Struggling after separation

ksnel3

My husband and I separated in January. I had my 3rd child in April, by myself. I have 2 other small children that I barely get to see, as I'm being falsely accused and awaiting trial. It's been a very emotionally straining year for me. Prior to the separation I always had tons of motivation to stay in shape and be healthy. I wanted to look great for my husband and for myself. Lately I just don't seem to care anymore. I don't eat junk all the time, but more than I should. I'm not really gaining or losing. I am not exactly happy with the way I look, but I guess I just don't care anymore. I hate that. Can anyone give me advice on how to stay motivated or add me to help me stay motivated? I am really struggling, but I need to fight this not just for me, but for my kids. I'm not depressed all the time, except for when I don't have my kids with me. I wish I knew how to focus that into motivation instead of depression.

zoeysasha37

Hi there! I'm really sorry your going threw all this. I can not imagine what it would be like to be without your kids :-( you can add me if you want. ( please write a note saying you are the OP of this thread with your request, cuz I usually don't accept any requests. But if be more then happy to accept yours ;-)
For me, motivation comes with repetition. Meaning after something becomes part of my daily routine, I just kinda go with it from there without even giving it much thought. So maybe try to force yourself to get into a routine until it sticks and just becomes part of your daily life.
Remember you must keep yourself healthy and strong to continue fighting for your kids, and you want to live a long life to be there for them. I know it probably feels overwhelming right now, as your going threw a lot. But you have to take care if yourself in order to take care of them soon. You'll want to be fit, so you can run around and Keep up with your little ones :-)
Take care and I hope you are able to be with your babies full time again, really soon! :-)

hiker583

{{{{}}}} Sorry you are going through this, and with a new born.
Now you can use yourself and your children as motivation. You are not happy with the way you look, so change it for yourself. Look in the mirror and see yourself at your goal weight, looking happy and proud. You will also need energy to fight for your children, and you can derive that from exercise.

CINDYRN33

Sorry you are going through this. Write a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight. If you have a moment of weakness reread the list. Exercise is for sure a natural antidepressant, get out and walk. Get fresh air. Make it part of your routine. You will be surprised at what your mind will solve while on a walk, alone. Oh yeah and maybe you should consider talking with your doc about an antidepressant temporarily, you have a lot going on and maybe you are even having some postpartum depression??? Good luck.

Liftng4Lis

My husband and I divorced the first time when my daughter was 7 mos old. That's right the first time, the second time she was four and my son was 12 (different woman that time), I spent the following 5 years being "attacked" and going through the court system. Honey you WILL get through this, you WILL be stronger and you WILL do this because you have children that need you. Yes it's difficult and sometimes just plain sucks, still you have to just pull up your boot straps and push forward.
Best of luck to you!

ksnel3

Thanks everyone for your responses and support. I am off antidepressants because I just don't need them anymore. I feel great most of the time, but just lacking motivation for exercise. I think the idea of making it part of routine is a great idea. I am thinking about trying yoga to help destress. I live with my parents, so I could make exercise my "me time."

Francl27

I'm sorry

Personally, I'd use your anger and frustration to motivate yourself... show them they can't take you down and your husband that you don't need him to get 'hot' and do just fine without him... Easier said than done, but that's the idea.