give us a laugh !

Vivx

heyyy everyone ! im in work and so bored !
just seing if anyone had any funny stories they could share to cheer me up a bit !
it can be about anything x

iishnova

about 10 years ago my friends and I were in an AIM buddy chat session and discussing going to see a movie. My best friend then posts "::opens her wallet and a butterfly comes out saying "I'm free, I'm free!"::"
We still reference this when we are broke.

I have better but its the first that came to mind lol

Craig772

I just received an email about a low calorie tinned meat. I duly clicked on the click but it was SPAM.

pamp1emousse

Probably one of the best news stories I've ever seen

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Wallabies-On-Opium-Damaging-Poppy-Crops-In-Australia-Tasmania-Attorney-General-Lara-Giddings-Says/Article/200906415319584?lid=ARTICLE_15319584_WallabiesOnOpiumDamagingPoppyCropsInAustralia,TasmaniaAttorneyGeneralLaraGiddingsSays&lpos=searchresults

natsjh

I just received an email about a low calorie tinned meat. I duly clicked on the click but it was SPAM.

hahaha - love it

Vivx

I just received an email about a low calorie tinned meat. I duly clicked on the click but it was SPAM.

lmaooo ! x

MrsMills712

I'm a cake decorator, and had a customer order a "small wedding cake for her two love birds" the other day.
Yes, they were actually two birds; I got to see a picture. She was serious. A similar customer buys a cake for her dog each birthday.

Vivx

Probably one of the best news stories I've ever seen

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Wallabies-On-Opium-Damaging-Poppy-Crops-In-Australia-Tasmania-Attorney-General-Lara-Giddings-Says/Article/200906415319584?lid=ARTICLE_15319584_WallabiesOnOpiumDamagingPoppyCropsInAustralia,TasmaniaAttorneyGeneralLaraGiddingsSays&lpos=searchresults

u have just made my day lmaooooo !

Vivx

I'm a cake decorator, and had a customer order a "small wedding cake for her two love birds" the other day.
Yes, they were actually two birds; I got to see a picture. She was serious. A similar customer buys a cake for her dog each birthday.

ohhh dear lmaoo !
how did u keep serious id be rolling about laughing x

SoldierDad

I got in a fight with a raccoon yesterday... And my son once poopped in the liter box to "see what it felt like". lol

tmogs

lol too funny

MISTTIMG

On Second Thought.....



Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.


Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.


For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.


The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."


I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"



HAPPY THANKSGIVING : )

Vivx

lmaoooo ! thanks for this guys im laughin at my desk and my boss is staring at me like a ryt weirdo x

iishnova

My sister's favorite joke

Three men walked into a bar...
The fourth one ducked.

glfprncs2

This might be too much information, so here's your warning...it involves dogs and anal gland squeezing.


Young pupster, James, had to go to the vet on Monday for his annual physical and vaccinations. He's been licking his bottom for a week or so, so I figured his anal glands were full and needed to be expressed. I usually do this myself because the vet showed me how, but it's not such a pleasant thing to do. Imagine a very smelly brown liquid shooting out of the glands that line the dog's *kitten*.

Anyhow, I figured since he was going to the vet, I'd just let them figure out the butt licking. As I guessed, James' anal glands were full, so the vet tech took him to the 'back room' to take care of business (it can get a bit messy). As he was coming back up the hallway, I overheard the vet tech. say to another vet tech, "Yep...it's why I always wear brown scrubs." Poor guy...must been shot with the stuff.

The funny thing is that it reminded me of another story. My husband is a professional caddy and used to caddy at Augusta National (Master's Tournament). One year he was caddying and one of his fellow caddies was a retired Sgt. Major (I think Sgt. Maj.). He had to use the restroom mid-round, and there wasn't anything nearby. I guess the urge was quite pressing, so he traipsed off into the woods. At Augusta, they wear the same white caddy suits that they wear in the tournament. So, this guy drops his suit to his knees and squats in the woods. Little did he know, though, that the collar of his suit wasn't out of the way, and he literally pooped inside the collar of his suit. To make it even better, he then pulled the caddy suit back on, poo and all. He was literally COVERED in it. But wait...it gets better.

The next year, on opening day of the season, my husband is standing next to the Sgt. Major when the member they caddied for the previous year when the poo incident occurred came by. He said hi to my husband, and then looked at the Sgt. Major and said, "YOU! I figured they'd issue you a BROWN suit this year."

Anyhow...sorry if I grossed you out, but I thought both brown suit comments were pretty funny.

themostbeautifullies

This made my day. LOL

Craig772

I once saw a guy at the time go heavy on the hack squats and fill his pants. We all laughed.....