Say something funny to the person above you!

Whiskey2206
Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
in Chit-Chat
Go!

Replies

  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
    burbon
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt *kitten* is around 24 seconds
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
    Fireworks make my ears yell! -Ralph Wiggum
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    poop stinks
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
    Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
    Sir, you're making a scene.
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    If McDonald's made a deep fried pickle covered in a batter and called it the McDill Dough... would you order one?
  • OhhNiff
    OhhNiff Posts: 1,397 Member
    So, I got nothin'...
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    I fart because it's the only gas I can afford!
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
    Somewhere, there's a turf war going on between skeletons and secret gays.
  • MINDyourMOXIE
    MINDyourMOXIE Posts: 33 Member
    Soooo.....my random thoughts....

    If someone dies and comes back to life 3 days later it's considered an abomination and the hallmark of the zombie apocalypse.

    Jesus died and rose 3 days later.

    A+B=C so in my calculations.....

    JESUS WAS A ZOMBIE. Just my humble opinion :laugh:
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    Did you ever wonder if camels looked down at their feet and say... Oh MY GOD I HAVE p-ssy FEET?
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
    I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public.
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
    Some turtles can breathe through their butt
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
    A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender looks down and notices the pirate has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

    The bartender says, "I couldn't help but notice. You seem to have a steering wheel coming outta your fly."

    The pirate replies, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
    mukluks
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far. :tongue:

    Does always running late count as exercise?
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
    I AM in shape...round is a shape
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.

    Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

    Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him smiling.

    "What do you have in your pocket?", she asked.

    "Tennis ball?" the man said smiling back.

    "Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. A few minutes later a tiny little man comes out of a back room climbs up onto the piano bench and begins to play. The guy looks at the bartender and says " I've never seen a man that small...Where did you find him!?" the bartender reaches under the bar and pulls out a hat..."I have a magic hat that grants you wishes". The guy is excited and says "oh please can I make a wish" The bartender looks nervous and says "you need to be very careful what you wish for". A few second later the bar is filled with ducks. They fill every inch of floor, the tables the chairs, they're on the bar. The guy says to the bartender "What the heck is wrong with that hat?! I wished for a million bucks...not a million ducks!!!!" The bartender looks at him and says " I told you to be careful...Do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    :laugh: Love it!!!!

    I'm out... too tired to think. Goodnight :yawn:
  • mrfreestyle
    mrfreestyle Posts: 1,293 Member
    Why did the chicken cross the road? Jeez what the hell, that joke is so old. Can we come up with something new.
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  • jferg70
    jferg70 Posts: 147 Member
    Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.

    Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"

    His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."

    Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
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  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    :laugh:
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    Kids: "Dad can we go to McDonald's?"
    Dad: "Only if you can spell it"
    Kids: "fk it, let's go to KFC"
  • Building_Bulk
    Building_Bulk Posts: 20,596 Member
    My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
    Being an evil genius is saying "do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart so that everybody takes a deep breath.

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