Desperate need of motivation

tmlefevre

Hello Community,

This is my first time posting. I am a 20 year old female weighing in at 174 lbs., and i am stuck in a mindset of wanting to lose weight but not doing anything about it. During the school year I am in the gym 5 days a week for about an hour and a half to two hours a day. I was down 13 lbs, but I then I came back home. I told myself that this summer I would workout the same way I do at school, but I have barely ran a mile in months, and I gained everything back, and more. At this point I have lost all motivation and will-power. I go back to school in a month, but I am afraid that I will not be able to get that back. I cannot do anything at home because all I can think about is my family judging me and watching me. I am uncomfortable working out in my house but there are no gyms around me. I am ashamed of my body and everything I lost in these past two months.

My question to the community, how do I get my willpower and motivation back? How do I start back up again?

JessMyOpinion

I was your weight when I was your age and was very afraid of being judged. Do you have your own bedroom or is there a time of day when your family is at work or running errands and you have the house to yourself to work out? As far as motivation goes really figuring out what your goal is, establishing a plan of action, and staying focused are what helps me. If you would like, feel free to add me as a friend. I know to an extend how you're feeling.

SueInAz

The thing about motivation and willpower is that no one can give them to you; they have to come from within. I could sit here and tell you that you need to do these things but that's not going to make you change into running clothes and go run 3 miles. What you should probably do is sit down and really think about the pros and cons of continuing to live like you are vs. getting back into the routine of eating right and exercising. (And really, it's the eating right that's the more important of the two, by far. You can't outrun a bad diet.) Take that list and post it somewhere you're going to see it every day and let it help you motivate yourself again.

One thing I can tell you is this... at 20, you're setting yourself up now for what is probably going to be the rest of your life. You can be healthy and active and fit or you can keep putting on the pounds and making excuses. 20 or 30 years from now will you look back and know you've set yourself up for a healthy and active middle age or will you be fighting to drop 100 or 200 pounds, dealing with diabetes, heart disease and joint problems because it was easier to sit on the sofa and eat poorly? Yes, I know all of that was harsh, but it really is something to think about and perhaps just a little bit of motivation. I truly wish that I had stayed as active in my 30s as I was in my 20s. I never let myself get to the point where I was overweight but I did get lazy. Things would be easier now if I hadn't.

Best of luck to you whatever you choose!

lwheck

I agree that the motivation and will power has to come from within. I am 44 years old and will be 45 in August, I decided one day that my weight had just taken to much of my life. My Son was born when I was 40 and the things that I wanted to do was to much trouble. I was 338 lbs and could not get motivated. but when I decided I had enough I logged on to MFP, started watching the calories and working out 5 to 7 days a week and am proud to say that I am down to 266 lbs. So get down and dig deep for what you are looking for. DO NOT let anyone including your self ever tell you that you can't do this. I know that if I can do this anyone can. Hang in there and get busy. 20 years old will be 40 years old before you know it and this is hard to do at 44. Good luck and remember this. My Drill Sergeant used to tell us this in Basic. You are Dedicated and Motivated.

psd85118

I take it "back home" means with parents. Talk to your mom, pull her aside and be open and honest with her. Tell her it is uncomfortable for you. See if there are Zumba classes or something similar that she may want to do with you for exercise. See if she would walk with you. Offer to walk people's dogs - exercise and extra money.

kaitlinrowe

The exact same thing happened to me when I came home for Christmas. I talked with my mom and dad and they encouraged me to sign up for some sort of run. I challenged myself and spent the money to take part in the Tough Mudder. Tough Mudder was this past Saturday--I did it! Having an excuse to train helped me so much, I also found friends in a similar situation. Please add me as a friend or message me, I'm still looking for friends to continue support that I can help as well.!!!

MonsterSugarBug

When first moved in with my boyfriend, I was absolutely terrified of him seeing me workout (still am). I waited until he went to work to do my exercise DVD, but then it came to meals...he heaped his plate and looked at me funny if I only took small amounts, so instead of heaping my plate, I'd get up for seconds because, 'you can't be full already?!?' I gave up and was about the same weight as you when I started out this time around. I haven't done a workout DVD in quite some time, and even though we've lived together for a few years now, I'll either hurry up and fix my plate before he comes to the kitchen to get his, or I wait until he fixes his plate to get mine, and I hide the measuring cups and food scale tray in the sink so he won't see them. I don't think he would, but I'm afraid he'll laugh at me or ask me what I'm doing and why.

When I need a pick me up, I turn to my pals on here. I creep on their food diaries and exercise diaries. I look at their achievements, read the comments they leave on my wall as well as their other pals. It makes me want to do better. For the best motivation, I look in the mirror. I see my belly slowly shrinking, my cheek bones becoming more defined. I also see the stubborn love handles, and my massive thighs. Seeing the good makes me want to work that much harder to improve the 'bad'.

You are your own motivation. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, 'how bad do you want it?' Until you can honestly tell yourself, 'I want it real bad!' you will be stuck in your rut. If you are uncomfortable exercising at home with your family around (I am), find a time when you are alone in the house, or simply go for a walk around your neighborhood. If anyone questions you, tell them you want some fresh air, maybe invite them to go with you. You've got this, you just have to find it in yourself. :flowerforyou:

Allisonfitness99

My motivation comes from people who help me and cheer me on !

wonderwoman234

When you want to lose weight more than you want to overeat, that is when you will be ready. Many people believe that they get a lot of benefits out of overeating. It makes them feel good in the moment and seems to help them cope with stress, boredom, anger, etc. (or so they think). So even though a part of you wants to lose weight, you probably aren't ready to give up what you see as benefits to overeating. The truth, however, is that there are lots of other ways to feel good and cope with negative emotions without using food.

Some people also, subconsciously, are ambivalent about being skinny. For example, some people fear having to be more sexual or socialif they lose weight. Fat can act like a protective cocoon for some people.

My suggestion would be to figure out what you are getting out of being overweight/overeating and see if you can find better ways of achieving those benefits.

cdgabbert

I am curious why you would be embarrassed of your family? One BIG thing I have right now is my dad, though miles away being very supportive... so much so he ensures I have money to pay my gym membership since I am not working right now...

I would think if you were honest with them, they would be quite supportive and they most likely have seen the change in you since your return home...

I admit I get intimidated to use weights at the gym around others, yet have no fears of doing zumba or treadmill... most of my fears are NOT knowing how to use free weights.

Find things that motivate you... a photo or a picture of an outfit you want and use that to motivate...

tmlefevre

Thank you everyone for your support! I will definitely take everything that you have posted to heart and make a plan for myself.
I have had MFP for awhile, but this is the first time I have really used it to it's full potential. I am scared, but I want to get over that fear. Thank you all again and I can't wait to start my journey with all of you.