losing my mind?!

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  • bluecat145
    bluecat145 Posts: 144 Member
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    That was very, very rude of her. Please do not let that get you down or stop you. Even of you only lost .2 lbs, that's still a difference. If you stop, you'll regret it later.
    Congrats on what you've done so far though!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    The main reason I didn't advertise that I was trying to lose weight was that I didn't want people to feel free to comment on my food/body/progress/lack of progress.

    Having said that, it still doesn't make what that woman did less that incredibly rude.
  • steveyinasia
    steveyinasia Posts: 121 Member
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    Patty, if you have lost 113 LBS to date, I think you are a rock star. People with less sensitivity(or sense really) would have no idea what you have achieve to date. So what if this looks like that and that looks like this, the truth is that you have done so much already and when you concentrate on that FACT, nothing really matters.
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
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    you guys are ALL terrific. honestly, just terrific. i appreciate everyone taking the time to reply and each suggestion absolutely helps.

    let's be honest, i have been heavy all of my life (though much lighter now :) ) and i have been bullied since i was a kid for it. i know that deep inside my brain, i believed that i would lose an insane amount of weight and my looks would no longer be what people noticed about me. wishful thinking, i am fully aware. but there was always that hope. but our socieiy is not going to change. i can be rail thin and people will focus on my curly hair. or my glasses. that is how we are programmed as humans, plain and simple.

    this woman was not trying to bully me - she is just not very smart. and i say that without malice. her comments are indicative of someone lacking proper communication skills. i don't hate her for it, instead i am going to use it as an opportunity to really focus on my emotional self.

    it is highly possible that her comment triggered the memory of all those years of being bullied. the anger that i have yet to properly process was stirred, hence the rage. even if she truly believed she was being helpful, there is a part of my brain that always has its defenses up against hurtful words - the gloves are laced up - just waiting.

    undoing years and years of hurtful comments or stares or downright bullying cannot be done overnight. it is a process. but i hold the key. the important thing is to make sure that my weight loss is not a direct response to the garbage people have projected on me. my weight loss is my journey towards emotional, physical and mental health. not to be exempt from snide comments.

    because let's face it, snide remarks are going to happen to everyone. they don't get to hurt everyone, though.

    hopefully that made an ounce of sense. :)
  • pattycakes80
    pattycakes80 Posts: 118 Member
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    no way - his response was awesome, but you communicated a strong desire to make someone feel better. it was smart and very thoughtful. i am glad you did not . :)

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