So Depressed...
mamaisis09
Posts: 143
So, I am new to the forums, though I do lurk on occasion. Today I decided that I need the extra "support and motivation" therefore I am posting here. Here's a little history:
I joined the military at age 17 and weight 140 (height 5'5''). After 6 weeks of boot camp I had gained (yes I said GAINED) 10 lbs.
2 and a half years later I find myself married, happily, in the military and pregnant with my first child. I was 150lbs when I first got pregnant, the weight I had become comfortable with and maintained. I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy and gave birth at a whopping 190lbs (to a healthy little girl). 6 months later I was back down to 150lbs. That was in February 2010.
Over the end of the summer I began to have issues. Family issues, emotional issues and health issues. Not to mention my self esteem wasn't where it should have been. I still felt "fat" with my baby pouch (the one that goes from the belly button to the top of the panty line). I began to feel unhappy. In September I was disowned by my adoptive parents (who have been my only parents that I have ever known since I was 10 months old), I was experiencing excruciating pain from ovarian cysts. In October I was prescribed a different birth control (oral) for 3 months (though I still have the Implanon in my arm). So now I am on a double dose of BC (to fix the cysts), very emotional over my family and upset over my recent weight gain and ugly pouch. The last time I weighed in at the doctor's office (I never EVER weigh myself) I was 166lbs. The same weight that I was during my first trimester of pregnancy. I needed to take back control of my own body. I ordered HCG drops and began to diet (I have NEVER dieted). I am a very active person and in my opinion pretty fit (I usually get above 90 percent on our physical fitness tests for the military). But I am sick of how I look.
I am sure you all know what I mean when I say: The sit down rolls. I HATE HATE HATE my sit down belly, and my stand up belly. I feel ugly. I have been dieting for... 15 days (its a 26 day diet) and am down to 152 lbs. Unfortunately, over the past couple days, I keep going up and down with my weight. My husband and I have a Hawaii vacation planned for February and I feel dreadful about it. I mean imagine the sit down belly in a bikini. I'm SICK of dieting and taking a supplement but I don't know what else to do, I have never been able to lose weight, and I have lost some on this diet... But I'm still stuck above 150. I am just getting depressed. And my motivation is dropping. I feel like I'll never get there... Looking through some of these forums has helped to make me feel somewhat better, but I still feel like I'm doing something wrong, not doing enough. I am not sure. How I loathe the "sit down" belly.
I joined the military at age 17 and weight 140 (height 5'5''). After 6 weeks of boot camp I had gained (yes I said GAINED) 10 lbs.
2 and a half years later I find myself married, happily, in the military and pregnant with my first child. I was 150lbs when I first got pregnant, the weight I had become comfortable with and maintained. I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy and gave birth at a whopping 190lbs (to a healthy little girl). 6 months later I was back down to 150lbs. That was in February 2010.
Over the end of the summer I began to have issues. Family issues, emotional issues and health issues. Not to mention my self esteem wasn't where it should have been. I still felt "fat" with my baby pouch (the one that goes from the belly button to the top of the panty line). I began to feel unhappy. In September I was disowned by my adoptive parents (who have been my only parents that I have ever known since I was 10 months old), I was experiencing excruciating pain from ovarian cysts. In October I was prescribed a different birth control (oral) for 3 months (though I still have the Implanon in my arm). So now I am on a double dose of BC (to fix the cysts), very emotional over my family and upset over my recent weight gain and ugly pouch. The last time I weighed in at the doctor's office (I never EVER weigh myself) I was 166lbs. The same weight that I was during my first trimester of pregnancy. I needed to take back control of my own body. I ordered HCG drops and began to diet (I have NEVER dieted). I am a very active person and in my opinion pretty fit (I usually get above 90 percent on our physical fitness tests for the military). But I am sick of how I look.
I am sure you all know what I mean when I say: The sit down rolls. I HATE HATE HATE my sit down belly, and my stand up belly. I feel ugly. I have been dieting for... 15 days (its a 26 day diet) and am down to 152 lbs. Unfortunately, over the past couple days, I keep going up and down with my weight. My husband and I have a Hawaii vacation planned for February and I feel dreadful about it. I mean imagine the sit down belly in a bikini. I'm SICK of dieting and taking a supplement but I don't know what else to do, I have never been able to lose weight, and I have lost some on this diet... But I'm still stuck above 150. I am just getting depressed. And my motivation is dropping. I feel like I'll never get there... Looking through some of these forums has helped to make me feel somewhat better, but I still feel like I'm doing something wrong, not doing enough. I am not sure. How I loathe the "sit down" belly.
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Replies
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Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You have been having a super tough time but really don't have far to go weight-wise. Infact, ypu just got started and already have great results! It is normal for your weight to fluctuate a bit depending on fluid balance,etc. Since you don't usually diet and exercise you should be able to get dramatic results with just cutting calories and working out. You don't even need the hcg, so no need to take the supplements you don't want. You have time to lose at least 10lbs by februry, and with some strength training you CAN look fantastic in a bikini.
It sounds like you really are depressed, why not consider counseling since you have been having some horrible things happen
Also remember the sit down belly looks worse to you than anyone else because of the angle.
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I am so sorry for everythign you have gone through. I totally understand about being active, and having "the Belly" it's like ok I work my butt off why is this still here...I had been a very active although quite overweight person most of my life. But I think it was all the activity that stopped me from becoming very obese. Unfortunatly I hurt my back pretty bad at work and was no longer able to be active....my body responded terribly to this. I went from over weight to very obese in just under a year. Although I am very tall( 6'2") when I hit 300 lbs I knew enough was enough....I have tried everything, but for some reason calorie counting has finally worked for me. I have lost 125 lbs in just over 15 months and I did it with little to no excersize. I have shared this info with many people and they have been just as successful without excersize as well...if there's any questions you have please let me know...id be happy to help! Good Luck to you...and be positive...you can do it, and it will take time!0
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I'm sure you can do it if you can just get your head around a couple of things. The first and foremost, I believe (and this is only my uneducated opinion) is that weight loss is always made more difficult when your are battling hormonal issues. The fact that you are having to take so much medication and the cysts themselves are knocking you way out of whack.
The other thing is you are depressed. I can totally see why. That doesn't mean you need a shrink or more meds, it just means you should admit that it is a problem and take it on as something you need to work your way out of.
You appear to be one of the toughest people I have run into. If you are capable of the strength and exercise parameters set by a military fitness test all you need to do is take a hold of yourself and limit your calories enough to let all that exercise take effect. The big problem with exercising a lot is that you feel hungry and unless you are seriously tracking your calories it is easy to go over because it is normal to think that you can stand the calories because of all your exercise.
You can do it. You are disciplined enough to succeed. You just need to get all the ducks in a row.
Good luck, but you don't really need that. You are almost there!0 -
There is no quick fix, but all things worth having are worth the struggle including a healthy sexy body. I'm new to this and haven't lost anything yet, but just joining, seeing a visual representation of my calorie intake and seeing how supportive everyone is has given me more motivation than I've been able to gain on my own. You can do it! If you need positive encouragement you are in the right place and if you want to talk let me know.0
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Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You have been having a super tough time but really don't have far to go weight-wise. Infact, ypu just got started and already have great results! It is normal for your weight to fluctuate a bit depending on fluid balance,etc. Since you don't usually diet and exercise you should be able to get dramatic results with just cutting calories and working out. You don't even need the hcg, so no need to take the supplements you don't want. You have time to lose at least 10lbs by februry, and with some strength training you CAN look fantastic in a bikini.
It sounds like you really are depressed, why not consider counseling since you have been having some horrible things happen
Also remember the sit down belly looks worse to you than anyone else because of the angle.
I thought so too, with the angle, I had my hubs take a picture of it for me though, dreadful.
I work out a ton, at least I have since the pain from the cysts went away (about 3 weeks ago). I run, do P90X, elliptical, everything I can to stay active and tone. I suppose I am just a bit depressed. Trying to get over it though, thanks for the advice. I am considering stopping the supplement early, but I'm already over halfway there. Last day of HCG drops is on the 4th of December. Might as well tough it out I guess. Thanks again for the reply0 -
I am so sorry for everythign you have gone through. I totally understand about being active, and having "the Belly" it's like ok I work my butt off why is this still here...I had been a very active although quite overweight person most of my life. But I think it was all the activity that stopped me from becoming very obese. Unfortunatly I hurt my back pretty bad at work and was no longer able to be active....my body responded terribly to this. I went from over weight to very obese in just under a year. Although I am very tall( 6'2") when I hit 300 lbs I knew enough was enough....I have tried everything, but for some reason calorie counting has finally worked for me. I have lost 125 lbs in just over 15 months and I did it with little to no excersize. I have shared this info with many people and they have been just as successful without excersize as well...if there's any questions you have please let me know...id be happy to help! Good Luck to you...and be positive...you can do it, and it will take time!
Your weight loss is amazing and definitely inspiring, thank you for responding!!! Calorie counting sounded daunting and no fun, but it really isn't bad at all. Thanks so much!0 -
I'm sure you can do it if you can just get your head around a couple of things. The first and foremost, I believe (and this is only my uneducated opinion) is that weight loss is always made more difficult when your are battling hormonal issues. The fact that you are having to take so much medication and the cysts themselves are knocking you way out of whack.
The other thing is you are depressed. I can totally see why. That doesn't mean you need a shrink or more meds, it just means you should admit that it is a problem and take it on as something you need to work your way out of.
You appear to be one of the toughest people I have run into. If you are capable of the strength and exercise parameters set by a military fitness test all you need to do is take a hold of yourself and limit your calories enough to let all that exercise take effect. The big problem with exercising a lot is that you feel hungry and unless you are seriously tracking your calories it is easy to go over because it is normal to think that you can stand the calories because of all your exercise.
You can do it. You are disciplined enough to succeed. You just need to get all the ducks in a row.
Good luck, but you don't really need that. You are almost there!
I'm considering seeking counseling over some of these issues I've been having (I can admit my family issues and even my emotional ones, but my control and anxiety issues are another matter entirely), and mid December they should be taking out the Implanon so that should help too. I agree, hormones cause weight issues!0 -
I'm sure you can do it if you can just get your head around a couple of things. The first and foremost, I believe (and this is only my uneducated opinion) is that weight loss is always made more difficult when your are battling hormonal issues. The fact that you are having to take so much medication and the cysts themselves are knocking you way out of whack.
The other thing is you are depressed. I can totally see why. That doesn't mean you need a shrink or more meds, it just means you should admit that it is a problem and take it on as something you need to work your way out of.
You appear to be one of the toughest people I have run into. If you are capable of the strength and exercise parameters set by a military fitness test all you need to do is take a hold of yourself and limit your calories enough to let all that exercise take effect. The big problem with exercising a lot is that you feel hungry and unless you are seriously tracking your calories it is easy to go over because it is normal to think that you can stand the calories because of all your exercise.
You can do it. You are disciplined enough to succeed. You just need to get all the ducks in a row.
Good luck, but you don't really need that. You are almost there!
I'm considering seeking counseling over some of these issues I've been having (I can admit my family issues and even my emotional ones, but my control and anxiety issues are another matter entirely), and mid December they should be taking out the Implanon so that should help too. I agree, hormones cause weight issues!0 -
I am so sorry for everythign you have gone through. I totally understand about being active, and having "the Belly" it's like ok I work my butt off why is this still here...I had been a very active although quite overweight person most of my life. But I think it was all the activity that stopped me from becoming very obese. Unfortunatly I hurt my back pretty bad at work and was no longer able to be active....my body responded terribly to this. I went from over weight to very obese in just under a year. Although I am very tall( 6'2") when I hit 300 lbs I knew enough was enough....I have tried everything, but for some reason calorie counting has finally worked for me. I have lost 125 lbs in just over 15 months and I did it with little to no excersize. I have shared this info with many people and they have been just as successful without excersize as well...if there's any questions you have please let me know...id be happy to help! Good Luck to you...and be positive...you can do it, and it will take time!
you are very welcome, and I know at first calorie counting seems no fun but trust me once you get the hang of it you will learn how to add the bad stuff into your calories once in a while so it wont seem like your on a diet all the time. Feel free to add me or ask any questions about meal plans...I would like to help anyone I can cause I know how tough this battle is=)
Your weight loss is amazing and definitely inspiring, thank you for responding!!! Calorie counting sounded daunting and no fun, but it really isn't bad at all. Thanks so much!0 -
Does your doctor know you are taking those HCG drops? I don't know much about them but I've been an RN for over 15 years and seen first hand how difficult any hormone regulation is. I would strongly recommend you speak to a doctor to find out if they are complicating you ovarian issue. Best wishes for you and your family.0
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First of all hugs...because life can be tough and I know how the military can be. Second of all, ITA with counseling because losing weight is NOT going to change everything else in your life, it will only change the physical part. Third, you just started! Give it a little time, it has taken me TWO months to go from 249 to 239...that's only 5 lbs a month! I was going crazy at first but now I know that anything worth having is worth working long and hard at...and a healthier ME is worth having. Finally, hormones are a B*TCH, there I said it, between the two birth controls and the HCG, your body is probably in hormone overload and I believe once you get off of all that and get down to calorie counting, and cut out some stress you WILL see some results. Hey, you came to the right place, we got your back.0
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Thanks so much!!! I appreciate the support, after all of this and a trip to the doctor for the beginning of an anxiety disorder I am now off of the HCG drops and simply counting calories and avoiding junk foods. I have set some mini goals for myself and am working hard towards loving my body. I am still a bit depressed over some of this but I refuse to post anything more on this thread, from now on posistive thinking. No more "so depressed", at least thats what I am shooting for.0
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Way to go! :happy:0
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