds like you've painted yourself into a corner where if the TV is not available, you feel like you can't work out. I'm not taking anyone's side about who should be entitled to the TV, just saying that you can give yourself other options so that you don't have to rely on having the TV available all the time. You might find something that you like just as much as your video.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    why can't Dad take the kids out of the house for an hour on the weekends? To the park? to the mall playground if the weather is bad? He spends no time with them during the week, it should be an automatic dad time for a couple of hours on the weekend.

    ^This is kind of how I feel about it. That's why it frustrates me so. Plus, even though I'm home, I do work out of my house. So it's not like I'm only cooking, cleaning, and caring for kids. I put in a good 30 - 35 hours a week of actual work time, too. I just don't get to leave the house to work.

    I have no idea how you manage that with little ones. I treasure my time at my office where I can eat and pee without on my own schedule.

    While you *should* be able to do what you want to do for a single hour in the day, sometimes holding that line in the sand - no matter how just it is - can be become wearing. Sometimes just figuring out a creative way to get with you want without having to fight for it is a better course.

    You might want to think of a few different ways of approaching the situation and discuss with your husband which he'd prefer: would he like to watch the kids by himself so that you can go to a gym, for example?
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
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    So, I think it's important to remember that dad/husband is working 16 hours a day, including travel time. I did that that for 3 years. It's tiring and depressing. And the only reason I did it was for my wife and kids. Had I been single, there would have been no ****ing way i'd have done that. But it was something that I had to do at the the time.
    It got depressing when I thought about how much time I was missing with the kids and wife. The kids were 8 and 9 and I was pretty pretty much exhausted on the weekends. I tried to take the kids and wife to the park on Sundays so the wife and I could spend some time together whle I watched the kids play. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that the kids were going to benifit in the long run, and maybe would be able to appreciate what I was doing at some point down the road. The kids are 17 and 18 now, and their college years are going to be easier because of those 16 hour days.
    So, we should be careful about calling him selfish. I can remember the exhaustion, and my short temper. I'm sure he feels like he giving more of himself, physically and mentally, than he ever imagined he would.

    THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOUR NEEDS ARE UNIMPORTANT. I know that you're working harder at home simply because he's not there doing more of the domestic stuff that needs to be done.

    I'm going to suggest that maybe you could skip Zumba on the weekends (my understanding is that your able to workout durring the week) and instead try and make time for your family to be together doing something for a couple hours each weekend day.

    I think trading two hours of workouts a week for two hours of fun family time will go further towards your and your family's health.

    Just 2 cents from a guy that has been in your husband's shoes.
  • BlueLadyBug22
    BlueLadyBug22 Posts: 156 Member
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    When I started, if my husband was home, he would get so annoyed at my exercise time. I pushed through it and if it was too much of an issue I would use my laptop or go for a walk. He is totally supportive for the most part now. I think some people just hate when a drastic change happens. I now do most of my exercise when he is at work, so it's a non issue anyway. My child will either copy me or go play.
  • 949BeachMom
    949BeachMom Posts: 89
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    wow well i can be mean so my husband will not want me to throw a fit he will back off. cause i get serious not cause im a brat . my husband may have to support all of us but thats easy. if i could leave n just have to work id be happy. you have to stand your ground! let your husband know how you feel.

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