Struggling to understand why

farmers_daughter

Back in high school as a cheerleader I easily lifted 80-110lb girls over my head by myself.

But yet today after weightlifting at least 1x a week now upping to 2x for the last 5 months, I can only bench press a solid 55lbs on a good day.

It bugs me because there are new people coming into the gym starting out they are very very new to exercise and fitness who can lift right there with me.
Makes me feel really stupid. I can see how someone would (and does) say I'm not trying "that really overweight very out of shape girl just out deadlifted/benched/squatted you"

Why?
I know I'm letting it get to me I should just go in and do my thing, but you can't tell me it doesn't bother some of you too when that happens.

I just want to be able to do a little more, I don't want to be the one in class that has been there for years, and is the lightest lifter in there. Also someone debunk the myth that if I lift every day I'm going to wear out my muscles, do you have to give them a rest day?
Suggestions?

Unknown

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likitisplit

I feel you. I've never been really strong though. On good days, I can bench the bar

In high school, you weren't just lifting them, they were actively helping you.

Yes, you need to give your muscles a rest day. Strength happens when they recover. It's not that you wear them out, it's that they need time to heal and store up energy so that you can continue making strength gains.

JoRocka

Do not compare yourself to anyone or anything. You are where you are, and that's all there is to it. It's not good or bad, it doesn't matter. It just is what it is. Just start now and move forward.

this.

I struggle with it sometimes too- there is a girl who claims to have been only lifting for maybe 9-12 months- but she's out squatting me by almost 75 pounds and she's easily 15 pounds lighter than me- but not much shorter.

it's infuriating. But I have goals- and me competing with her won't get me there- it'll only get me hurt.

So I stay the course on the program I have selected... and push through. just worrying more about doing every lift efficiently with form and reasonable speed.

It happens to EVERYONE and it's a coping mechanism to not feel so bad or project- it's normal- but move past it- you already know you NEED to show up and lift for you- so just do that- it'll take some time- but there will ALWAYS be stronger people than you- and weaker people. You'll settle into YOU soon enough. relax- no reason to rush the journey.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I feel you. I've never been really strong though. On good days, I can bench the bar

In high school, you weren't just lifting them, they were actively helping you.

Yes, you need to give your muscles a rest day. Strength happens when they recover. It's not that you wear them out, it's that they need time to heal and store up energy so that you can continue making strength gains.

What she said. And what he said. I was complaining about my crappy 20 lb curls, while my lower body was progressing for close to a year. Someone suggested that I go heavier for my first set, then if I can't get all the reps in the second set, lower the weight. That week I got all 3x8. It might have just been a mind thing, because now I'm progressing. Are you doing full body 2x a week? It could be you're not getting enough calories. Don't take my word for that last one, just a thought.

Showcase_Brodown

Hard to say. That can depend on a lot of things like how you train, how you eat, and how you rest. But it probably comes down to the fact that this is just where you are at and progress comes slow for everyone.

I think 3x a week strength training is a good place to be. Yes, incorporating rest days is important.

knittnponder

Are you following a plan that has you lifting progressively? Are you pushing yourself?

I don't ask that with any kind of attitude, I ask because I was struggling with the same issue of not seeming to progress and my problem was, I was slacking. I got a couple of training sessions because I wanted to make sure my form was good and the trainer had to adjust very little because apparently I was doing it right. Since I didn't need much work she decided we should find my one rep max for the exercises I'd asked for help with. I found that I could do SO much more than I thought I could!

For my squats I was only doing 5 reps of 115 but we found my 1RM was 175!
Deadlifts I was doing 105 but my 1RM was 200!
Bench Press I was doing 65 and my 1RM was 135!
OH Press I was at 65 and my 1RM was 100!

All of these I only do 5 sets of 5 reps so my sets were definitely not where they could have been. After my PT sessions I added weight and push myself harder and have seen so much more progress since doing so.

I don't compare to other people in the gym, mostly because they're all young guys and there really isn't a way to compare. I could be mom to most of them, lol. But I compare myself to me with every workout. I keep a journal with what I've lifted and make notes about weight, form or whatever catches my attention that time so next time I know what I might need to adjust.

SezxyStef

Yah no comparisons with other people...

It's not healthy.

I watch here the weights that some other women are lifting...*cough*JoRocka*cough* and am amazed ....but remember I am not those people...

I am me and I can lift what is heavy for me. And if I lift heavier than I did the time before I am impressed...if I can't I am no less impressed because I am still lifting heavy for me.

I sometimes think we are too hard on ourselves really esp women.

likitisplit

Do not compare yourself to anyone or anything. You are where you are, and that's all there is to it. It's not good or bad, it doesn't matter. It just is what it is. Just start now and move forward.

this.

I struggle with it sometimes too- there is a girl who claims to have been only lifting for maybe 9-12 months- but she's out squatting me by almost 75 pounds and she's easily 15 pounds lighter than me- but not much shorter.

it's infuriating. But I have goals- and me competing with her won't get me there- it'll only get me hurt.

So I stay the course on the program I have selected... and push through. just worrying more about doing every lift efficiently with form and reasonable speed.

It happens to EVERYONE and it's a coping mechanism to not feel so bad or project- it's normal- but move past it- you already know you NEED to show up and lift for you- so just do that- it'll take some time- but there will ALWAYS be stronger people than you- and weaker people. You'll settle into YOU soon enough. relax- no reason to rush the journey.

YOU!?! You feel this way?

bostonwolf

Back in high school as a cheerleader I easily lifted 80-110lb girls over my head by myself.

But yet today after weightlifting at least 1x a week now upping to 2x for the last 5 months, I can only bench press a solid 55lbs on a good day.

It bugs me because there are new people coming into the gym starting out they are very very new to exercise and fitness who can lift right there with me.
Makes me feel really stupid. I can see how someone would (and does) say I'm not trying "that really overweight very out of shape girl just out deadlifted/benched/squatted you"

Why?
I know I'm letting it get to me I should just go in and do my thing, but you can't tell me it doesn't bother some of you too when that happens.

I just want to be able to do a little more, I don't want to be the one in class that has been there for years, and is the lightest lifter in there. Also someone debunk the myth that if I lift every day I'm going to wear out my muscles, do you have to give them a rest day?
Suggestions?

What kind of strength work did you do as a cheerleader? Bench press wouldn't really be a good indicator of what your overhead press is.

IF you want to regain that level of strength, mimic what got you there the first time.

On your good days, how many times are your bench pressing 55 lbs?

If you want to gain mass you need to be doing heavy weight, lower reps (5-6 reps per set)

Rogiefreida

Are you following a plan that has you lifting progressively? Are you pushing yourself?

I don't ask that with any kind of attitude, I ask because I was struggling with the same issue of not seeming to progress and my problem was, I was slacking. I got a couple of training sessions because I wanted to make sure my form was good and the trainer had to adjust very little because apparently I was doing it right. Since I didn't need much work she decided we should find my one rep max for the exercises I'd asked for help with. I found that I could do SO much more than I thought I could!

For my squats I was only doing 5 reps of 115 but we found my 1RM was 175!
Deadlifts I was doing 105 but my 1RM was 200!
Bench Press I was doing 65 and my 1RM was 135!
OH Press I was at 65 and my 1RM was 100!

All of these I only do 5 sets of 5 reps so my sets were definitely not where they could have been. After my PT sessions I added weight and push myself harder and have seen so much more progress since doing so.

I don't compare to other people in the gym, mostly because they're all young guys and there really isn't a way to compare. I could be mom to most of them, lol. But I compare myself to me with every workout. I keep a journal with what I've lifted and make notes about weight, form or whatever catches my attention that time so next time I know what I might need to adjust.

This pretty much echoes how it's worked for me, except I didn't use a trainer, my husband pushed me (damn him, he was right, I could lift more! lol).

I struggle with not comparing myself to others, but it's gotta be you against you, even if you have to repeat it to yourself until you believe it. But doing the 1RM really showed me that I'm way stronger than I thought and I am progressing nicely now.

cmcollins001

When you lifted these girls over your head, where they just dead weight or did they have a little spring in their step? Holding 80 lbs over your head is completely different than picking it up from the ground (dead weight) and getting it over your head.

Just stick with your plan, track the results and adjust accordingly. Everything is going to take time and patience...and continued dedication.

FoxyLifter

I have a motto: I'm not trying to be better than you. I'm trying to be better than I used to be.

There will always be someone faster or stronger. Use that person as inspiration! You don't know how they've trained up until that point. So they haven't been in a gym. Maybe they have a physically demanding job or something. But who cares? Just do what you've got to do.

JoRocka

Do not compare yourself to anyone or anything. You are where you are, and that's all there is to it. It's not good or bad, it doesn't matter. It just is what it is. Just start now and move forward.

this.

I struggle with it sometimes too- there is a girl who claims to have been only lifting for maybe 9-12 months- but she's out squatting me by almost 75 pounds and she's easily 15 pounds lighter than me- but not much shorter.

it's infuriating. But I have goals- and me competing with her won't get me there- it'll only get me hurt.

So I stay the course on the program I have selected... and push through. just worrying more about doing every lift efficiently with form and reasonable speed.

It happens to EVERYONE and it's a coping mechanism to not feel so bad or project- it's normal- but move past it- you already know you NEED to show up and lift for you- so just do that- it'll take some time- but there will ALWAYS be stronger people than you- and weaker people. You'll settle into YOU soon enough. relax- no reason to rush the journey.

YOU!?! You feel this way?

sometimes!! I know!!!

But there is ALWAYS someone younger- stronger and faster- someone who is gaining speed/traction more than you quicker than you or are just plain better than you.

There will ALWAYS be someone like that in your life. Sometimes you're the top dog- but that doesn't mean there are not others out there who aren't stronger faster or whatever.

So yes- I even feel that way. It happens to EVERYONE.

it's part of the process- learning how to control that feeling and be satisfied with the rate of progress- not content/stuck kind of thing but satisfied. It's hard to learn- but it's important. We all struggle- never think someone else isn't dealing with something. .. it may be completely different- it may be something you are completely comfortable with and they aren't- you just never know!!! Which is why you need to worry about doing the best YOU can at all times!

likitisplit

Do not compare yourself to anyone or anything. You are where you are, and that's all there is to it. It's not good or bad, it doesn't matter. It just is what it is. Just start now and move forward.

this.

I struggle with it sometimes too- there is a girl who claims to have been only lifting for maybe 9-12 months- but she's out squatting me by almost 75 pounds and she's easily 15 pounds lighter than me- but not much shorter.

it's infuriating. But I have goals- and me competing with her won't get me there- it'll only get me hurt.

So I stay the course on the program I have selected... and push through. just worrying more about doing every lift efficiently with form and reasonable speed.

It happens to EVERYONE and it's a coping mechanism to not feel so bad or project- it's normal- but move past it- you already know you NEED to show up and lift for you- so just do that- it'll take some time- but there will ALWAYS be stronger people than you- and weaker people. You'll settle into YOU soon enough. relax- no reason to rush the journey.

YOU!?! You feel this way?

sometimes!! I know!!!

But there is ALWAYS someone younger- stronger and faster- someone who is gaining speed/traction more than you quicker than you or are just plain better than you.

There will ALWAYS be someone like that in your life. Sometimes you're the top dog- but that doesn't mean there are not others out there who aren't stronger faster or whatever.

So yes- I even feel that way. It happens to EVERYONE.

it's part of the process- learning how to control that feeling and be satisfied with the rate of progress- not content/stuck kind of thing but satisfied. It's hard to learn- but it's important. We all struggle- never think someone else isn't dealing with something. .. it may be completely different- it may be something you are completely comfortable with and they aren't- you just never know!!! Which is why you need to worry about doing the best YOU can at all times!

I mean, I *know* this. But it's REALLY nice to hear it repeated by your personal heroines.

JoRocka

:flowerforyou:
It's one of the reasons I continue to give my personal experiences.

Same as MireyGal with her post about a bad day.

*kitten* happens- and the day to day grind is hard- a lot of the work that needs to happen takes place in the brain- and no where near the gym- it's always a good reminder that EVERYONE struggles- even the people that appear to have their *kitten* together.

farmers_daughter

Back in high school as a cheerleader I easily lifted 80-110lb girls over my head by myself.

But yet today after weightlifting at least 1x a week now upping to 2x for the last 5 months, I can only bench press a solid 55lbs on a good day.

It bugs me because there are new people coming into the gym starting out they are very very new to exercise and fitness who can lift right there with me.
Makes me feel really stupid. I can see how someone would (and does) say I'm not trying "that really overweight very out of shape girl just out deadlifted/benched/squatted you"

Why?
I know I'm letting it get to me I should just go in and do my thing, but you can't tell me it doesn't bother some of you too when that happens.

I just want to be able to do a little more, I don't want to be the one in class that has been there for years, and is the lightest lifter in there. Also someone debunk the myth that if I lift every day I'm going to wear out my muscles, do you have to give them a rest day?
Suggestions?

What kind of strength work did you do as a cheerleader? Bench press wouldn't really be a good indicator of what your overhead press is.

IF you want to regain that level of strength, mimic what got you there the first time.

On your good days, how many times are your bench pressing 55 lbs?

If you want to gain mass you need to be doing heavy weight, lower reps (5-6 reps per set)

LOL I did squat - and not those kind of squats. I was just naturally a strong farm kid. I think they just got lucky.
I typically do 3 sets of 10 or 15 reps.
I think our trainer wants us to up by 5-10% when we can. But I've just been struggling to get those 10 reps in. somedays.

jennifer907

A quote that I really love is "Comparison is the thief of joy." You have to be proud of where you are and not compare yourself to anyone else in the gym. When I use a machine at the gym, I know I'm moving the plates up to a much lighter weight than the person before me, but it doesn't matter. I'm proud of where I am personally because I started off on even lower weights than I'm at now.

I do get really self conscious doing bicep curls and free weights though. I think it's natural, but you just have to get your mind to a place where you can focus on just yourself.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

It is hard to compare yourself to what you used to be able to do. I get it.

ANTlSOClAL

I have no idea. In high school I could bench 110 lbs. Last time I benched something I put up 175 lbs. I never really worked out between those times.

farmers_daughter

Also what is 1RM?

levitateme

Bench is really hard. I've been training for almost a solid 5 months and am still struggling to do 80x5x5. It's really demoralizing. Especially when you tell men about your weight training and they know nothing about it. "That doesn't sound like very much." B*tch, it's more than half my bodyweight!

Pay attention to what you feel proud of, and just keep training.

I also agree with the person that said "tossing a girl in the air isn't the same as weight lifting." Those girls had momentum/bounce and balanced their own bodies. Lifting 60 lbs of solid metal over your head is serious business, and much different than flesh and bone.

Edit: forgot this is basically the "don't compare yourself to others thread" lol.

farmers_daughter

A quote that I really love is "Comparison is the thief of joy." You have to be proud of where you are and not compare yourself to anyone else in the gym. When I use a machine at the gym, I know I'm moving the plates up to a much lighter weight than the person before me, but it doesn't matter. I'm proud of where I am personally because I started off on even lower weights than I'm at now.

I do get really self conscious doing bicep curls and free weights though. I think it's natural, but you just have to get your mind to a place where you can focus on just yourself.

Love that quote!

Yes got to get and stay in my groove.... Let the other people think what they want about me. I'm doing my best! And I really don't feel like I'm "staying put" or "not trying hard enough.

yankeedownsouth

Why?
I know I'm letting it get to me I should just go in and do my thing, but you can't tell me it doesn't bother some of you too when that happens.

I admit, sometimes it bothers me too. And it's dumb that I let it bother me. I'm almost 46 years old and I have physical limitations due to cancer, so I should NOT be comparing myself to the 20 somethings at the gym who lift heavier and look better than I do. But some days, I do let myself go down that mental road, and it doesn't end up in a good place.

likitisplit

Also what is 1RM?

One rep max. It's the maximum amount you can move one time. It can be SIGNIFICANTLY heavier than the amount you feel comfortable moving 10 times, and is a better measure of strength gains.

thejuicywoman

I like to look at things from a big picture perspective. Our body is energy, and everything we do, even the thoughts we think are energy. When you were a cheerleader in High School you might consider that you put a lot of your energy into learning how to build your body and challenge yourself physically.

But it's very likely that once you became a mom, your priorities changed and you invested all your energy and time into raising your daughter. Although we don't lose all muscle tone, we do lose a good amount of it when our bodies become less active.

It's not fair to expect your body to respond as it used to when you were in High School. You can build the strength to do what you want to, but you have to ask yourself, "Is this what you really want?"Is it worth it or would you rather spend that additional time with your daughter or doing something else. It comes down to making a choice. what will you choose?