Feeling discouraged

Options
245

Replies

  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    Options
    you're on the precipice of change. that's why you don't feel like bingeing. that's your inner strength and resolution kicking in. Keep up your chin and don't let him get you down anymore.

    Keep posting and keep eating salad and keep up the good work. get on your machine and elliptic away from him.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
    Options
    I didn't read past "woke me up at 3AM to go to Walmart". I knew it was only gonna get worse.

    EAT: Just read this response
    It has been years since we were actually "in a relationship" with each other, we've just been living together. At the moment I'm stuck because we are both on the lease here. I cannot make him leave and I am in no way capable of pulling off a move right ght now. So I have until...next May to figure it out for me and the kids.

    So for now I'm just trying to stay away from him as much as possible and not listen to the rude comments.

    If there is no relationship, why are you going to Walmart at 3:00AM because HE wants groceries??
  • amberj32
    amberj32 Posts: 663 Member
    Options
    I am having a hard time understanding why you would allow anyone to wake you up at 3 a.m., and then send you to Walmart.

    ^^Exactly!!! That's some Bull****!
    Do whatever you can to get you and your kids out of there!
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Options
    These are all the classic signs of an abusive relationship. He wakes you up, orders you around, insults you, calls you names, and belittles you.

    Hmf. These are not good lessons for your kids. If you can do anywhere, you should, for your own self-respect and for the respect of those kids who watch and hear everything, even if you think they don't.
  • ELLager
    ELLager Posts: 5
    Options
    Wow look at all these encouraging women who are behind you and believe you can over come this! Even just opening up to others can really help your confidence and motivation. One thing that will get me going is to go on Pinterest and scroll through the Health and fitness section...tons of ideas! Just take each day at a time and you can add me as a friend if you'd like and we can chat about our good ideas that worked with weight loss and our bad...like beer :)
  • kessler4130
    kessler4130 Posts: 150 Member
    Options
    How can you all simply acknowledge what is happening here with comments like oh keep up the good work, stay strong, blah blah blah. I rarely post on these forums, but reading this ..... This person is being verbally and mentally assaulted while trying to better them self ...... You all should be ashamed, she needs to walk out the door, not obediently go to walmart at 3am to get food for someone, I get up at 3am for the gym, but if I did not and someone woke me up at 3am for something.... the godamn house better be on fire, or a cat better be stuck in a tree, or jesus better be standing in the living room interviewing for the position of head angel. This thread makes me want to throw my computer across the room, just knowing that someone who treats another human being like that is allowed to exist and breath my air is frustrating.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
    Options
    How can you all simply acknowledge what is happening here with comments like oh keep up the good work, stay strong, blah blah blah. I rarely post on these forums, but reading this ..... This person is being verbally and mentally assaulted while trying to better them self ...... You all should be ashamed, she needs to walk out the door, not obediently go to walmart at 3am to get food for someone, I get up at 3am for the gym, but if I did not and someone woke me up at 3am for something.... the godamn house better be on fire, or a cat better be stuck in a tree, or jesus better be standing in the living room interviewing for the position of head angel. This thread makes me want to throw my computer across the room, just knowing that someone who treats another human being like that is allowed to exist and breath my air is frustrating.

    huh??? ashamed of doing what??? What would you have us do???
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry that you feel trapped in an abusive relationship. I know you said you're trapped in a lease, but there's no good reason to stay in an abusive relationship. Any excuse to stay is just that. An excuse. Beg and cry to the leasing office, talk to friends and family, seek out support groups. There are people out there who can help you and your kids get out. You have to believe that you deserve better than to spend another minute in that environment, and you have to show your kids that no one deserves to be treated that way. Stop making excuses, stop sharing his bed, and make plans to get out now. Good luck to you.
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
    Options
    How can you all simply acknowledge what is happening here with comments like oh keep up the good work, stay strong, blah blah blah. I rarely post on these forums, but reading this ..... This person is being verbally and mentally assaulted while trying to better them self ...... You all should be ashamed, she needs to walk out the door, not obediently go to walmart at 3am to get food for someone, I get up at 3am for the gym, but if I did not and someone woke me up at 3am for something.... the godamn house better be on fire, or a cat better be stuck in a tree, or jesus better be standing in the living room interviewing for the position of head angel. This thread makes me want to throw my computer across the room, just knowing that someone who treats another human being like that is allowed to exist and breath my air is frustrating.
    The very warm and supportive posters should be ashamed????!!!!?????
    You feel like throwing your computer across the room???!!!???
    You don't sound like such a prize either.
  • willywonka_71
    willywonka_71 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    How can you all simply acknowledge what is happening here with comments like oh keep up the good work, stay strong, blah blah blah. I rarely post on these forums, but reading this ..... This person is being verbally and mentally assaulted while trying to better them self ...... You all should be ashamed, she needs to walk out the door, not obediently go to walmart at 3am to get food for someone, I get up at 3am for the gym, but if I did not and someone woke me up at 3am for something.... the godamn house better be on fire, or a cat better be stuck in a tree, or jesus better be standing in the living room interviewing for the position of head angel. This thread makes me want to throw my computer across the room, just knowing that someone who treats another human being like that is allowed to exist and breath my air is frustrating.
    The very warm and supportive posters should be ashamed????!!!!?????
    You feel like throwing your computer across the room???!!!???
    You don't sound like such a prize either.

    I think what Kessier is trying to say (and if I am wrong, he can correct me) is that a woman, who is trying to lose weight, just posted about being in an abusive relationship (verbal abuse, being woken up at 3am to basically be a servant, etc.). And that this relationship is causing her to struggle with being able to lose weight.

    A lot of the responses to her were to stay strong, and keep herself motivated to lose the weight, and he's "mean".And there is nothing wrong with that….but….

    It's the fact that some posters ignored or forgot to mention that she should GET OUT of this relationship, for her sake and her children's, is what is mind boggling.

    Readers of this post should not be taking away from it that this woman is having a hard time losing weight…they should be taking from it the fact that a woman is in an abusive relationship. This is horrible what she is having to deal with. Her priority right now should not be losing the weight but instead it should be protecting herself and her children from this toxic atmosphere.

    Kessier…if that' what your post was about…I agree with you

    OP….Please seek some help (women's abuse shelters, support groups, etc.) to help you get your life to a more positive place- without that idiot. Good luck.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    Options
    I am truly sorry that you are in this situation.

    You need to do what you can to get out from this relationship ASAP. You can not become healthy physically while you are continually being belittled and emotionally beaten down.
  • mary659497
    mary659497 Posts: 483 Member
    Options
    What you are dealing with is verbal abuse. No one should be treated or talked to in the way you are being talked to. Take control of your weight loss journey to build your self esteem. Take care of yourself.
  • queenbrc
    queenbrc Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    I'm actually shocked by how many people commented on the fact that this was verbal abuse. I mean, I know he is abusive but this specific incident didn't seem that bad to me (it just hurt my feelings). I have never really talked to anyone about how he treats me. I know its bad but I didn't realize that so many people would care to comment. Thanks again guys.

    Oh and to answer some of the questions, yes I do have children with him. And the only answer I have as to why I put up with him controlling me and ordering me around is because there are two sides to him: "the annoying/insensitive one" and "the mean one". Honestly, I just prefer to deal withthe aannoying side and I don't have to see the mean side as much.

    But thanks everyone for your words of kindness.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    Options
    time to get out as fast as you can.
    Can you advertise for someone to take over the next several months of the lease?
    Why did you go out to shop for him, are his legs broken?....... Or does he scare you?
    Maybe you have bigger issues to concern yourself with than a bit of weight to lose.
    I hope you can get help to leave this terrible living arrangement.
    good luck.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Options
    I mean, I know he is abusive but this specific incident didn't seem that bad to me (it just hurt my feelings).

    You need more than to just lose weight if you think being ordered out of bed at 3 a.m. to go shopping for him is okay. That's not normal.

    You know what my SO said to me not too long ago? He said he wouldn't abuse me for two reasons: 1. He just wouldn't because it's wrong; and 2. He says he wouldn't do it because he knows I would hit back.

    As long as your self-esteem is in the gutter you'll continue to think this sort of treatment is okay.

    If you had a daughter who had a guy who treated her the way your man treats you, what would you tell her?
  • vmlabute
    vmlabute Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    I was married to a discouraging man and guess what...I left him.

    You are beautiful, a good mother and you deserve to be treated like a queen. I am so sorry you are feeling discouraged and under appreciated. If you ever need to vent/talk, I'm on here all the time and will always listen :)
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Options
    Y do you stay with this asshat and let him push you around? LEAVE honey, leave. Life is too short to be ordered around by a d*ckhole like this. Let him buy his own groceries. I have been in an abusive relationship in the past. I stayed way too long because he escalated slowly and I did not know what was going on until way too much time had elapsed. Now I feel like an idiot for enduring it a single day.

    Get out of there. To hell with this chump. If yr married to him then divorce him.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Options
    Yep, leave.
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
    Options
    I'm going to be totally, brutally honest right now. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to get out. Not only for you, but for the sake of your children. Do you really want them growing up thinking this is how women are supposed to be treated?

Categories