Finally making myself a priority. Not without guilt, though

Awarren5406
Awarren5406 Posts: 2
edited September 22 in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone, new to all of this. I've spent my entire adult life putting others first, finally trying to do what I want (and need) for me. As a wife, mother of 2, and step-mom to 2 I'm still having a hard time with feelings of guilt and selfishness... Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated!

Replies

  • bkmush
    bkmush Posts: 27
    Oh I know exactly what you are talking about! I've made my kids and husband my life, after that comes taking care of our aging parents, my job, house...etc.. Somewhere way down on the bottom is me and when I do anything for myself I feel like I'm letting someone else down.

    All I can say is that you know we are not the best for any of them if we aren't our best us! Teaching the kids good healthy habits, an active life style and positive self-esteem IS a good thing!

    I wrote a blog about this once upon a time because I do believe that for me it is the cause of my weight struggles.

    Good luck, post often, you'll get there!
  • mcthomason
    mcthomason Posts: 31
    Just think of it as in the end your really doing something for them too. You will be healthier, feel better, and have more energy to do things for them even longer.

    Hang in there and don't beat yourself up ! !
  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
    Just think of it as in the end your really doing something for them too. You will be healthier, feel better, and have more energy to do things for them even longer.

    Hang in there and don't beat yourself up ! !

    This is SO true!
  • nubreeze33
    nubreeze33 Posts: 270
    think of it like this................If you don't love you how do you have space to love anyone else? No guilt sis. It is hard I know, I am the spine for not only my children but my nieces and nephews who live with me as well. You have to make yourself a priority. If you don't now you will be bitter and with regrets later. Welcome to the site, it's so wonderful here.
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
    I'm 56 years old,kids grown and on their own (raised two daughters and a step son & daughter) I now have grandchildren, my husband has Alzheimers and NO I have never been able to do things for myself with out feeling some guilt. I am MAKING myself do this...take time to eat right, go to the gym and take care of myself but I justify it in my mind because I know if I hadn't started this journey I wasn't going to be here to take care of my husband through his illness. Even with that I still feel guilty when I try to keep him from bringing candy into the house (or ice cream, or pie or any number of the other things that he suddenly wants to have around) I go to the gym while he is sleeping early morning so I don't take more time away from him. I think there are a lot of women (and I'm sure some men too) that struggle with this. Just another one of the things we have to work on.
  • mamastuck
    mamastuck Posts: 131
    OMG this so me. I have 9 children 13 and under a unsupportive husband (cause hes ok with me being fat and stuck barefoot and pregnant) I have just decided I dont care who I piss off this is for ME and noone else. If they dont like well then kiss my *kitten* ;p;
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
    For me it came down to this: if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. I have 2 grown children and 5 grandchildren. If I don't lose my belly fat and lower my cholesterol I won't be around long enough to be there for them! This site and the great people here will help you a lot, but ultimately YOU have to do this for you!
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