Lack of motivation?

SBHWeav

I don't know what's wrong with me. I have so many things in my life that should be my motivation, but I just can't seem to care enough to get up and do anything. I'm the biggest I've ever been and I hate it. I used to be 140lbs and a size 6/8. Now I'm somewhere over 220 and a size 18/20. I don't know. Maybe my girls aren't enough motivation? That sounds so horrible. Marriage is in shambles. We probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Our relationship has always been difficult and it's just getting worse. I'm so tired of feeling so horrible about myself but I won't/can't do anything about it.

zilannoj

I think because the first motivation should be you. If you feel like you aren't worth it, then you're not going to do it. But if you just take that first step and keep going, you'll find that this is a lot easier than you think. You can do this.

Beckboo0912

It's you...you don't want to change. Until you want it for you then you won't change. You can name all the reasons you should change but it needs to be something you want to do, so until/if that happens you won't have the motivation.

brenn24179

start taking care of yourself, log everyday. Get yourself in shape so you can be happy and decide what to do about your marriage. You know eating is not helping and probably distracting you from making decisions. Read some of the success stories on here. You can do it, get your life back and start today. I think we lose respect for yourselves when we gain weight and probably let others disrespect us,I know I did. I feel much better about myself now and am not tolerant of anyone treating me bad. You will feel so much better when you get back in your smaller clothes and you can do it.

beastmode_kitty

The mental part of losing weight and getting in shape is the hardest part. Especially if you see set backs. You can work your way through it. You just have to want it.

Take a look of pictures when you were thinner, and look at pictures now, and think long and hard of how much you want this.

Also go through the MFP forums and read people's success stories. THats what worked for me

happysherri

Wow - I've been there!

Toward the end of my marriage, I was miserable and at my biggest. I got divorced and took control of my life and lost the weight! I will never let myself get that way again!


I'm not suggesting you get divorced, I don't know your story. BUUUUTTT You need to figure out what YOU want - it's not selfish - it's taking care of you first! Then just DO IT!

Exercise makes me happy, and some days I don't feel like doing it but I make myself do it.

HellaCarriefornia

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. I understand how even though you are miserable, everything else going on is so overwhelming you can't seem to muster up the energy to start. I don't have an answer for you. I've been where you are and it took me some time until I got to a place of motivation. Try starting with a couple of little things that seem doable. Drink more water. If you can, take your girls for a walk each day. The exercise and fresh air can relieve some stress. I wish you the best of luck in your situation.

Leah_62803

I understand this. I have the same problem minus the relationship issues.

I love my kids with all my heart and I want to be a healthy example for them... I love my husband and I want to be attractive to him.
That's always been enough to get me started but never enough to make it stick.

So this time I'm trying to think about things a little differently. I want to be a happy, healthy mother to my kids. Not just for them but for me. I want to feel attractive to my husband not just be attractive to him. I want my confidence back!!
I don't want to be a spectator anymore.

Palamedes

The Chinese philosopher Laozi (c 604 bc - c 531 bc) in the Tao Te Ching, chapter 64 says the following:

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

You have a lot going on. You need to start working on things you control. Things beyond your control or out of control should not be a focus. I would start with a goal. I think an obvious goal would be to stick around for a good long time so you can be there for your children. In order to stick around, you need to be fit.

Note that I start with a goal of fitness. This is a new idea for me. In the past, I was only worried about losing weight. I started my current plan with that goal. My health and fitness coordinator at work convinced me to try something different. Instead of trying to lose weight, I'm trying to be more fit. I'm trying to increase my muscle mass, have better hydration, and lower the fat percentage. Along the way, I have lost some weight.

Let's look at the positive in your situation. You have found your way to MyFitnessPal and started addressing the issues. That counts as a positive first step on your journey to being fit. Next, you have to set a goal, and figure out what type of life you want to live. Actually, I'm going with my current fad diet. This fad diet can be described as "Eat less, Move more." I agree with Brenn. The first step is to log everything. Log every bite of food. Log ever drink of water. Log every activity.

Start taking other positive steps. If you logging of food shows you are eating too much sugar, cut back on food with sugars. Add little activities that have a positive effects. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Park your car far away from the front door and walk. Other positive steps will come as you start thinking about them. You might start riding a bike. You might find someone who wants to play tennis. You might enjoy taking a long walk in the evening.

No matter what you do, keep moving forward. One day you might get to the end of your journey and surprise yourself.