Figuring out the why?

MaryHuckleberry

Every once in a while I will watch a weight loss show, Biggest Loser or Extreme Weight Loss, whatever. When I do it seems like one of the main focuses is finding out why people gained their weight in the first place—such as some trauma or personal loss. Once they figure it out they make tremendous progress and all is well. I’m oversimplifying of course—but I’m really trying to figure out why I am fat as I haven’t had any big cataclysmic life event (thank my lucky stars) happen to me.
I wasn’t big as a toddler—I started gaining weight around 2nd-3rd grade and didn’t realize anything was wrong until an adult friend of the family who hadn’t been around for a while said “MaryHuckleberry, what happened to you? You got so fat!”. I played sports in High School and I was probably a size 11/12 but I was bigger than all the other girls who were probably 2-4-6’s. I was bullied in High School but also had my mean girl moments. I did the freshmen 20 when I went to College. And then after College I have been way over 200 lbs—I have done Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers and tried to diet on my own. 3 times I have lost down to the threshold of onederland and then gained it all back. I don’t have kids, I do have hypothyroidism—however the last Dr. visit my numbers were such that they pulled me off the medication.
I know you all aren’t licensed therapists or anything but any ideas on how to go about figuring this out? I’m in my mid 40’s and don’t want the next 20 years of my life to be like the last in that I definitely avoid “adventuring” and new social situations. Thanks for any words of wisdom!

tulips_and_tea

I'm certainly not a trained therapist, but based strictly from your post, it doesn't sound like you have an unhealthy relationship with food but rather never gave it a whole lot of thought. Kudos to you for not being fixated on it. Kudos also for recognizing that finding the source is important.

Some people are heavy or unhealthy simply because they weren't taught to eat healthy or cook for themselves or whatever. If you can change your habits now and make progress I wouldn't turn it into something bigger than what it currently is.

bwogilvie

I got fat as a kid, and then again from my early 30s to my mid 40s, simply because I ate a little bit more every day than I expended. Some of that was not exercising, but most of it was just having a little too much of a snack, or taking seconds, or having another beer. It didn't help that I was only sporadically active much of the time, but it was mostly eating too much.

The times I lost and then maintained weight are from 22 to 29, when I became much more active while also trying to be more mindful about what I ate, and then from 44 to now (46), when I discovered MFP and started counting calories. Back in 2008, I thought I could lost weight by doing what worked in the 1990s – move more and eat less – but it didn't work. In 2012, I biked 2500 miles and gained 10 lb. – all that cycling made me hungry!

MFP has helped me keep a healthy relationship with the kind of food I eat (which was pretty good; I home cook most dinners and have since late 1990), while recalibrating my sense of how much food I need.

debubbie

You may try to keep a food journal and record how you are feeling while you are eating. Are you eating because you are happy and using food as a form of celebration, are you eating because you are bored, or maybe you are eating because you are sad and food cheers you up? I have a tendency to eat when I am bored, especially junk food! Knowing this, I try to make myself exercise, read, or distract myself before giving into eating something for the sake of having something to do. Do you see food as the enemy or as fuel for your body? I have found that when I treated food as the enemy and would try to severely limit what I was eating I would make myself miserable after a few days and then gorge myself on food. Now that I try to see food as fuel and that I only need so many calories to fill up my tank, I am more mindful about eating quality food and allowing myself to eat the not so good for me foods on occasion. I am much happier on my weight loss journey because of this and feel confident that I will eventually reach my desired weight and maintain it.

elisa123gal

i think the excuses and or reasons we hear on those shows are true..but many of us..just have eaten too much. And once one gains the weight..one must eat a deficit for a long time to lose it..

most don't..so the pounds creep up up up over the years and before you know it.. fatsville..

… so easy to gain the weight..so hard to lose it…

MaryHuckleberry

Thank you all who have taken the time to answer my post; I truly appreciate the comments and insights.

psych101

I think that as you go along, you may answer your own question.

For me this whole process has really made me open up to myself about things I've carried with me and never realised that I did. There's still work to do for me, but I found my 'why' about 50lbs into this and I'm still working on it

:flowerforyou:

MaryHuckleberry

Pretty cool looking at our tickers right in a row--and gives me all sorts of inspiration.