Fealing Defeated
justagrrl898
Posts: 27
I have been on a MAJOR binge for the past 5 days. I havn't even weighed myself or tracked anything in fear that I have gained.
This is so hard. My husband keeps BAD food in the house and I am an emotional eater, and well life sucks right now. I have totally jumped ship after doing so well for over a month. I always get like this and never start again. I fell alone and with no help. I HATE BEING FAT.
I want to have fun with my son....play and go to water parks. Just be able to breathe and feel good.
How do you guys get over this? I struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to cut, but when I stopped that I turned to food. I have been big my whole life and Im tired of it......but not enough to pass on a nutter butter staring me in the face, even though I have an apple I should eat.
Sorry to vent and throw it out there. I'm just so discouraged, and when I get like this I just give up for years.....
This is so hard. My husband keeps BAD food in the house and I am an emotional eater, and well life sucks right now. I have totally jumped ship after doing so well for over a month. I always get like this and never start again. I fell alone and with no help. I HATE BEING FAT.
I want to have fun with my son....play and go to water parks. Just be able to breathe and feel good.
How do you guys get over this? I struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to cut, but when I stopped that I turned to food. I have been big my whole life and Im tired of it......but not enough to pass on a nutter butter staring me in the face, even though I have an apple I should eat.
Sorry to vent and throw it out there. I'm just so discouraged, and when I get like this I just give up for years.....
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Replies
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The way I see it you have two choices:
1) keep trying
2) give up
With option 1, you recognize that you're not perfect, but you keep trying anyway. One day or one week isn't going to ruin your entire progress. You just forgive yourself for being human, brush yourself off, and move on (starting with the next meal, not "tomorrow" which never comes).
With option 2, you get to feel like a failure. It's really a self-fulfilling prophesy. You're striving for perfection, but no one is perfect, so you're setting yourself up for failure. When you realize you're not perfect and never can be, you give up.
I'm going with option 1.0 -
Add me. I will not let you give up so easily. I have given up twice now for the past 8 years.
We can do this.0 -
Think about other activities that you enjoy doing. Reading, walking, having a bath, exercising, playing a game with your son, cleaning, listening to music, zumba, playing an instrument etc. Because things are difficult for you right now it's important to do something that you really enjoy. As often as possible. Daily would be great! (If difficult to make time for.) Often when people are stressed and don't do these things it can lead to comfort eating, being irritable or overly emotional (or even cutting).
Start logging again (maybe skip the scales for a few days) and learn from this. Each days starts fresh
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i'm in the same boat as you, used to be up at 4:30 every morning to get to the gym by 5. Right now, I can't even find the energy or the motivation to do it0
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I don't very often post anything but I so know just what you are talking about. I just wanted to jump in and say I understand and please just keep moving forward. A step back doesn't mean you are heading in that direction. Turn around and go forward again. At some point the steps backward will be less and less. Good luck to you and keep your nose, feet and in my case my big tummy pointing ahead. lol0
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Set backs are a part of the journey. The important part is that you keep trying and moving forward. You can do this.0
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It sounds like the Nutter Butter is more important to you than playing with your son. Everyone has to set their own priorities. You can leave yours as they are or you can change them.0
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1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.
2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.
3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.
4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.
5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.
You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.0 -
Pull yourself together. You control your own destiny! I was obese my entire life so I completely understand everything you just said. I am also an emotional eater. You have to make the decision to either change your lifestyle or eat yourself to death. Sucks, huh? You change your lifestyle now, you will live longer to enjoy not only your life, your son's life, BUT your grandchildren's lives.
Throw the crap out. If your husband wants it; he can eat it outside the house. He will understand that you need to make changes. If he does not understand and chooses not to get on board, then steer the ship yourself. Be a strong woman for yourself and your son.
You will have days that you fall down; pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and MOVE forward. You can not change the past.
You can do it.
Eat to Live NOT Live to Eat!0 -
when we eat, dopamine is released in the brain to tell us we're doing something enjoyable (same as when taking certain stimulatory drugs and after sex) so it's no wonder emotional-eating is so common.
the "simple" solution that, unfortunately, is much harder than it sounds is to replace emotional-eating with other things that you enjoy. it's so hard to get back up when you've slipped but you're not a failure. the fact that you're here seeking help shows that you don't want to give up and you're stronger than you believe.0 -
If you were my sister or someone else I loved, this is the advice I'd give you:
(1) There are no "BAD" foods. If you adjust the way you view food, for instance looking at is as fuel to help you meet your goals, then it ceases to be good or bad. It ceases to be a "comfort." Hug your child for comfort. Thank the heavens that you have a husband that loves you.
(2) Your success as an individual is not based on your weight or capability to lose weight
(3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. Don't misdirect the biggest health concerns you have by thinking "oh if only I was thin, all my problems would vanish..." I speak from experience. If you have a life-long tendency to have unhealthy coping mechanisms, get some cognitive/behavioral therapy to help you cope using healthy tactics. Believe me, I totally understand. But the underlying issue with your weight is your coping issues. Deal with them now, or face a life of frustration and disappointment and misery.0 -
1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.
2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.
3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.
4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.
5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.
You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.
Good advice right here.0 -
Log what you can
Own it
Move on
We all have low times....that's why we are all here.
DONT beat yourself up.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: ,0 -
Do it for your son!!! Go with him to the park even if you cant keep up with him that can be your work out. I've given up so many times but I keep going for my kids. Set a good healthy lifestyle for your son to follow and I'm sure he would love to have mom play with him at the park. Don't give up!! Your tracker says you've lost 10 lbs, don't throw your hard work out the window...0
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1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.
2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.
3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.
4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.
5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.
You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.
This is a great response!0 -
I totally get what you're saying, but I have to agree that you need to make this a priority. If you don't really want to get healthier, you won't put in the work required to do so. I have the same issues that get in the way: kids, husband, work, and college... so I get it. I struggle with resisting the temptations and with wanting to veg out instead of working out, but I do it anyway. Why?? Because being healthy is more important than eating crap I shouldn't be - because being healthy is more important than the latest episode on TV. Because being healthy is important - period.
It may be a slow process and may take a long time. You can count on life will get in your way. And, it most definitely won't be easy or simple.... but the one thing I can be sure of is that when you have reached your goal - whatever that goal might be - you won't regret it. You just have to make the first move and put yourself, and your health, first. You can do this!!!0 -
Add me. Let's get this done.
There are a lot of things in this life we can't control. But, the one thing you will ALWAYS have control over is what you put in your mouth. Always.
Remove emotions from your food. Food is fuel for what you need to get done. That is it. View it as a necessity. People who are
"emotional" eaters having underlying issues and use food as a (poor) coping mechanism. You are an addict. Food is your drug.
Be above the food.0 -
How do you guys get over this? I struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to cut, but when I stopped that I turned to food.
This part here that you said jumped out to me. I think seeing a therapist might help. Hard to tackle weight loss if your dealing with the issues above as well.0 -
Forget the last 5 days and start today, put the past in the past and start a new chapter today. It is hard but you can do it0
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I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I understand how you feel. I've fallen many times. Yesterday is over, move on. The operative word here being move. If I can do it, you can.0
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Take a long look at that beautiful boy of yours and ask yourself "What kind of Mom does he deserve?"
If the answer is, "A Mom who is going to be there for him," walk away from the Nutter Butters and keep walking.
You can do this.
We all have triggers. We all have stress. We all have people in our lives who aren't necessarily supportive.
We all had to find ways to move past those things.
Feel free to add me. I can be tough when you need it, but I'll always be supportive. It's a lifetime journey, not a two-week fix.0 -
You need to put your big girl panties on and make a decision........Am I going to stay fat and unhappy or am I going to do something about it?
Are you being treated for your depression and anxiety? If you aren't then maybe you need to get on something to start to get you evened out some. I'm on a med and it helps keep me from ripping everyones heads off, lol.
Are you exercising? Exercising helps with mood. I see a big difference now that I'm exercising regularly.....and I don't mean just a 20min walk a couple times a week. At least moderate exercise 3-4x week.
Also, a stumble doesn't mean you've failed. Refocus, decide what you want from life and move in that direction. We all go through downs but as long as you have more ups and are moving towards your goal it's okay. Put the stumbles behind you and just go forward without beating yourself up. It is what it is and you can't change it but you can change what you do in the future.
You need to dicuss the food situation with your husband and help him realize that having crap at home does not help you. Is he also overweight? Have a heart to heart with him and help him realize that this is a life or death situation and you are afraid of not being around for your son. The best situation would be for the two of you to start moving towards a healthier lifestyle.
But in the end it all comes down to CHOICES. You choose to eat the crap in the house, you choose to not change your life, you choose to stay the same. No matter what other people are doing around you, you are making these choices so change and make better choices.0 -
I've been on and off the bandwagon time and time again! I'm and emotional eater as well and heck, I just LOVE food, I LOVE to eat!!! These past few days I have not been eating the best and, like you, I'm scared to death to get on the scale b/c I'm terrified of the number I'll see! I've been working so hard lately, and to just throw it all away so quickly and to have to start all over again. It is a struggle, but all you can do is, once you eat bad, just forget it, put it in the past! It'll all be worth it in the end!!! You can do it, it is possible! I'm a work in progress, just as you are (believe me, I love my nutter butters too!!) LOL We can do this honey!!!0
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I'm feeling your feels today. I'm travelling down the slippery alope of caring less about myself. I've been struggling with coming to terms with change, feeling sorry for myself and dealing with the fact that my bad habits have led me here.
How did I do it before? I just did it. Just do it today. If you have tips and tricks up your sleeve that you learned when you succeeded for thirty days, replicate them. Just do it. When I'm at goal weight I still need to exercise and eat within TDEE. If I just do this when I'm overweight also, I'll get rid of the extra pounds. Just do it. If you have a binge, forget it, brush it off, and just keep doing it:)0 -
Have compassion for yourself. Make today better than yesterday and go from there. Life is a precious thing, do what makes you happy and stick with it! Do not give up just because you have a bad week/month. I have been on this journey for over one year with a lot of ups and downs, but soon you will see the overall line moving downward even though there are peaks and valleys in your weight. Trust yourself and know that you can do it even if you have some moments of weakness, it does not matter, keep going!!0
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DON'T STOP SNACKING....... I eat snacks all the time only they aren't nutter butter cookies they're fruits or vegetables or air popped popcorn for example.0
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It's been 5 days. How many days of bad eating did you have that got you to the weight that you are at? I am betting it was more than 5. So draw a line under this, and start again. You have all the reasons to restart so just do it!0
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As my profile pic says...If you want to quit, ask yourself why you started in the first place 0
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The way I see it you have two choices:
1) keep trying
2) give up
With option 1, you recognize that you're not perfect, but you keep trying anyway. One day or one week isn't going to ruin your entire progress. You just forgive yourself for being human, brush yourself off, and move on (starting with the next meal, not "tomorrow" which never comes).
With option 2, you get to feel like a failure. It's really a self-fulfilling prophesy. You're striving for perfection, but no one is perfect, so you're setting yourself up for failure. When you realize you're not perfect and never can be, you give up.
I'm going with option 1.
Very wise advice!0 -
My advice is, take it moment by moment. Set small goals! Daily goals! We can only conquer a day at a time, right? Make as many healthy choices as you can today! Take each day as it comes! If you have a bad day, dust yourself off and start again! If you have a bad meal. dust yourself off and start again! There is NO RULE that says if you eat junk, the rest of the day is trashed. You binge, shake it off and make healthy choices next meal. I try to add in little treats into my daily calorie goals, and I've recently found that I'm not a breakfast person, and I personally do better with pushing meal 1 out until 9:30 or 10, as it gives me more calories in the evening, when I usually want a snack or a treat. If you want to add me my diary is open to friends, so you can see what I'm talking about. Just remember, take it 1 day, 1 hour, 1 meal at a time, and CONQUER it! The more often you make healthy choices, the better you'll feel, and you'll start seeing results. Also, check your calories based on your TDEE, if you haven't. Make sure you're allowing yourself enough calories! The more deprived I feel, the more likely I am to binge. Don't punish your body, love it enough to nourish it with good healthy food, and treats here and there! Remember the quote, fall down 7 times, stand up 8!!! Good luck OP! You got this! :flowerforyou:0
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