Can you relate?

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Jim1960
Jim1960 Posts: 194
in Motivation and Support
Can you relate:

to breaking a chair when you sit on it?
being afraid to sit down at a friends house because you don't know if the furniture is strong enough?
not being able to tie your shoes without holding your breath?
ripping yet another shirt because you tied your shoes without unbuttoning it first?
seen the silent prayers of people afraid you have the seat next to them on an airplane?
losing the feeling in your feet after squeezing into that airplane seat?
having to tell the nurse that you're too big for the scale?
having arms too big for the BP cuff?
going to a theme park and spending all your time waiting as others go on the rides you don't fit on?
having your child tearfully appeal to you to lose weight because they don't want you to die?
needing to replace the seat in your car because you broke the metal joints?

I could go on. All of these things and more I've lived with for the last decade of my life. And in spite of them I still find it difficult to muster the motivation to keep going on this new way of eating; new way of living. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I don't want it. I did this to myself and sympathy would only make me feel more shame. But I could use some understanding. I could use some people to help me along the way who can relate.

Replies

  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    I was there! How about this...walking on a boardwalk on a private pond and having your foot break through a board and you fall in! Feel free to add me!
  • Jim1960
    Jim1960 Posts: 194
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    Oh yes, I can relate to that. I now have ears that are quite sensitive to the creaks and complaints of structures. One good thing - everyone always wanted me on their tug-of-war team!
  • ardysedwardsmcgrath
    ardysedwardsmcgrath Posts: 120 Member
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    I totally can relate!! wow.. ya been in those relates.. plane worrying if seat belt will fit w/o the extension,riding 1of the rides @a amusment park cuz im too fat.. :(,or bending over to tie shoes 1leg will but not the other.. be able to heal a leg&not have problems.. be able to go up&down steps without being out of breath..ya ive related to bout everything u have mention wow! I need to think of those wen wanting to binge or remembering y I want to lose..
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    No, I cannot relate to anything you listed but feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help you in any way, shape, or form. Don't focus on the negative. Focus on the positive and what the future can hold for you if you commit to losing weight and becoming healthy. I'm sure you have MANY great attributes. Don't let your weight define you.
  • Jim1960
    Jim1960 Posts: 194
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    No, I cannot relate to anything you listed but feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help you in any way, shape, or form. Don't focus on the negative. Focus on the positive and what the future can hold for you if you commit to losing weight and becoming healthy. I'm sure you have MANY great attributes. Don't let your weight define you.

    I don't feel sorry for myself. As I said, I don't want sympathy and I meant it. If anything I feel mad at myself. By and large I'm an optimist and as I often say to my friends and those I interact with "my default state is happy." And I am. The fact that I deal with these things that I listed does not mean that is all I think about 24/7. But I do run into them. On occasion they get me down. I have a tendency to avoid situations that present me with these situations. I have a tendency to avoid dealing with it. I need to be willing to say the things I did - which embarrasses me to do - because it is therapeutic to do so. I need to be able to say "I'm fat" - because if I don't I'll deny it to myself and sweep it under the rug yet again.
  • cuckoo_jenibeth
    cuckoo_jenibeth Posts: 1,434 Member
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    I admire your desire to get healthy for you & your family. Please add me as a friend, if you wish. I am just at 1 month on MFP & am down 15 pounds with a long way to go - 55 pounds at least! I am an every day logger & we can support one another!
    Best of health to you!
  • Jim1960
    Jim1960 Posts: 194
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    I admire your desire to get healthy for you & your family. Please add me as a friend, if you wish. I am just at 1 month on MFP & am down 15 pounds with a long way to go - 55 pounds at least! I am an every day logger & we can support one another!
    Best of health to you!

    Thanks for your encouraging words. My friend request is coming at you. All we need is a little bit of help from our friends <walks away singing>.... (I've been listening to some Beatles today)
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
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    Hi there!!!

    Oh Yes I can relate to many of the situations and their accompanying feelings of dismay, embarrassment and downright worry. I thought about adding in one of the 'smiley' icons.....but am having a difficult time figuring out which apply to the feelings I have gone through when I was at my biggest. I found, everyday, sometimes several times a day there were reminders (like I needed any) of the state my body was in.

    You are doing the very best you can to change this.....everyone is that uses MFP. At least it seems that way to me. Whether we are here simply to count calories so we know our daily intake and get the right Macros, whether we are trying to shed excess weight, maintain, gain, get buffed and shredded and keep striving for PR at lifting or running etc, we are all doing something that many, many people don't.

    So often it seems like humans go about their lives busily working, having families etc etc and there is a tendency to let our health come last. Maybe it's that part of human nature that gives us compassion and love.....whatever the reason, we DO deserve our own very best.

    Take heart, that these feelings will pass (hopefully). Everyday, every lb lost, every mile added (insert goal here), every achievement will displace these other not so nice feelings and you will be ever so proud of your accomplishments.

    All the best :flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
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    Wow, this was powerful and I completely empathize and understand. I have been here before myself Buddy. You will find your way. The best thing I can offer you is to NEVER give up and keep trying until you find something that works for you. If you give up you will never find your way. Losing weight is the hardest thing you can do and good for you for seeking help. My prayers are with you friend.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
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    Yes Sir, I can relate to:
    to breaking a chair when you sit on it?
    being afraid to sit down at a friends house because you don't know if the furniture is strong enough?
    seen the silent prayers of people afraid you have the seat next to them on an airplane?
    having to tell the nurse that you're too big for the scale?
    having arms too big for the BP cuff?
    going to a theme park and spending all your time waiting as others go on the rides you don't fit on?
    needing to replace the seat in your car because you broke the metal joints?

    Be strong and have the courage to keep pushing yourself so these things will not be a hinderance in your life.
  • He1loKitty
    He1loKitty Posts: 212 Member
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    I can't relate to the specific things you mentioned. However, I just wanted to let you know I admire your courage and effort to start the journey toward a healthier you. It's never too late to break old habits and form new ones. Keep going, even when you want to give up. You are not alone on mfp. :flowerforyou:

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