Lowest weight ever - feeling uglier than ever

alsuna

Hopefully somebody can help me getting over this feeling. I started my weightloss journey at 189 (I'm 5'5 tall), after a year and a half of exercising and eating healthier I dropped to 135. This is the weight I started high school with. I've never been this small in my whole adult life. Still following portion control and exercising, and still losing weight at a slow pace.

Does that sound like a success story? Hell yeah, but I still I don't feel like one, on the contrary...

Before losing weight I felt pretty when I was around 150, guys complimented me, and I had no problems with dating. I didn't worry about my weight, I wasn't spending time on my looks, I didn't spend time on thinking about my weight. Weight was not an issue for me.

Fast forward 6 years...

After losing more than 50 pounds I very rarely feel pretty. I'm left with an odd rectangular body shape, no hips, no waist, saggy buttocks and soft fat thighs because of the weight loss. (Doing a lot of squats - it helped quite a bit, but didn't do wonders)
Now that I dropped to an average size, I started comparing myself to other girls/women on the street, and I'm so jealous of almost everyone. Their hair, tanned skin, long legs, hourglass figure, pear shaped bodies etc ...

I started this journey, because I wanted to feel more sexy and feminine, and now I'm left with lower self-esteem, and an over critical approach to my body. Did anybody ever felt the same way? How can I start to enjoy the new body I'm left with? How can I start feeling pretty again?

BTW, not fishing for compliments, just looking for advise from people who went through the same experience.

JoRocka

Many many people get to this point of goal weight- and did it purely through cardio or diet or a combination of both.

And you get to the "number" and are still deeply unhappy because you're pretty much just a smaller leaner version you once were.

This is one specific reason why we recommend weight training- it gives you some structure under there- and gives people usually what they are looking for in terms of body type. Plus the deep satisfaction of tangible results- pulling a body weight dead lift- or pulling 2x body weight- squatting body weight or higher etc etc- very satisfying things.

So- if you haven't done any resistance training- I suggest you might want to look into some programs like starting strength- strong lifts or new rules of lifting.

will help get you started and something to focus on.

suremeansyes

While I know you aren't fishing, I glanced at your pictures and your body is lovely. Also, you look 5-10 years younger, so that's a plus, especially at 30. I second Jo's recommendation for weight lifting. I'm the exact same weight I was about 2-3 months ago but have definitely lost inches all over and am just generally firmer.

skjones0323

OK--So I have NOT gone through what you are experiencing, but I do have a few comments. I was going through old photographs the other day and I noticed that in the photos where I was younger, I thought to myself, gee, I looked pretty good back then. However, I remembered how I felt about myself and I have never in my life except for maybe 30 seconds when I weighed 147 felt good about my body image. I think that's sad, and personally, I don't feel like wasting the rest of my life hating the way I look. I will never be perfect, but I can be content. Secondly, I think your body looks better and I don't see the flabbiness you're talking about. Thirdly, I am deathly afraid of having a bunch of extra skin, especially in the stomach region, but if that happens, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it and my last comment is....I'm assuming the short haired picture is the thinner you? Maybe growing your hair longer again would help you to feel more feminine. I know that sounds so lame, but the thought did cross my mind. Hang in there!

Lemongrab13

As others have said, weight training is the answer.
Choose a lifting program (such as Stronglifts, Starting Strength, Ice Cream Fitness, etc) and then give your body a chance of about 8-12 weeks to see your body change shape.

SezxyStef

Nope...I don't weight what I did in high school but I am the same size...actually I am about 15-20lbs heavier now...

I know i am my high school size because I put on my prom dress and it fit....

how....you may ask...this

Many many people get to this point of goal weight- and did it purely through cardio or diet or a combination of both.

And you get to the "number" and are still deeply unhappy because you're pretty much just a smaller leaner version you once were.

This is one specific reason why we recommend weight training- it gives you some structure under there- and gives people usually what they are looking for in terms of body type. Plus the deep satisfaction of tangible results- pulling a body weight dead lift- or pulling 2x body weight- squatting body weight or higher etc etc- very satisfying things.

So- if you haven't done any resistance training- I suggest you might want to look into some programs like starting strength- strong lifts or new rules of lifting.

Alidecker

Have you changed the way you dress? My body changed so much that I had to get different styles to look better. I couldn't just buy the same pants and shirts in a smaller size. Have you been lifting weights or just doing cardio and eating healthier. Like JoRocka said, building the muscle changes the way you look and gives you a completely different body.

I have the issue where I look in the mirror and see the old self, but when I look in pictures is when I see what other's tell me. The mental aspect of losing a lot of weight has been a lot more difficult on my than losing the weight.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Kevalicious99

Actually I was where you are about 2 months ago ... lost 50 lbs of fat and was at 7.4% body fat.

I had a caved in face, no butt .. no chest. At least when I was overweight I had something. My friends called me a "Crackhead". But then .. all but one of them are visibly overweight. I think there was a bit of jealousy there.

But .. there is always hope. I have been eating more .. doing resistance training and spin class right now and I am making progress.

I did go on a ice cream and chocolate binge just to gain fat .. like is it really a binge if you do it on purpose ? But I made some progress .. but for me the hardest part was not the physical part .. as losing the fat was easy for me. But I was not at all ready for the emotional consequences of losing that much fat .. I was not the same person and I was not prepared for it.

But .. now I am gaining fat to get to a better level and I hope that things get somewhat better.

I do have my before pics .. and if I ever need a little push, I just have to look at them. That is enough for me to know that no matter how things are now, I do not want to go back there.

I am physically pretty strong now and reasonably fit and that is a very powerful thing. But the emotional consequences of losing weight is something that is not often talked about here.

It is not always the nirvana that people think it is ... the glass is not always greener on the other side of the fence, so there needs to be some realization that you will not be the same person you were, and sometimes that takes some adjusting.

Take care ... I totally understand where you are at. It is not always so easy unlike people seem to make you believe.

missylectro

I looked at your photos. I think you are beautiful.

loriebahde

i have recently lost 20 pounds and headed toward 20 more. i am sorry that you have not gotten the amazing results of happiness that most people expect with weight loss. if you where happy at 150 then get back to that and weight train. being to skinny can be just as unsatisfying as being to big. if you look in the mirror and do not like what you see it may be more then weight that is the issue. i suggest doing what ever it takes to raise you self esteem and not comparing yourself to others. i am the best me today that i can be. you have to love who you are or you will not be happy.

lollipoprincess

You're gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Buy some cheap cute skirts and dance around in front of a mirror. Add in some weights. I had a baby, lost the baby weight with some lifting & my fitness pal, I like my body more now at 178ish than I did at 175 before baby. chin up, don't waste time feeling ugly. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself your beautiful.. It helps

marilynbauer

Congratulations! On your weight loss. I am not sure what your age is. But since I am in my mid-40's I can tell you physically I have changed a lot, not just the additional weight I have put on. So I realize once I lose the weight I will still need to come to terms with how my face and body has aged and changed and that I simply will never look as good as I once did when I was younger.

I am trying to focus on positive reasons for wanting to lose the weight now such as overall improved health and feeling more energetic.

Also I highly recommend having a Spa Day and Makeover as a reward for all your achievement.

phdiva12

I understand you completely! I've gained some weight back (that's another story), but I lost a total of 75 pounds at one point. My face became really skinny and my neck began to wrinkle a little. My boobs looked horrible! Instead of worrying about the fat, I worried that I looked older than my age. I didn't drink nearly enough water, which I think added to the problem. I got a lot of compliments from my weight loss, but I also had people tell me that I looked tired and worn out. When I was heavier, I had a baby face with an old-looking body. After I lost, I had a younger body but an old face- I can't win!!

Overall, I think it's a psychological thing. We expect weight loss to give us happiness, but the novelty eventually wears off. The old insecurities start creeping back and we start eating again to feel better. This is a big part of the reason I fell off the wagon and gained 25 pounds back. Either way, there's nothing wrong with gaining weight back to improve your appearance, just do it in a healthy way and realize that you have to work on your self esteem and inner happiness too.

Veil5577

I also saw your photos. You're gorgeous.

BEVERLYSTEEN

Maybe there is a deeper reason for your unhappiness and just need to seek counseling to find out what it is, there is nothing to be ashamed of by talking to a professional. I do agree with the others about lifting the weights and having an 'All About Me' day. Good Luck.

kshadows

Many many people get to this point of goal weight- and did it purely through cardio or diet or a combination of both.

And you get to the "number" and are still deeply unhappy because you're pretty much just a smaller leaner version you once were.

This is one specific reason why we recommend weight training- it gives you some structure under there- and gives people usually what they are looking for in terms of body type. Plus the deep satisfaction of tangible results- pulling a body weight dead lift- or pulling 2x body weight- squatting body weight or higher etc etc- very satisfying things.

So- if you haven't done any resistance training- I suggest you might want to look into some programs like starting strength- strong lifts or new rules of lifting.

will help get you started and something to focus on.

+1!!!!!!!

lizk710

I know how you feel. I had this happened to me back in January. Due to stress I dropped 6 lbs and was 5 lbs away from my goal weight. I'm tiny, so just a little loss shows. It was really noticeable to me. Maybe it was just because I dropped it so fast, it was a shock. I don't know. My husband started making comments about how bony I was starting to become. I didn't like it either! Just washing my face scared me when there wasn't much left to wash. I ended up gaining 8 lbs back, and now I don't like how I look. I can't win!

The funny thing is that my goal weight is 20lbs above my lowest weight (high school) of 115 lbs. I have gained a lot of muscle since then, but I doubt 20 lbs of it! I look at pictures of myself back then, and I just don't like it. I'm horrified of how skinny I looked then.

I want to be curvy, healthy, and fit! I'm aiming to lose that 8 lbs again and see how I feel about it. I know I felt better physically. I am overweight now, and have some health issues, so I know I really have no choice but to get my weight down.

Thank you JoRocka for the advice! I'm thinking this will really help!

alsuna

Thanks Everyone for the feedback! Good to know, that others have been in the same situation! Sometimes I just feel so lost.

I was staying up all night reading the comments, and analyzing my situation. Some of you suggested that my problem is rather psychological than physiological. And I just realized, that I have the same feeling every time I succeed with something. I just landed a well payed job abroad, and moved to the best neighborhood after 2 years of scarce income and living in a shared apartment with students. And even right now I still feel unaccomplished. This feeling has been following me through my whole adult life. I guess I need to see a counselor and work on this.

I've been also thinking of trying lifting, and after so many recommendations it must be the solution for me. One of my colleagues will take me to her gym and show me how it goes, and I will take her to my pole dance classes. Win-Win.

I still feel rather down, and the feeling of unaccomplishment is still dragging me down, but I feel a bit better because I decided finally to address this problem, and chose achievable methods for tackling it. I just wished it would be a bit easier :P