Invited to a Pool Party--But I'm Not Ready Yet!!

malavika413

Hi, all.

I was recently invited to a pool party hosted by a friend from high school. I don't get out much, and especially during the summer, I only see my peers three or four times over the summer. It would be nice to see all my high school buddies again, and I've been yearning to get out of the house. But it's a pool party! All through high school I've gotten out of pool parties, or I show up in jeans and watch people's towels. The only swimsuit I own is this ugly grandma bathing suit with shorts attached, which I bought for my mandatory swimming class at college. The last time I wore a bathing suit in front of my friends I felt like dying, and now I've only lost a few pounds. Should I even go to this party? I don't want to be the towel-watcher again...

AsaThorsWoman

Go, have fun!

RheneeB

Listen........

I take it you are young and I understand completely (as a previous towell watcher) how you are feeling. But let me pose this question to you: If you were to die tomorrow, do you think people would stand around at your funeral and talk about what your legs looked like or what the size of your butt was or discuss the cellulite that you may have on the back of your thighs? NO...they will talk about who you were, what kind of an amazing friend you were. They will share stories about how you made them laugh or how you stayed up all night to let them cry on your shoulder. The people that "count" in your life don't care about how perfect your body may or may not be and the "other people".....why should you waste your time caring what they think?

I spent years and years of my life hiding what I thought was ugly about me. I am soon to be 50 and I have just finally learned to accept myself and just love the me I am, the me that has still 35 pounds to lose, the me that has cellulite, the me that has arms that wave unintentionally but you know what? The people that mean anything to me don't see any of that....if they do, they love me enough to not care!! I missed out on so much because I worried too much and I wish more than anything I could go back and change that. Last year I wore a bathing suit (2 piece none the less) to a beach and I challenged myself to walk down the beach holding my husband's hand instead of holding a big beach towell around me and IT WAS EMPOWERING!! I didn't catch one person laughing at me, pointing at me or giving me that "up and down look" with their mouth curled up. I was just another person on the beach in a bathing suit!!

Everyone has insecurities - some of us just have a harder time with them. Do me a favor and go to this pool party - join in on the fun and I guarentee people will be more interested in your smile than they will in how you look in your bathing suit!! Don't let your insecurities bind you like chains - from experience I can tell you freedom is better!

RheneeB

Just would like to add:

Go buy yourself a cute bathing suit!!

malavika413

Thank you for the encouragement! Since the party's this Saturday I don't have time to buy myself a new bathing suit, but I'll give the party some more thought.

RheneeB

You would be surprised....I had a Sunday School class pool party and needed something with more coverage. I searched everywhere and even ordered one piece bathing suits and tankinis on line...had to return everyone of them. The night before my pool party I ran up to walmart and bought a cute tankini that fit perfect!!

Worse case just wear a cute pair of shorts and tank top and be the crazy girl that just stopped in to say hi but "hey, while I am here.......SPLASH"!!!

amy8400

I know said you don't have time for shopping but I saw some really cute cover-ups at the stores recently. Maybe you could get one and wear it over your suit so you feel more comfortable. Even if you don't get in the pool, you've got something that looks like you're dressed for the event? That, some cute sandals and a wide brimmed hat and sunglasses...you'd be hot :glasses:

malavika413

Decided to attend the party! Mom even offered to take me swimsuit shopping on Friday. It should be really fun.

RheneeB

Just wanted to check in with you today and I am very proud of you for stepping out there and making that decision to go have fun and enjoy life!

Have a blast!!

leggup

Wear a cute sundress if you don't want to swim. If anyone asks why you aren't swimming, say that you don't want to, that's all. You won't face the Spanish Inquisition over this.

At pool parties it is very rare that every single person is in the pool at once.

verptwerp

I agree ....... you don't HAVE to go into the pool ..... wear a cute little outfit & mingle, mingle, mingle :drinker:

Lizzy622

I bought a really cute two piece with a slightly higher waist to hide my belly a bit. There are many cute suits out there. Plus if you get in the water and splash around you will be burning calories. Have fun.