HELP!! Need help and support, can offer the same in return

gainingalife

Hello,

I have reached the end of my tether at my all-time highest weight of 88 kg. (164 cm, 23 y/o)

Three and a half years ago I ate under 400 calories a day, exercised hours a day and was around 50-52 kg (I now have no idea how I even did this!). I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder or anything like that and once I reached a low enough goal I just started eating normally again -- and slowly piled it all back on. In the last year it has been at its worst ; I have put on over 12 kgs as I become more depressed and hopeless about my weight and binge eat to the extreme. I have bouts of working out and eating well but I obviously have not been able to stick to this.

I am a working musician on the cusp of a career breakthrough, but I feel unattractive, overweight and therefore uncomfortable doing the things I need to be doing -- I recently did a video interview that left me feeling quite awful. I actually love working out and how good I feel when I do eat well but I don't really have any support system in place apart from a counsellor who I see every now and then.

My immediate family are all extremely overweight and wax and wane in terms of support. My friends are all wonderfully kind but I would be so happy if there was anybody out there in a similar boat to me that I could start some kind of supportive correspondence with -- I spend much of my time writing/programming music on the computer so I would always be available to respond to you if you were having a difficult day etc

This feels like a shout into the void but I feel like I'm barely living in this body I don't control or feel myself in -- help

atorina21

It's nice to meet you. One thing that has held me accountable and made me take control of my weight loss is using my food scale before eating as this helps me know how many calories I have consumed. What is your BMR? Find this out first....you need to eat at least at your bmr to avoid gaining weight. Then get a food scale and measure everything you put in your mouth. Convert grams to ounces online, if needed--it can be done. Look on the back of the food label and look at how many grams is one serving. Measure every ingredient and input it into your food diary so that you know what has been working for you in terms of inches lost/weight lost. If looking at the scale discourages you, just buy a soft tape measure and go by those numbers.

Try to cut out "culprits" that can creep up on you very easily--such as bread, soda, processed foods. This site has made me appreciate the real food and clean eating. Weighing my food has made me hold myself more accountable so that I don't make excuses anymore.

Once you get in the habit of weighing or at least know the nutritional content of the food you eat, the weight will eventually come off. If I am craving something sweet, for example, I eat something sugar free like pudding/jello--sugar free, or blueberries/apples are my go-to fruits as bananas are too sweet for my liking and actually make me hungrier.

Find out what your BMR is and eat at least that, and if not slightly more. Also find out what your TDEE is. I am sort of new to this too, but I have been making this site work for me and finally learned how to use a food scale properly and eat to my body's needs to not deprive myself of nutritious yet filling foods. If I crave something sweet I always make sure I have some sugar free snacks/low glycemic fruits around for emergency cravings.

Other foods that can help you feel full could be peanut butter, avocados, and more protein. There are more, but those are what come to mind when I eat my first meal of the day--peanut butter is high in calories and to me is very satiating (so eat it after breakfast, lunch, dinner).

Edit: I calculated your bmr and it seems like it is 1691. I see that you ate 1200 calories, is this what a typical day would be like for you? I think you should try at least 1600 calories and see if you feel better. I cannot function on 1200 calories--I tried it but mentally and physically it is draining. I was afraid of increasing my calories to 1700, but now I do not see it that way. You are giving your body the fuel it needs to burn off extra the extra "fuel" by "tricking" it in a way. I hope this helped you somewhat. P.S. if you do crave--for example--a cheeseburger I think that is fine as long as you stay within your calorie range. 1200 is generic, so your calorie goal should be adapted for your body/lifestyle.

gainingalife

Thank you!

I think I was scared of having my calories any higher but I think you may be right about raising them to around 1600 -- at this point I'm not sticking to 1200 anyway and if I go over that I tend to think "ive gone over so I may as well eat whatever for the rest of the day"

Raising the calories may give me the leeway i need to stop binging. Also, i love peanut butter! Will try adding a serving in here and there x