Fresh start #762 for 31y/o lady

kateofellis

Oh hey there...How are you?

I'm forcing myself into the community aspect of this after nearly 20 years of battling with my weight (yes, since middle school). I've done a lifetime of yo-yoing but I'm really tired of starting over.

I think the lowest I've gotten as an adult was ~205lbs 5 years ago when I was vegan for a few years. (Though, it's very very easy to be fat and vegan :happy: ). 2 cities later, it's all come back with a vengeance hitting 235 as my adult high. (In high school, I think I was probably closer to 250, but I refused to weigh myself or pay attention to any of it).

I've never *looked* like I weigh as much as I do, which is a double-edged sword because I haven't gotten a lot of external pressure to get healthy. Internal pressure though- that's always been massive. I'll get super serious, create a grand plan (I'm a huge planner) and either never execute that plan or give up after a month. A lot of it will build around occasions - "I'm going to get in shape for this big vacation! I'm going to get in shape for this wedding! I'm going to get in shape for my birthday!" Nope...

I think much of it, if I can be a little introspective, is that I was embarrassed to be trying at all. I would never reach out to support, I'd never tell friends I was "dieting", the idea of any program with meetings terrified me (still does). If no one knows I'm doing it- then I'm the only person I can disappoint! (How profound... ).

So this time, *this time!*, I'm doing two things differently...
1) I'm not focused on dieting; I'm focused on health, fitness, eating clean. I'll choose a higher calorie fruit over a lower calorie hyper-processed cookie. (#eatrealfood) And I'm having fun with all this tracking my #eatrealfood adventures on instagram (instagram.com/kateofellis), really enjoying that community. Cooking, photography, it's all fun! And with the sneaky benefit of getting healthier. Yes, I want (and need) to lose weight, but the ultimate goal is health. The weight loss is just a way to achieve that.

2) I'm forcing myself into the community piece of it- hence me writing this post. Never done before, brave new world...

So I guess that's all I really have for now in the way of introductions. Woohoo!

On a slight tangent, I was reading through some of the "eat more, weigh less" threads earlier and agree with a lot of the sentiments there. Intellectually, it all makes sense, but emotionally, I understand that it's hard to push back the feeling that if you starve yourself you'll lose faster. Anyway, as the total planner, grapher, spreadsheeter, numbers nerd, I looked back at my own data and found a very clear correlation:
The morning after I ate 1300+ calories, I always lost weight. The morning after I ate <1300 calories, I lost nothing (or even gained a little).

I know, I know...there are lots of other factors- exercise, water retention, lady times, etc. But, at least to me, it helps my intellectual side get the edge over my emotional side. So if it helps anyone else, awesome. :-) So no more trying to " beat" my calorie goals, just trying to meet them.

Thanks! (And sorry for the long post!)

PS- I use FitBit and Withings if anyone wants to talk tech.

thegreatcanook

Good for you...you can do this. If you want some encouragement, add me!