Obese children bullying?

SarahNicole317

Just thought this might be an interesting conversation...

It seems that more and more thin children are becoming the target of bullying by obese children.

I was at Thanksgiving dinner and I have two cousins, Alyssa who is thin, and Cheyenne who is overweight. It seemed Cheyenne had a very hateful attitude towards alyssa and Alyssa was frequently coming in to say how mean Cheyenne was being. Could it be that Cheyenne is picked on at school so to feel better about herself she is targeting a 'weaker' individual? Is this becoming more common?

Thoughts? Experiences?

micah2009

I think it is definitely happening that way.... I have a friend who is constantly trying to offer me food as almost a sabotage. I think it is because people are more interested in justifying themselves by tearing others down.

gambitsgurl

In most circumstances bullying is spurred by insecurity. Whether it's the skinny cheerleader that attacks the new pretty girl at school. Or the rich person who drives down the cute but poor person. When someone is insecure in themselves and think they are defined by external (as opposed to internal) they will bully people that threaten the way they see themselves.

Debtappe

I've been looking at some of the research on bullying and for a long time the obese kids were the ones that have been bullied. I wouldn't be surprised to see a backlash against the thinner kids.

Ashley_Panda

I was always bullied. Ever since kindergarten. So yeah, I started eventually fighting back.

NutritionDivaRD

In most circumstances bullying is spurred by insecurity. Whether it's the skinny cheerleader that attacks the new pretty girl at school. Or the rich person who drives down the cute but poor person. When someone is insecure in themselves and think they are defined by external (as opposed to internal) they will bully people that threaten the way they see themselves.

All very true!

Here's a little more perspective on the issue though; children who are obese can't always keep up with their peers. Nor can they climb trees, or do all the fun extracurricular activities other kids can do. How would that make you feel if you were in their shoes? They are sad and envious of their peers. I have a nephew who just turned 10 years old and weighs 230 lbs. He is huge. My step-sister offers little discipline for him and I'm not just talking about food. I watch him when all the kids play and he often just stands back and watches because he can't keep up. He walk back to the house huffing and puffing. Then he'll pout with the adults because he's sulky. My heart goes out to him and to other children in this predicament.

SarahNicole317

This leads me to ask another question...

Where does the responsibility lie in regards to obese children? Parents? School lunch programs? Physical education programs? Video games?

KeriA

The kids who bullied my daughter were not obese. She had several instances of it in Middle School all thin kids.

PoshTaush

In most circumstances bullying is spurred by insecurity. Whether it's the skinny cheerleader that attacks the new pretty girl at school. Or the rich person who drives down the cute but poor person. When someone is insecure in themselves and think they are defined by external (as opposed to internal) they will bully people that threaten the way they see themselves.

All very true!

Here's a little more perspective on the issue though; children who are obese can't always keep up with their peers. Nor can they climb trees, or do all the fun extracurricular activities other kids can do. How would that make you feel if you were in their shoes? They are sad and envious of their peers. I have a nephew who just turned 10 years old and weighs 230 lbs. He is huge. My step-sister offers little discipline for him and I'm not just talking about food. I watch him when all the kids play and he often just stands back and watches because he can't keep up. He walk back to the house huffing and puffing. Then he'll pout with the adults because he's sulky. My heart goes out to him and to other children in this predicament.

I really don't mean to be rude, but I see this as a form of child abuse. A 10 year old has NO KNOWLEDGE of how to eat healthy and play/exercise regularly if no one teaches him. This is so sad to me and completely unacceptable. Can you help him?

SarahNicole317

In most circumstances bullying is spurred by insecurity. Whether it's the skinny cheerleader that attacks the new pretty girl at school. Or the rich person who drives down the cute but poor person. When someone is insecure in themselves and think they are defined by external (as opposed to internal) they will bully people that threaten the way they see themselves.

All very true!

Here's a little more perspective on the issue though; children who are obese can't always keep up with their peers. Nor can they climb trees, or do all the fun extracurricular activities other kids can do. How would that make you feel if you were in their shoes? They are sad and envious of their peers. I have a nephew who just turned 10 years old and weighs 230 lbs. He is huge. My step-sister offers little discipline for him and I'm not just talking about food. I watch him when all the kids play and he often just stands back and watches because he can't keep up. He walk back to the house huffing and puffing. Then he'll pout with the adults because he's sulky. My heart goes out to him and to other children in this predicament.

I really don't mean to be rude, but I see this as a form of child abuse. A 10 year old has NO KNOWLEDGE of how to eat healthy and play/exercise regularly if no one teaches him. This is so sad to me and completely unacceptable. Can you help him?

I agree, but not to the point of labeling it as child abuse. I think it falls into the category of neglect. Too often parents use food to bribe children, reward them, and punish them. As far as their physical activity goes I think parents are lazy. It's easier to park them in front of a TV or a video game than to take time to play with them outside. It all starts at the dinner table. I know plently of parents who teach their children to eat healthy from the beginning and they end up turning down cookies even when their parents aren't around. However, there is a fine line with this because some children will feel that they are missing out on something and splurge at a friends house because they don't get poptarts at home.

JaydeSkye

I absoutely believe that could be what is happening, or maybe that because the majority of children today ARE obese, it could just be reversed from the way we experienced school. I'm only 25, but when I was in school only the "nerds" ran home to play video games or other electronics, role playing games, etc. NOW - it's the cool thing to do. Playing sports is not and being fit as a child would make you 'stand out.' My daughter is only 4yrs old but already I'm noticing the other kids are chubbier and even at that age, they notice the difference. (My daughters are not in school, but at parks and such)

Now - I can say that I have personally experienced it. I got a job as a paralegal here in Miami and the other girls in the office ate extremely poorly and didn't appear to get any exercise, other than playing with their phones. I was outcasted IMMEDIATELY when they seen me eatting plain tuna, or grilled chicken. I actually lost my job over grilling chicken for lunch. Not directly, but the attorney I worked for was on a diet and not loosing, she walking into the lunch room and gave me that mad fat face and said "WHATS THAT?!" so, I told her it was grilled chicken. The next day she brought in plain grilled chicken and I was brought into human resources because the attorney felt I "wasn't a good fit". More likely, I was TOO FIT.

Sad part is that I'm the type of person that will help anyone in their effort to loose weight, I am extremely approachable and very friendly. I compliment people on things I like, I'm not jealous or vindictive - or anything. I hate when I'm treated poorly for making healthy decisions. I would hate to think that is what my children, and the next generation has in store - for doing the right thing!

Sweet13_Princess

Well, it makes sense because if I child is obsese, he/she is probably larger than the other kids and is therefore more able to push them around. It really is quite a reversal in roles, as the chubby kid used to be the outcast. I definately have heard of bullying cases with heavier kids picking on thinner kids though. It's a teacher's duty to stop the situation... I know I don't put up with it in my classroom.

Shannon

NutritionDivaRD

In most circumstances bullying is spurred by insecurity. Whether it's the skinny cheerleader that attacks the new pretty girl at school. Or the rich person who drives down the cute but poor person. When someone is insecure in themselves and think they are defined by external (as opposed to internal) they will bully people that threaten the way they see themselves.

All very true!

Here's a little more perspective on the issue though; children who are obese can't always keep up with their peers. Nor can they climb trees, or do all the fun extracurricular activities other kids can do. How would that make you feel if you were in their shoes? They are sad and envious of their peers. I have a nephew who just turned 10 years old and weighs 230 lbs. He is huge. My step-sister offers little discipline for him and I'm not just talking about food. I watch him when all the kids play and he often just stands back and watches because he can't keep up. He walk back to the house huffing and puffing. Then he'll pout with the adults because he's sulky. My heart goes out to him and to other children in this predicament.

I really don't mean to be rude, but I see this as a form of child abuse. A 10 year old has NO KNOWLEDGE of how to eat healthy and play/exercise regularly if no one teaches him. This is so sad to me and completely unacceptable. Can you help him?

Posh, I don't think you're being rude. Your points are valid and well put. I agree with you on nearly all of it. I don't consider it abuse but I DO consider it a form of neglect.

Can I help him? Oh how I would LOVE to! There is a lot of tension in our family and its a very long story. My step-siblings are all beyond morbidly obese. We have been a blended family since I was four years old. But they were teenagers when we came along and were VERY sensitive about the fact that my dad (step dad but he raised me) remarried a woman 10 years younger than him and she was very thin (they lost their mother....very sad story). So without having to go into more details I'm sure you can surmise the issues our family has had just based on that little bit of info.

I have a degree in nutrition and am studying to take my registration exam very soon. My family knows this and when asked, I offer advice, encouragement, and education (I have a few family members on MFP with me). But they don't ask often. I'll just end this by saying its very difficult to influence people who don't WANT to be influenced. I have no desire to make the tensions in our family worse by stirring the pot. If I see a window to make a difference I WILL. However, my nephew doesn't even like to come stay here because I don't let him do whatever he wants. There are rules in my house......lots of love.....but rules are a part of loving your kids.

And don't think he's completely lacking knowledge about nutrition and exercise. We have talked a little bit before. He knows how to read a nutrition label and he knows how to count calories. He knows that he should ride his bike or walk as opposed to playing video games. He just doesn't want to do it. And his parents give him far too many options.

NutritionDivaRD

This leads me to ask another question...

Where does the responsibility lie in regards to obese children? Parents? School lunch programs? Physical education programs? Video games?

Very good question! I believe that first and foremost, it is the responsibility of parents. Society began this downward spiral decades ago as the need and desire for convenience foods grew. Naturally the food industry did not education families as that would negatively effect their profit margin.

Fast forward to our current society. Now there are far too many PARENTS who lack knowledge of proper nutrition and leading a healthy lifestyle. So now I believe that the education system should take more responsibility in educating children. Pediatric nutrition is my particular passion! During my internship we helped at an elementary school symposium educating third graders about nutrition and exercise. I was shocked by how much those little ones knew.....and oh so proud of them! We also paired up and gave a nutritional education session to a group of middle school kids once per month for nine months. I was so excited to develop short lectures, followed by a game and activity every month. The middle school kids knew VERY LITTLE about nutrition and seemed to always be disappointed to see us each month. I had a young girl tell me that Sunkist was like OJ and had vitamin C in it. It was very discouraging for us as we were so pumped to teach them about nutrition and honestly.....they couldn't care less. There are so many gaps in what is being taught to our children about nutrition.

This is something I plan to tackle head first when I get this registration exam behind me. I've got to figure out where to start and get my feet under me, but I can't stand by and do nothing. I'm certain there are other RDs in my field who are as passionate and determined to make a difference as I am. Hopefully we can get parents on board as well and start to make changes.

I could sit here and go on and on..........really. But for now I'll stop.