I have no will power - Suggestions?

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  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Are you sure it isn't just a case of being overwhelmed because there are so many new things to learn and change?

    The cliché goes "Rome wasn't built in a day" and it is very true for lifestyle changes, too. So you focus on what you can do today only, pick something easy enough like drinking enough water or logging one meal a day, then work on it until you feel confident it has become a habit; as natural to you as breathing.

    That is why it is called a lifestyle change and personally I'm in the camp that believes in learning as I go, paying attention to everything so I don't have to log until I die (because *that* thought gives me the freakout kind of reaction). Luckily we have brains that can remember just about endless amounts and I intend to trust my memory by learning in a mindful way.

    Once you have one healthy habit created, you pick the next one. Start small and like I already said, focus on today. This also means if you have one bad day, not everything will be ruined like some drama-queen types are posting here from time to time. Chill and regain control.

    You didn't become who you are today over night, so patience is needed when you reverse the "damage"; it can't come off overnight either.

    Read up on things, ask narrow questions and provide enough details in opening posts or people will inevitably misinterpret something. Use the search function to avoid stupid questions and/or questions that have been asked a million times before (yes, it is stupid to expect busy people to serve stuff on a silver plate).

    And as has been said earlier in the thread, be clear why you want this lifestyle change, what the pros and cons are. I'm quite sure the list of pros will be many more than the cons, but you need to convince yourself.

    Learn to block out possible crappy "support" from people around you. Stay focussed and do your thing. And seriously, take just one day at a time, it is all that you have anyway.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Two things.

    -Decision

    -Commitment

    This is a process. You don't just suddenly wake up the next day and it all magically worked, you know? First you decide. Then you commit to the process and do what it takes to make the changes, and you do it consistently. The more consistent you are, the better your results will be.

    There are some days you will do better than others, but if you stick to the process and don't give up, you will succeed.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    So it could very well be that you just don't care enough. That's certainly possible.

    But it could also be that your overall plan, and your environment, are too challenging for your resources. And if that's the case, it's possible that the issue is not whether or not you want it, but whether or not you know how to get it.

    ^Absolutely this.

    I have no willpower. I have a plan, and I've been able to implement it.

    BUT it took me 8 years after my daughter was born and I piled on the pounds before I was able to implement it, because I did not have the emotional or time resources to actually dedicate myself to success.

    Maybe just lurk around here for a bit, learn as much as you can about nutrition and fitness and make small changes until you are ready and your life is ready for you to do it.
  • DebTavares
    DebTavares Posts: 170 Member
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    Make it as easy as possible. 500 deficit and exercise that you enjoy. The more difficult you make, the less likely you are to stick to it and will likely dread it. Also avoid "I want to lose x pounds by x date" type of thinking.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    So it could very well be that you just don't care enough. That's certainly possible.

    But it could also be that your overall plan, and your environment, are too challenging for your resources. And if that's the case, it's possible that the issue is not whether or not you want it, but whether or not you know how to get it.

    ^Absolutely this.

    I have no willpower. I have a plan, and I've been able to implement it.

    BUT it took me 8 years after my daughter was born and I piled on the pounds before I was able to implement it, because I did not have the emotional or time resources to actually dedicate myself to success.

    Maybe just lurk around here for a bit, learn as much as you can about nutrition and fitness and make small changes until you are ready and your life is ready for you to do it.
    I already wrote quite a few points, but this makes me want to add a bit to it. Yes, one needs commitment, but it doesn't have to be a Huge Thing to start a lifestyle change. Every effort counts no matter how small it is; thirst rather than hunger?
    Slightly smaller portions.
    Use the stairs rather than take the elevator.
    Get enough sleep.
    If you drink a tonne of soda daily, challenge yourself to decrease the amount by half or so.
    Go for an evening walk for ten minutes, from which it is easy to start increasing it, if you haven't found some exercise you look forward to doing just yet.
    Identify possible emotional eating and start working on slowly connecting dealing with stress to exercising rather than eating.
    Ponder what is very important to you and what you might drop from your nutrition; work the non-negotiables into an approach of golden midway; extremes will never work.
    And so on.

    All the small but healthy decisions are valuable even when you might not feel like a force of nature yet.
  • ksaranya
    ksaranya Posts: 50
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    That is totally me-- a week ago!
    I have been on a yo-yo for 10 years almost. I know all the diets out there, I know wha tis healthy what is not, what to eat, what not to, how to workout, how much to workout. Everything.
    But I still couldnt do it and the weight loss was consuming me big time.

    So I was browsing for books on permanent weight loss and lo behold found the ultimate book - Thin Woman's Brain.
    Do check it out.
    The author states, you have only so much will power. When life gets busy will power is depleted by other things in your life hence diet goes awry. What we need to do is rewire our brains to eat less without thinking, without needing will power.
    I think it will work.
    Do check it out.
  • mspeckma
    mspeckma Posts: 8 Member
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    Make sure you don't let yourself get too hungry (snack on healthy stuff all day) AND don't get too thirsty (sometimes your body thinks you're hungry when you're really just thirsty). I like time-trackable water bottles. You can make your own with a sharpie or buy an existing one . I like this one http://hydr-8.com/ because it's insulated and marked with short term time goals. It has really helped me.

    If you get really hungry, you'll go for the fattening foods. You are able to have more "will-power" if you don't really feel that hungry in the first place, so snack on fresh veggies a lot.
  • dunlol
    dunlol Posts: 57 Member
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    Try intermittent fasting, eat all of your food at once so you don't have room for temptation. Keep yourself occupied during the day otherwise. If you can't, you should worry about mental deterioration before physical.
  • AceCC86
    AceCC86 Posts: 71
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    When I started out I really struggled with cravings. Hell, I still do, but definitely not as much as before.

    The first thing I did was stop buying junk food. I knew at first that I couldn't even have it in the house if I wanted to be successful. If you live with others and you can't get rid of the junk food in the house all together, stock your fridge and pantry up with healthy snacks so that you always have an option if you get a craving.

    Have some sorbet or frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. Have some pretzels or carrot sticks instead of Cheeto's. Have a glass of water instead of a ginger ale. All of these little things add up in a big way. You don't need to be hungry all of the time, you just need to make a bunch of little choices that will add up to something really big.

    The second thing I did was got moving. I feel like I'm less likely to binge on junk food if I worked really hard that day at the gym, or went for a great run, or worked on strength training. If I just busted my hump on the Elliptical Trainer for 45 minutes the last thing I want to do is undo all of that hard work.

    Good luck. You can do it. Get motivated, get moving and get rid of all of the temptations.
  • HappierMe1023
    HappierMe1023 Posts: 14 Member
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    There are two things that have helped me in this department. One is creating and embracing Sunday Funday. It's the one day a week I allow myself to go to brunch if I feel like it, have dessert after dinner, and pretty much just enjoy the food that I don't allow myself to during the week. I allow myself this one day regardless of if I have or have not lost weight that week. Even if I haven't lost weight I have been committed to eating right, meeting with my trainer, and getting my cardio in on my non trainer days. That in itself if deserving of my reward day.

    Secondly, I started working with a trainer about a month ago and I it has also helped me stick to my plan. I turn in a food log to the trainer each week. Having someone looking over my eating habits helps keep me accountable. Of course I could chow down on a bag of chips and just leave it out of my food log but why would I do that to myself? I'm paying good money for this trainer and I might as well be as honest as I can be. Not wanting to feel the embarrassment or let down of turning in a food log full of junk food helps me make better choices.

    I do tend to agree with a lot of the replies that say you aren't sticking to it because you aren't ready. I would venture to say that you just haven't found the right motivation for why you want to lose the weight. We are all motivated differently. I have a dog who will do just about anything I tell him if he knows there's a treat coming. He's food motivated. Growing up our family dog didn't perform commands any better knowing I would give her a treat. You have to find what motivates you before you will stick to it.
  • ZaCkOX
    ZaCkOX Posts: 115
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    Just one day I had enough. You can read my story. I was depressed for 10 years and then I hit exercise and diet to the extreme. Eventually the body does get it used to abuse. But to make it anywhere it requires a strong mental mind. You won't make any gains until you want the change deep from with-in. Even on my days if I think I'm getting tired, I ask myself, "Do you give up yet?" No I'm going to fight harder than I ever have, I want my life back and nothing will stop that.
  • stacynoell
    stacynoell Posts: 41 Member
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    Change takes time and if you need instant gratification, its going to be tough for you. You need to meet with someone, like a nutritionist. Have him/her help you set reasonable goals and also hold you accountable. Write your goals down and share them with a positive person who will remind and push, without talking down to you if you miss a goal. Change one to two things at a time and stick with the change(s) for at least 2 weeks. After a while, you will hold yourself accountable and you will like what you see and feel. It all counts- fewer pounds, fewer inches, better health, more energy, better fitting clothing, smaller size, fewer aches and pains, looking better naked, feeling more attractive. Everyone's goal is not the same. You have to tell yourself that the junk you eat is not more important that the goal you will meet! Good luck!
  • jodi414
    jodi414 Posts: 14
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    First off I'd like to say those of you leaving negative comments can keep them to yourself.
    I do not drink soda or many sweets at all. My problem is that I have I have 3 children (2 under 3) 2 step children full-time and a full time job with a husband who travels for work and is gone 60% of the time. I have a hard time finding the "will power" to take care of myself better. I go through stints where I work out regularly and eat well. I just dont seem to have the commitment to keep it going for a number of reasons.. My weight is consistent. I havent gained, but I havent lost since my last child. I dont expect to find some epiphany on this website.... looking for a little support and someone who had similiar issues.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    First off I'd like to say those of you leaving negative comments can keep them to yourself.
    I do not drink soda or many sweets at all. My problem is that I have I have 3 children (2 under 3) 2 step children full-time and a full time job with a husband who travels for work and is gone 60% of the time. I have a hard time finding the "will power" to take care of myself better. I go through stints where I work out regularly and eat well. I just dont seem to have the commitment to keep it going for a number of reasons.. My weight is consistent. I havent gained, but I havent lost since my last child. I dont expect to find some epiphany on this website.... looking for a little support.
    You've got to be kidding. What haters? Where?

    ETA
    OP edited the hater stuff out while I was replying.
  • jodi414
    jodi414 Posts: 14
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    ETA - I updated it to "negative comments"....not haters, thought the idea was to "support". I think there are supporting words and negative words. And if you disagree thats your opinion.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    ETA - I updated it to "negative comments"....not haters, thought the idea was to "support". I think there are supporting words and negative words. And if you disagree thats your opinion.
    I pride myself in my reading skills and have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Where do you see "negative comments"?
  • jodi414
    jodi414 Posts: 14
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    Since you pride yourself on your reading skills, I will type one more time for you...if you disagree that is your opinion. You can quote that too...
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I think the misunderstanding here was about "drinking too much soda" which I think Agalea used as a random example, but which the OP seems to have perceived as a criticism.

    I think this is merely a misunderstanding and I hope you can get past it to the other wonderful points made her in this thread.:flowerforyou:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Since you pride yourself on your reading skills, I will type one more time for you...if you disagree that is your opinion. You can quote that too...

    people on this website quote a lot. it's not meant to be an insult or throwing your words in your face. it's the norm only meant to clarify who people are replying to because these threads can get fast moving and hard to follow.:flowerforyou:
  • jodi414
    jodi414 Posts: 14
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    There were wonderful points made in this thread - you are correct. Guess I should've quoted which comments I was referring too....

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