My Mom is Unhealthy?

MelodyandBarbells

My grandmother (my mom's mom) is in the hospital right now. She's sick and I told my mom that I hope it motivates her to lose weight and to take care of herself better. Yesterday, she told me I was right and we were going to take nightly walk (a little over a mile every day) around the park. We went for a walk yesterday and she felt great. I didn't go to the supermarket with her this time (I didn't even know she left) and she brought home sugary drinks (20 grams for a bottle...holy ****). How do I motivate her more?? Should I go return the drinks? I'm so frustrated and scared for her health. I'm in tears because every time she buys this **** she tells me "When you pay for the food, that's when you can buy what you want." Meanwhile, just yesterday she wanted to lose weight. How do I approach this situation???

She's an adult, leave her alone

If she asks for reading material or has questions for you, send her to the Sexy Pants post:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

jennifer_417

Unless she's diabetic, there's nothing wrong with sugary drinks, as long as she stays within a calorie deficit.

As for taking them back: How would you feel if someone came to your house and decided to take your groceries back to the store because they didn't like them? Your mother is a grown woman, you have no right to treat her otherwise.

Even if she does want to change, you can't control her, you can't expect her to do everything YOU define as healthy, and you can't expect her to be perfect overnight. Focus on small changes that she IS willing to make and go from there.

Cut the woman some slack. She's right, she buys the groceries and she's entitled to buy whatever she wants.


ETA: I am not unfeeling towards your situation. I learned all of the above the hard way. I know it's hard to watch your loved ones make bad choices, but you can't control what they do.

FatFreeFrolicking

Unfortunately, you can't lose weight and become healthy for her. She has to want it. Until she commits 100%, there's nothing you can do except lead by example.

I would continue to ask her to go on walks with you and maybe even cook a healthy dinner for the two of you a couple times a week.

oxers

My mom's diabetic. She's overweight, she doesn't check her sugars or watch her carbs, and it frightens me. Her mom had fourteen heart attacks and pacemaker. HER mother had cardiac problems all her life. It's a problem in my family.

But there's no changing a person or forcing them to do or be something different. I decided it was really important that I get in shape now and pay close attention to my cardiac health, started dropping weight and getting fit, and I've been so much happier and more vibrant and more prepared to deal with everything that she's asked to start coming to zumba with me. We make meals together and her habits are starting to change with mine. She's dropped like ten pounds, and I think we're both doing a lot better.

If you're working on yourself and happy and positive about your results, your loved ones are gonna want to get on bored. Forcing doesn't help. Success does.

LoupGarouTFTs

I think your heart is in the right place, but if your mother's mother is in the hospital right now, it's probably not the best time for her to be making significant lifestyle changes.

katatoniczka

I'd say educate her. Don't force her to use the knowledge, just give it to her. Personally when I found out all about calories and crappy food I simply couldn't eat bad anymore because suddenly I knew what I was doing to my body. Unfortunately I haven't been influenced for life but now I make better choices and I eat crap sometimes, not all the time :P Maybe she simply doesn't now there are THAT many calories in what she eats compared to how many she should be eating. I didn't know that.

Swiftlet66

My mom is a lot like this; I once confronted her on her eating habits and she flat out was in denial and said nothing was wrong despite her feeling sick, having extreme mood swings, and in constant pain. So, when I just decided to do my own thing like eating healthier and exercising, she started making some changes herself when she saw how much effort I put into getting in more shape. IMO, try to focus on yourself and get real results. Talk about your successes every now and then, invite others to do a healthy activity with you but don't force it, and people around you will notice and start to reconsider their own lifestyle habits. It's only been two months for me but during those two months, I've sneaked and unconsciously brought the idea of a more healthier lifestyle into both my family's and co-workers' heads; a few of them are making some simple changes too such as walking around more or even just eating a little bit different, a little healthier.

RHachicho

My grandmother (my mom's mom) is in the hospital right now. She's sick and I told my mom that I hope it motivates her to lose weight and to take care of herself better. Yesterday, she told me I was right and we were going to take nightly walk (a little over a mile every day) around the park. We went for a walk yesterday and she felt great. I didn't go to the supermarket with her this time (I didn't even know she left) and she brought home sugary drinks (20 grams for a bottle...holy ****). How do I motivate her more?? Should I go return the drinks? I'm so frustrated and scared for her health. I'm in tears because every time she buys this **** she tells me "When you pay for the food, that's when you can buy what you want." Meanwhile, just yesterday she wanted to lose weight. How do I approach this situation???

She's an adult, leave her alone

If she asks for reading material or has questions for you, send her to the Sexy Pants post:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

This, Annoys the hell out of me to see people trying to be the arbiter of everyone's choices. It's totally her decision whether to be unhealthy or not. I think anyone would safely assume she is well aware of the risks.

wizzybeth

I find that most people are either part of the choir with you, or they are annoyed by you when you harp on about food choices...

seltzermint555

I think your heart is in the right place, but if your mother's mother is in the hospital right now, it's probably not the best time for her to be making significant lifestyle changes.

I think this is a very good point.

Also, OP I don't mean any disrespect in saying this - it does sound like you know what you're doing and have a good healthy lifestyle started - but maybe advice is just not as effective coming from you. Your mom probably sees as her teenage daughter with no worries or responsibilities in the world. I am NOT saying you don't have both! But to her, that is a likely view on your "advice" and it's possible that she justifies her treats and sugary drinks with the mindset of "I'm the adult, I am a mom and daughter to a sick aging parent with the weight of the world on my shoulders - I deserve this!". Sad, but true.

RodaRose

Offer to go walking (or other exercise) with her. Leave her alone about the food.