YummyMummy Not so much....

Thedutchesss

People say: 9 months on, 9 months off. Don't worry, slowly and steadily all will be allright.
How the heck did I manage to gain weight in those 9 months off! Am I the only one?

I was so heavy after my first, but breatfeeding did it all for me and soon I could fit in my working clothes again and be a part of society without wearing my sweatpants every single day.
Then, too soon afterwards, I got preggers again. This time I did not breastfeed and look what happened! I gained weight iso losing it, like all the midwives and nurses and well meaning family members promised.....

The first time I noticed, somebody filmed my 2yo on a kiddy train ride, and when it was over, during the last 10 seconds of the video, you see me (whale size) moving in and taking him out of the train. I saw myself and was ready to weep. For a split second I even thought: who is that?
Then when I complained to my mum about it whilst eating my way through a chocolate cake cause I was feeling so sorry for myself, she said: yeah, sometimes I wonder whether you are still pregnant. I almost choked on my chocolate cake and could not image this to be a normal response. Drowning myself in calorie fuelled alcoholic drinks that evening I complained about it to my partner who said: Well let's face it, you will never be the slimmest mum at the schoolgate.

That's it. I am not going for a size 0. I don't strive to be the next Victoria Beckham. But I do not want to be the embaressment to my kids, who will pretend to be adopted since they are so ashamed of me.
No I will this time make it. I am 170cm, and will strive for those 75 kg, even if it means no chocolate and no alcohol for a year!

brianpperkins

Then when I complained to my mum about it whilst eating my way through a chocolate cake cause I was feeling so sorry for myself, ... Drowning myself in calorie fuelled alcoholic drinks that evening ...

Snipped and bolded to highlight where the issue lies. There is nothing wrong with cake or adult beverages .... in moderation. Going off the deep end is counterproductive. If you use MFP's system or choose to go with Scooby, IIFYM, etc doesn't matter. They are all based on a simple concept of calculating your current caloric requirement to maintain your weight, setting a sensible deficit, then eating at that deficit to lose weight. It isn't about getting overly restrictive and eliminating entire categories of food. It is about moderation and requires discipline.

dopeysmelly

Took me 8 years to do something meaningful about the weight I put on while pregnant. I breastfed for ages and it made not one iota of difference to my weight, and then life/job/lack of sleep/business travel/whatever got in the way.

You're waaayyyy ahead of me!!

Thedutchesss

Brian Perkins, Ha. I do know that. This was before I decided to do something about it. But if you like to be filospohical about it..... I think in the western world we concentrate too much on the relation between emotions and food. Bdays are celebrated with candy and bday cakes. Haloween with candy, eastern with chocolate, turkey for that american day I forgot, then xmas with pretty much chocolate, candy and the turkey and god knows what else. So yeah, I kind of have to let this go which is what I am doing now. Month one: 5 kilo's down. Feeling pretty good with myself and even understanding the comments that were made

RodaRose

The best thing you can do for your kids is change the connection of holidays with food. B-days can be active days. Easter can be something other than chocolate and candy.

SezxyStef

<snip>
even if it means no chocolate and no alcohol for a year!

That is not necessary...

I really wish I had done this right after my son was born..but no I had to wait for 19 years..yo yoing the entire time...

You don't have to give up anything...just eat in a reasonable calorie deficit...log consistently and accurately...

BombshellPhoenix

The best thing you can do for your kids is change the connection of holidays with food. B-days can be active days. Easter can be something other than chocolate and candy.

Really? I mean, holidays are how many days out of an entire year?

I'm not going to mess up my kid by putting petty labels on foods just because I made mistakes and overindulged. What's a kid going to assume when mommy and daddy are making them not eat cake with their friends at birthday parties or abstaining from a few chocolates? Should their be limits? Absolutely.

These foods didn't make us fat.

We did.

A healthy relationship with food is one that includes all foods in our diet and realizing that one food did NOT cause weight gain. It was simple over consumption. A healthy diet can include all those things. Again, it means learning how to moderate and fit those things into our day but it certainly can be done.

OP, I did the same thing with my first child. I gained after and then stayed 50 lbs overweight for almost a year. I then went down a path of demonizing foods because I was angry and so disappointed in myself for letting it happen. I cut out a ton of foods, I ate very little. I over exercised. I gave up. Maintained about a 40 lb loss until I got pregnant again.

This time was different. After my 6 week postpartum check up, I started my fail super restrictive eating. Then, I found the forums. These links saved me from the same mistake I had made before

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here 
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants 
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide 

The biggest thing for me, that made all the difference was changing from within. Focusing on inner change and learning sustainable habits. I found an exercise I enjoyed, rather than loathed. And I spent 9 months learning to love myself through the changes. I've lost 53 lbs this way and I know you can, too OP. Take this slow. Make mistakes but don't give up. Successful people don't always succeed, they understand the process requires them to stumble. Successful people always get back up.

Thedutchesss

Hi Bombshell. The things I mentioned were just examples. It goes from candy in the class whenever it's someone's bday to a hot chocolate after swimming class. From going out for dinner when mummy and daddy have something to celebrate to choosing what you want for dinner on your birthday. These days, everything is celebrated with food. The funny thing is, when I went to Africa (call it shortage of food, but even in the houses where there is no shortage of anything) I found that everything is celebrated there with money.
I found it soooo unpersonal and did not like it at all, but it must be one of the reasons my partner weighs 63 kg and I weighted 87
I think if you detach emotions from food, we are less likely to see food as anything else than a means to survival, which is how he described it.
I agree that I would never not let them have the candy at bdays (I know jehova's can't celebrate bdays and are therefore no allowed to take anything in class when others celebrate it and I always felt so sorry for them). But it is a community's perspective

Mr_Knight

The best thing you can do for your kids is change the connection of holidays with food. B-days can be active days.

Completely disagree.

The best thing you can do for your kids is give them good eating and exercise habits so that celebratory eating - which is a fundamental part of human socialization - doesn't become a problem.

He1loKitty

The best thing you can do for your kids is change the connection of holidays with food. B-days can be active days. Easter can be something other than chocolate and candy.

Completely disagree too. Let the holidays be filled with love, laughter, and yes food. The rest of the year can be the days we are active and mindful of our consumption. The best thing she can do is change the connection of dessert as a daily thing and reserve it for those special occasions.

dopeysmelly

The best thing you can do for your kids is change the connection of holidays with food. B-days can be active days.

Completely disagree.

The best thing you can do for your kids is give them good eating and exercise habits so that celebratory eating - which is a fundamental part of human socialization - doesn't become a problem.

I agree. I love celebrating with food, but it doesn't mean I'm stuffing my face. I love eating out at restaurants with fabulous food, but it's the people I'm with that make it special, and honestly, me skipping dessert most of the time makes no difference to how much I or anyone else enjoys themselves. Likewise, I love chocolate at Easter, Christmas cake, Thanksgiving turkey etc, but only because it's shared. I think emotional eating where you are seeking some sort of solace or comfort from eating is different.