Why do we stop caring?

Ferrous_Female_Dog

From what I can tell, this happens to many people. We get started on our goals, we're consistent, we feel good. We see results, it feeds our determination, we keep going.

Then something happens: Maybe it's a bad day at work, maybe its hormonal fluctuations (in the case of women), maybe it's laziness, maybe it's fear but something happens and we stop caring.

Zero ***** are given. Skip that work out, eat that pint of ice cream, dominate the entire pizza pie!

For me I think it's a combination of complacency, laziness that is at the core of my being, bad coping mechanism, and a fear of success.

Sometimes I think, "this is good enough" and I'll skip work outs and stop tracking for a few weeks.

Sometimes I think, "this is too much work" and I'll skip work outs and stop tracking for a few weeks.

Sometimes I'll have a bad day/week/month/event and I'll soothe myself by stuffing my face and withdrawing, meaning I'll skip work outs and stop tracking for a few weeks.

Sometimes people comment on my progress and I get scared. I think I will have to... keep it up to show face and I don't want that responsibility so I'll skip work outs and stop tracking for a few weeks.

Why does this happen to YOU?

Phatgirl420

I wish I had the answer, or someone else did. I am going through this right now as we speak...have been on a downward spiral since Friday evening, and cannot get my motivation back to where it was less than 1 week ago...I have given into a lot of cravings in these 5 days, and mentally, I am just not there right now...why????? Hope someone has an answer, or a way to get me back on track, and FAST

Leana93412

I get these feelings sometimes. If I had to choose a reason, it would be that I didn't do this for myself.
I was happy at my weight, okay maybe a bit self-conscious about it, and then I saw my sister. And she literally used to be a model. She still looks like one.

I've always dreamt of having a body like that and she gave me the motivation to start and even finish. But the point is, I wanted it, but I didn't and still don't want it ENOUGH. Because I'm doing it to look good for other people.

This is why I say "Ah the hell with it" sometimes.

SarahxApple

Unrealistic expectations and pressures - people don't actually 'stop caring' (or at least I don't believe they do), I think people get scared and anxious and food is an emotional trigger for many.

I watched a Jamie Oliver programme (years ago) the Ministry of Food and I will always remember the conversation he had with a woman on the show where she said that as she had got bigger, she ate more (which is a story people know too well) but he asked her has food replaced the people relationships in her life and she admitted it had. The reason I am highlighting this story is because I think people turn to food for a number of reasons (I know personally I enjoy the temporary sugar high from a doughnut if I feel down), other times I think it's because food is an easy and lazy thing to fall back on, it makes you feel good and you don't feel under pressure eating ice-cream.

On a sidenote I mostly workout in the morning (only one day a week I do afternoons) as there is much less chance of me blowing off a workout because I've had a bad day and however 'I don't feel like it' I felt once I've worked out I feel great and like I can truly get on with the day.

Just my tuppence worth

Ferrous_Female_Dog

If I had to choose a reason, it would be that I didn't do this for myself.

I think this is a HUGE reason. Often the external motivators aren't going to sustain us for long. It has to come from within. It's easy to SAY I'm doing this for me, but when the goal is to look good, that's for the benefit of others more than oneself.


Another point to make about this is that even when we are doing it for ourselves, if we have issues with self love or self worth, sometimes doing it for ourselves isn't enough.

We stop caring about our goals because we don't feel we're worth the effort or worthy of success.

BigT555

if your a freud fan, its the id vs the ego

the ego being the part of the brain that thinks through things logically, considering each consequence of each action, the id being the part that wants immediate reward for action with no consideration for consequence

its a constant battle between the two, eventually one comes out on top. in the case of a binge or something of that nature, the id takes precendence

eta; at least thats how i remember it from highschool ASP class

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Unrealistic expectations and pressures - people don't actually 'stop caring' (or at least I don't believe they do), I think people get scared and anxious and food is an emotional trigger for many.

True. Or they think (as stated in some thread I saw) that 2lbs/week is *slow* so what's the point if it's going to take forever.

I watched a Jamie Oliver programme (years ago) the Ministry of Food and I will always remember the conversation he had with a woman on the show where she said that as she had got bigger, she ate more (which is a story people know too well) but he asked her has food replaced the people relationships in her life and she admitted it had. The reason I am highlighting this story is because I think people turn to food for a number of reasons (I know personally I enjoy the temporary sugar high from a doughnut if I feel down), other times I think it's because food is an easy and lazy thing to fall back on, it makes you feel good and you don't feel under pressure eating ice-cream.

Emotional eating is a biiigg issue for a lot of us on this site. It's hard to find something that can replace those feelings of instant gratification.

cdahl383

I know exactly what you mean, the same thing happens to me all the time about every 6 months. I will be adamant about working out, eating healthy, counting calories, make really great progress, noticeable results, clothes fit better, etc and then for whatever reason I seem to become complacent and start slipping little by little. Eventually I'm right back where I started, eating junk food, eating too much, not working out at all, sitting on the couch after work, etc.

My wife on the other hand is always very consistent, never to either extreme, just marches along in the middle and stays healthy and maintains her weight. I really wish I could be more like her in that regard, but I seem to be more of an all or nothing type of person when it comes to fitness.

I think I'm an emotional eater as well which is hard to get over at times. We've had some pretty sad stuff happen to our family over the past year or so and I think that definitely contributed to me not caring for a while. But over the last couple weeks I've gotten re-motivated, so hopefully I can get back on track and whenever I start to falter I can get some motivation from you folks on here!

lavaughan69

I don't think for me that I stop caring, I just think I set up a false sense of security after awhile. It's more like a slippery slope where I miss a few days of logging and it doesn't seem to show up on the scale, so I think I can relax a little with the weighing and measuring, because after all, I've been doing this for over a year, I should be able to eye ball things by now. NOPE. Before you know it you're guesstimating everything, your fitness level goes down and you get on that scale, it's up a few pounds...you try to lie to yourself and say it's water weight...or you get frustrated and tell yourself there's no way you ate that much...then a few more pounds...then you're disgusted with your scale so you stop going on...and BAM!

I can't tell you how many times I've done that! I'm hoping to break the pattern this time around but already over the past couple weeks I have found myself skipping days. Maintenance is so much harder for me than the actual weight loss.

ninerbuff

My thought on it is that because health and fitness is ALL on the person doing it, what they look like, how they perform, how fast they are, etc. is ALL on them. No one can workout for you and you benefit from it. No one can eat for you and you benefit from it. So when one doesn't get the results from expectations set, then it's highly likely they will stop caring and go the easy route of NOT doing what it takes.
Failure is easy. Just stop trying. Success takes a lot of patience, time and effort and some don't have it. Not a knock against them, sometimes it's just how someone is wired.

A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

cdahl383

I don't think for me that I stop caring, I just think I set up a false sense of security after awhile. It's more like a slippery slope where I miss a few days of logging and it doesn't seem to show up on the scale, so I think I can relax a little with the weighing and measuring, because after all, I've been doing this for over a year, I should be able to eye ball things by now. NOPE. Before you know it you're guesstimating everything, your fitness level goes down and you get on that scale, it's up a few pounds...you try to lie to yourself and say it's water weight...or you get frustrated and tell yourself there's no way you ate that much...then a few more pounds...then you're disgusted with your scale so you stop going on...and BAM!

I can't tell you how many times I've done that! I'm hoping to break the pattern this time around but already over the past couple weeks I have found myself skipping days. Maintenance is so much harder for me than the actual weight loss.

Yep, sounds like me after 5-6 months of doing great. Starts off small, and before you know it you're almost back to where you started if you're not careful.

smantha32

It seems to coincide with weather for me.. I work out and eat right through most of the warm months but when it gets cold I just want to wrap up in a blanket and eat something. I always used to gain during the winter months until I found MFP.

Ferrous_Female_Dog

sometimes it's just how someone is wired.

Does that mean some people are doomed to fail no matter what? I don't think that's true.

DKLI

I think that some of us become impatient with the process because we have it in the back of our minds "I just want to finish losing weight so I can start eating what I want again". The quicker that happens, the quicker we fall back into the same, old habits.

dopeysmelly

I think sometimes it's very much a matter of emotions and feelings of guilt. Focusing on losing weight is essentially a selfish endeavor, and sometimes there is guilt attached to being selfish, because we have to make sure everyone else's needs are fulfilled first (even though we recognize that longer term looking after ourselves helps us look after others).

I'm approaching this totally from health. I couldn't care less what I look like, and I don't care what anyone else says about what I eat or how I'm going about this (apart from MFP friends, of course), so, for some reason, I've found the link between emotion and food has just gone for me. I've found it amazingly easy to not eat what I don't want to (yes, even cookies lying around in the kitchen).

Also, I think getting enough sleep is a huge issue, plus having a mainly positive life in other areas (work, family, friends, other interests). There's only so much motivation to go around.

Ferrous_Female_Dog

I think sometimes it's very much a matter of emotions and feelings of guilt. Focusing on losing weight is essentially a selfish endeavor, and sometimes there is guilt attached to being selfish, because we have to make sure everyone else's needs are fulfilled first (even though we recognize that longer term looking after ourselves helps us look after others).

That's a huge point I never considered, especially where making time for the gym, or turning down food at social functions is concerned. That can be exhausting.