Fealing Defeated

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justagrrl898
justagrrl898 Posts: 27
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been on a MAJOR binge for the past 5 days. I havn't even weighed myself or tracked anything in fear that I have gained.
This is so hard. My husband keeps BAD food in the house and I am an emotional eater, and well life sucks right now. I have totally jumped ship after doing so well for over a month. I always get like this and never start again. I fell alone and with no help. I HATE BEING FAT.
I want to have fun with my son....play and go to water parks. Just be able to breathe and feel good.
How do you guys get over this? I struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to cut, but when I stopped that I turned to food. I have been big my whole life and Im tired of it......but not enough to pass on a nutter butter staring me in the face, even though I have an apple I should eat.
Sorry to vent and throw it out there. I'm just so discouraged, and when I get like this I just give up for years.....
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Replies

  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    The way I see it you have two choices:
    1) keep trying
    2) give up

    With option 1, you recognize that you're not perfect, but you keep trying anyway. One day or one week isn't going to ruin your entire progress. You just forgive yourself for being human, brush yourself off, and move on (starting with the next meal, not "tomorrow" which never comes).

    With option 2, you get to feel like a failure. It's really a self-fulfilling prophesy. You're striving for perfection, but no one is perfect, so you're setting yourself up for failure. When you realize you're not perfect and never can be, you give up.

    I'm going with option 1.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Add me. I will not let you give up so easily. I have given up twice now for the past 8 years.

    We can do this.
  • RhapsodyInC
    RhapsodyInC Posts: 10 Member
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    Think about other activities that you enjoy doing. Reading, walking, having a bath, exercising, playing a game with your son, cleaning, listening to music, zumba, playing an instrument etc. Because things are difficult for you right now it's important to do something that you really enjoy. As often as possible. Daily would be great! (If difficult to make time for.) Often when people are stressed and don't do these things it can lead to comfort eating, being irritable or overly emotional (or even cutting).
    Start logging again (maybe skip the scales for a few days) and learn from this. Each days starts fresh :)
  • LotusAsh
    LotusAsh Posts: 294 Member
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    i'm in the same boat as you, used to be up at 4:30 every morning to get to the gym by 5. Right now, I can't even find the energy or the motivation to do it
  • cherisuzanne
    cherisuzanne Posts: 20 Member
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    I don't very often post anything but I so know just what you are talking about. I just wanted to jump in and say I understand and please just keep moving forward. A step back doesn't mean you are heading in that direction. Turn around and go forward again. At some point the steps backward will be less and less. Good luck to you and keep your nose, feet and in my case my big tummy pointing ahead. lol
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
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    Set backs are a part of the journey. The important part is that you keep trying and moving forward. You can do this.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
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    It sounds like the Nutter Butter is more important to you than playing with your son. Everyone has to set their own priorities. You can leave yours as they are or you can change them.
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
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    1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.

    2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.

    3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.

    4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.

    5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.

    You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.
  • tjphelps73
    tjphelps73 Posts: 171 Member
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    Pull yourself together. You control your own destiny! I was obese my entire life so I completely understand everything you just said. I am also an emotional eater. You have to make the decision to either change your lifestyle or eat yourself to death. Sucks, huh? You change your lifestyle now, you will live longer to enjoy not only your life, your son's life, BUT your grandchildren's lives.

    Throw the crap out. If your husband wants it; he can eat it outside the house. He will understand that you need to make changes. If he does not understand and chooses not to get on board, then steer the ship yourself. Be a strong woman for yourself and your son.

    You will have days that you fall down; pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and MOVE forward. You can not change the past.

    You can do it.

    Eat to Live NOT Live to Eat!
  • yourpalsoap
    yourpalsoap Posts: 88
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    when we eat, dopamine is released in the brain to tell us we're doing something enjoyable (same as when taking certain stimulatory drugs and after sex) so it's no wonder emotional-eating is so common.

    the "simple" solution that, unfortunately, is much harder than it sounds is to replace emotional-eating with other things that you enjoy. it's so hard to get back up when you've slipped but you're not a failure. the fact that you're here seeking help shows that you don't want to give up and you're stronger than you believe.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
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    If you were my sister or someone else I loved, this is the advice I'd give you:

    (1) There are no "BAD" foods. If you adjust the way you view food, for instance looking at is as fuel to help you meet your goals, then it ceases to be good or bad. It ceases to be a "comfort." Hug your child for comfort. Thank the heavens that you have a husband that loves you.

    (2) Your success as an individual is not based on your weight or capability to lose weight

    (3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. Don't misdirect the biggest health concerns you have by thinking "oh if only I was thin, all my problems would vanish..." I speak from experience. If you have a life-long tendency to have unhealthy coping mechanisms, get some cognitive/behavioral therapy to help you cope using healthy tactics. Believe me, I totally understand. But the underlying issue with your weight is your coping issues. Deal with them now, or face a life of frustration and disappointment and misery.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
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    1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.

    2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.

    3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.

    4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.

    5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.

    You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.

    Good advice right here.
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
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    Log what you can

    Own it

    Move on

    We all have low times....that's why we are all here.

    DONT beat yourself up.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: ,
  • drey0422
    drey0422 Posts: 39
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    Do it for your son!!! Go with him to the park even if you cant keep up with him that can be your work out. I've given up so many times but I keep going for my kids. Set a good healthy lifestyle for your son to follow and I'm sure he would love to have mom play with him at the park. Don't give up!! Your tracker says you've lost 10 lbs, don't throw your hard work out the window...
  • Dentice143
    Dentice143 Posts: 42 Member
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    1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.

    2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.

    3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.

    4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.

    5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.

    You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.

    This is a great response!
  • tairaven
    tairaven Posts: 72 Member
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    I totally get what you're saying, but I have to agree that you need to make this a priority. If you don't really want to get healthier, you won't put in the work required to do so. I have the same issues that get in the way: kids, husband, work, and college... so I get it. I struggle with resisting the temptations and with wanting to veg out instead of working out, but I do it anyway. Why?? Because being healthy is more important than eating crap I shouldn't be - because being healthy is more important than the latest episode on TV. Because being healthy is important - period.

    It may be a slow process and may take a long time. You can count on life will get in your way. And, it most definitely won't be easy or simple.... but the one thing I can be sure of is that when you have reached your goal - whatever that goal might be - you won't regret it. You just have to make the first move and put yourself, and your health, first. You can do this!!!
  • ChriJMitch
    ChriJMitch Posts: 70 Member
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    Add me. Let's get this done.

    There are a lot of things in this life we can't control. But, the one thing you will ALWAYS have control over is what you put in your mouth. Always.

    Remove emotions from your food. Food is fuel for what you need to get done. That is it. View it as a necessity. People who are
    "emotional" eaters having underlying issues and use food as a (poor) coping mechanism. You are an addict. Food is your drug.

    Be above the food.
  • laurie04427
    laurie04427 Posts: 421 Member
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    How do you guys get over this? I struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to cut, but when I stopped that I turned to food.

    This part here that you said jumped out to me. I think seeing a therapist might help. Hard to tackle weight loss if your dealing with the issues above as well.
  • sheedy17
    sheedy17 Posts: 128
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    Forget the last 5 days and start today, put the past in the past and start a new chapter today. It is hard but you can do it
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,210 Member
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    I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I understand how you feel. I've fallen many times. Yesterday is over, move on. The operative word here being move. If I can do it, you can.

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