A bright and shiny hello from Connecticut!

RamyunChi

Hello there. I'm a 25 year old female from CT. Call me Des. Nice too meet all of you! Here's a bit about myself!
I have always had an issue with my weight. My highest weight being 306+lbs at 5'5" five or 6 years ago, then getting down to 180 in less than a year. Ever since then it's been up and down. Last summer I actually went down from 240-ish to 165 with a low calorie diet and exercise. It was the best time of my life! I was feeling sexy and had everything going for me. Now I'm up to between 200 and 210 (haven't weighed myself in the last few days, but I know it's not good). I have had this dream from years ago of getting down to a really nice size (surprisingly now that I look at my pics from last year, that would have been the perfect weight) then getting a brachioplasy (arm lift) along with a breast augmentation and lift, and also a Brazilian butt lift! I have thought and researched for many years. All I need is to lose the weight again.....and save the money. lol I used to be a very fashionable girl. I loved make up, goth fashion even your typical girly look. Even though I had saggy boobs and arms, I was still hot imo. Now I'm not.....imo. I would love to get back to the weight I was last year, and if I can lose more, even better. I still need some fat so I can get my butt lift done though. HAHAHA I need some hardcore support. My boyfriend tries, but it just isn't the same because he's never been overweight like I have and doesn't get how important and intense it is for me. I get very depressed and now see a therapist basically just for my weight...Which isn't really helping I can start working out and eating right RIGHT now, it's just the simple fact that I need someone I can talk to when I start to get off of the wagon. People I can talk to on a daily basis and to reassure me that I can do it and I'm not a failure. I did it before and I know I can do it again, but once I get of track and have no one to help me, it's over. I may not do everything SUPER friggen healthy, but I know when I get started I feel physically good, mentally good and spiritually good. That is why I'm here. It's more of a need than a want, though I am extremely happy to meet all of you! I hope you enjoyed the read and hopefully there are people in my shoes that would like someone to talk to! I'm gonna go be a creeper on the site and get some motivation! Good night everyone~