I am soooo upset with myself right now

I really need to start being firm with myself. I keep saying this and it doesn't happen a lot of the time. I went to Bertucci's last night. We got a big bowl of salad to share between the three of us and I portioned a smaller amount. Not bad. I had a slice of pizza. Still not bad. At this point I knew I was satisfied. I knew this! I didn't stop. I had another slice of pizza. THEN I had dessert - tiramisu. Why? Why do I do this to myself. Especially with the dessert.

I know it's about moderation and I know I can't undo what I did so I just have to start fresh today, but this has been happening too much which is slowing my progress. It's like in the back of my mind I tell myself I should eat desserts like that when going out because I don't when will be the next time I can have it again, which is the stupidest thing to think (then I thought, isn't this how an addict would think?). We live in an area where food shortage is not a problem! Also, I noticed I'm more likely to overdo it if others are overdoing it...almost like "well if they're having that I don't want to be left out". Stupid right?

I really need to go back to the way I used to be when I was younger. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied and had the occasional treat, but didn't overdo it. What's worse is I know this and I've been telling myself this for years and it's still a struggle. I just need to give myself a swift kick in the butt!
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Replies

  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    its 1 meal , that is all 1 meal on one day , no big deal,
    slow down enjoy the company and do not make it about the food ...

    other strategies,
    eat slower and smaller "servings" you know ,
    take that portion of salad,
    eat half
    see how Sarah is doing with the new promotion,
    eat the other half,
    chat for a bit ,
    talk about your work , etc,
    then that one slice of pizza cut in half ,
    eat half now
    and in 5 minutes after Shondras newest love life update,
    then eat the other half,...
  • LSinVA
    LSinVA Posts: 60 Member
    It's okay. It was one meal and you learned something valuable from it. Changing these habits takes some time. We've all had a couple of hiccups here and there but really, one day out of many is not bad.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    This is really great advise and is kind of what I did. It was my mom, our friend, my son, and I. I didn't eat too fast because I would break to feed him or help him with his stickers. This helped for me to feel satisfied early, so I'm just upset that I recognized this and didn't stop eating. When I looked back at patterns I noticed I do this a lot so that's why I'm upset now. If it was just this one meal it wouldn't be a big deal.

    But you are right-I did enjoy the company and that's how I should do things going forward. I just need to start listening to my body more and I think I'll do better. Today is a new day I just needed to rant.

    Thank you for your support :flowerforyou:
  • jakicooke
    jakicooke Posts: 149 Member
    whoa its just the one meal on one day - clean sheet today so start again.

    you will have meals/days like that and its about not letting that continue into the next day/meal.

    you can log it and say what the heck its one meal in my week the rest i'll eat clean and stick to my allowance or you could even try and make back some of calories by working out extra/cutting back SLIGHTLY for the rest of the week.

    its about not letting it snowball into ive messed up one meal so I might as well forget this week.

    if I am eating out with friends I will always try and find out where we plan to eat or even try and influence the choice so that I can look at the menu (lots of places even publish the calories/nutritional value of their meals) and I make the choice of what I am going to eat before I arrive then I don't have to look at the menu when im in a relaxed environment where others choices might influence me and I always try and refuse desert (it doesn't always work ha ha)
  • jobean12
    jobean12 Posts: 99 Member
    Great advice all! Thank you. I am in the same exact boat and bad habits. FIghting so hard to change my mind set. I know better. Problem is I don't follow through....... :(
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Yea its tough and it sucks..Its only one meal so its easy to dust yourself off..unless it becomes one meal today and one meal tommorw and so on and so on....its definitly a struggle..

    One method ive employed when going out is asking for a box right at the start of the meal, then boxing up half the plate right away. If its reduced and I want dessert then its not as big an impact...
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    I know better. Problem is I don't follow through....... :(

    Yes, this is exactly what I'm going through.

    I am definitely going to start fresh today.

    Also, I like the idea of boxing up the portion before the meal and I might start doing that. I always have enough left that I do box up after the meal, but I might not be boxing up as much as if I did it before.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    I have no willpower when it comes to dessert, and even when I have a healthier entree... it just ruins it. I'm at the point where I dread eating out because I know I'll struggle with resisting dessert. It sucks!

    But I'm that way and I've still managed to lose a lot of weight... it's ok. You can do it too. A few days of overeating won't make a huge difference.
  • GummyBears7779
    GummyBears7779 Posts: 35 Member
    That doesnt really matter, i feel kinda bad about what i ate today and had no idea what was actually in the food or the calorie content. Its a one off, its not gonna kill you.
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
    I would have had a larger portion of salad, one piece of pizza, and then half the dessert. You can't deprive yourself all the time but practice moderation.
    Boxing things ahead of time sounds like a great idea! I had a piece of pie the first day I used this app. 645 calories and a ton of cholesterol. Managed to learn from that the next time I was faced with similar pie I cut it in half and didn't look back. (**Second pie was homemade and given to us as a gift so sat in the fridge till someone else ate it)
  • D_squareG
    D_squareG Posts: 361 Member
    I think what the OP is saying is that it isn't a one off. That she is struggling with this on a regular basis. I know that I'm having trouble myself. I've lost about the same amount of weight, starting to feel a little more comfortable, and am giving myself permission too often. Going over my calories doesn't seem to matter, it is just a little bit. I know it is a slippery slope, but how have the rest of you worked through it and regained your discipline?
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    I think what the OP is saying is that it isn't a one off. That she is struggling with this on a regular basis. I know that I'm having trouble myself. I've lost about the same amount of weight, starting to feel a little more comfortable, and am giving myself permission too often. Going over my calories doesn't seem to matter, it is just a little bit. I know it is a slippery slope, but how have the rest of you worked through it and regained your discipline?

    You hit the nail on the head. This is what I'm struggling with. Yes regaining discipline is what I have to do. I have to...and that's that.

    There is great advise in this forum and I'm thankful for everyone's advice and support.

    Edited to correct
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I think what the OP is saying is that it isn't a one off. That she is struggling with this on a regular basis. I know that I'm having trouble myself. I've lost about the same amount of weight, starting to feel a little more comfortable, and am giving myself permission too often. Going over my calories doesn't seem to matter, it is just a little bit. I know it is a slippery slope, but how have the rest of you worked through it and regained your discipline?
    This is important. The OP says it keeps happening. And I know she knows that if she doesn't figure out why, and what to do about it, it will happen after she finishes losing, which decreases her chances of maintaining, which is the real goal.

    OP: I don't have the magic answer. For me it was deciding that I didn't want to eat the foods that would hinder my loss and then not eating those (because I had a hard time limiting them) except for special occasions. Both white bread pizza and desserts are in that category for me. I know this is not the way most folks on MFP approach things, but it's what has worked for me for many years. I'd be ordering the big salad, and maybe a couple of sausages or some other side dish and eating those except on rare occasions. Even then, the pizza would be at a small local restaurant that offers whole grain pizza. They key is figuring out what works for you.

    If it interests you, Darya Pino Rose has a book called Foodist (dumb title) where she talks a lot about how to build new habits and new relationships with food and how to stop dieting in the traditional sense. She's got some good suggestions in there about mindful eating. Good luck!
  • hmroebuck
    hmroebuck Posts: 64 Member
    Right now, come up with logical responses to those sabotaging thoughts. Decide what you will say to yourself next time you are considering that 2nd piece of pizza. Remind yourself that it's not "just this once". Because the more times you cave now the more you will cave in the future. It will just escalate. And every bite does indeed count. It only takes an extra 10 calories a day to gain a pound a year! When you feel deprived by not having the dessert, remind yourself all the other things you are depriving yourself of (goals, self esteem, time that will need to be sacrificed for more exercise...) by caving in and eating something you know you don't need.

    You know it's not the end of the world. Hang in there! You'll get it figured out. :)
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    For me, it's come down to 2 things

    - I have a blanket rule where I just don't eat some things except if I make them myself and for special occasions (think, Christmas or my daughter's birthday). This is things like desserts and nibbles/snacks. Even then, because I make them myself I can make them healthier and smaller portions.
    - It's all about practice. The first time I said "no" to the pizza/cake/donuts at the office I got raised eyebrows, lots of "are you sure?" and I felt under pressure to just give in because it was just this once after all.. BUT, it gets easier every single time I say no and now I don't have to think about it, because it doesn't enter my head to eat it. It's become a habit, really has nothing to do with willpower any more and is just what I do.

    Finally, don't beat yourself up! We're all human and depriving ourselves is not a natural thing for a human to do. We're trying to cheat nature.
  • blb85
    blb85 Posts: 187 Member
    This thread is EXACTLY what I need! I am in the same position as the OP! I am having the most difficult time losing any weight because of the eating out! I KNOW to really lose weight, we need to minimize our eating out; but in my life, it's just not a realistic thing. I live in Chicago, surrounded by awesome eats and drinks; and social hours take place at these amazing places. I'm not going to deprive myself of socializing because I'm wanting to lose weight. But I seem to have an issue of not making the best choices when I am out. It's super depressing since I'm not losing any weight, just maintaining...
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    Right now, come up with logical responses to those sabotaging thoughts. Decide what you will say to yourself next time you are considering that 2nd piece of pizza. Remind yourself that it's not "just this once". Because the more times you cave now the more you will cave in the future. It will just escalate. And every bite does indeed count. It only takes an extra 10 calories a day to gain a pound a year! When you feel deprived by not having the dessert, remind yourself all the other things you are depriving yourself of (goals, self esteem, time that will need to be sacrificed for more exercise...) by caving in and eating something you know you don't need.

    You know it's not the end of the world. Hang in there! You'll get it figured out. :)

    Thank you! This post really helped me. I think this is what I need to do...switch my thinking. I'm always asking myself do I need it and the answer is no. Then I say I want it, but now I need to tell myself (not ask but tell) what I want more and that is to lose weight and be healthy.

    I need to go back to what I did before to lose weight. If I wanted something desert like I would have something like a cup of mandarin oranges with a serving of whipped cream, or jello cups. Something portioned and manageable. I would only have cakes and stuff on special occasions.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    For me, it's come down to 2 things

    - I have a blanket rule where I just don't eat some things except if I make them myself and for special occasions (think, Christmas or my daughter's birthday). This is things like desserts and nibbles/snacks. Even then, because I make them myself I can make them healthier and smaller portions.
    - It's all about practice. The first time I said "no" to the pizza/cake/donuts at the office I got raised eyebrows, lots of "are you sure?" and I felt under pressure to just give in because it was just this once after all.. BUT, it gets easier every single time I say no and now I don't have to think about it, because it doesn't enter my head to eat it. It's become a habit, really has nothing to do with willpower any more and is just what I do.

    Finally, don't beat yourself up! We're all human and depriving ourselves is not a natural thing for a human to do. We're trying to cheat nature.

    I think I am going to start having to do this. Especially if I'm noticing that I don't have as much self control as I thought I had.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    Here's the email I just sent to my mom about last night's dinner (she was with me and she too is struggling to lose weight)..

    "So I’m at lunch break and decided to look at Bertucci’s menu to see how many calories are in the pizza since I’m going to have a slice for dinner. According to their website, one slice of the large pizza has 340 calories – PER SLICE! Yeah…

    Oh and the Tiramisu has only 260 calories and I didn’t eat the whole thing. I’m surprised that it has that few calories and even more surprised that it has less calories than a slice of the pizza. Just goes to show you…

    Next time we go out to eat I’m going to look at the calories ahead of time to make better decisions about what I’m eating. Especially now that I have a phone with reliable internet there’s no reason I can’t check out the nutritional info ahead of time. If I plan it out in advanced I’ll make better decisions. I noticed that helped before…if Randy and I planned out going out to say Carabba’s, I would log the calories ahead of time and if it was more than what I wanted to eat I would either figure out what to eat less of or look at another food option."

    On the ride home last night we were like "yeah if the pizza has about 200 calories per slice and yadda yadda...". I even said to my mom that's IF it's only around 200 a slice and she said don't make it worse than what it is...but it was worse than we thought.

    I just need to go back to pre-logging before going to restaurants like I did before. People thought I was being to obsessive about calories, but it's just good common sense and it helped me from grossly overeating.
  • sjmoran
    sjmoran Posts: 31 Member
    I really need to start being firm with myself. I keep saying this and it doesn't happen a lot of the time. I went to Bertucci's last night. We got a big bowl of salad to share between the three of us and I portioned a smaller amount. Not bad. I had a slice of pizza. Still not bad. At this point I knew I was satisfied. I knew this! I didn't stop. I had another slice of pizza. THEN I had dessert - tiramisu. Why? Why do I do this to myself. Especially with the dessert.

    I know it's about moderation and I know I can't undo what I did so I just have to start fresh today, but this has been happening too much which is slowing my progress. It's like in the back of my mind I tell myself I should eat desserts like that when going out because I don't when will be the next time I can have it again, which is the stupidest thing to think (then I thought, isn't this how an addict would think?). We live in an area where food shortage is not a problem! Also, I noticed I'm more likely to overdo it if others are overdoing it...almost like "well if they're having that I don't want to be left out". Stupid right?

    I really need to go back to the way I used to be when I was younger. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied and had the occasional treat, but didn't overdo it. What's worse is I know this and I've been telling myself this for years and it's still a struggle. I just need to give myself a swift kick in the butt!

    Oh my, I understand your frustration. It seems like every time I hang out with my aunts and cousins they want to get ice cream or cookies and it is soooo hard to turn them down (especially the cookies) when everyone else is eating them. I haven't been able to say no to them yet but I do try for an extra workout to try to battle the extra sugar and calories but I would like to be at a place where I can pass or at least only have one. It's tough and I guess it just takes time and diligence?