New... and struggling.

akillerqueen

I started dieting again a couple of weeks ago. I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. What was worse, though, was that I didn't like how I felt. In truth, the scale didn't read the worst number. 129 pounds. I've been heavier. However, I have also looked and felt better. Ideally, I would like to be down to 110 pounds but I am also trying to tone my butt, thighs and hips (major problem area for me) so the number on the scale means less to me. My biggest problem with eating has always been laziness. I KNOW eating certain foods will not help me but I would rather eat a bowl of cereal and call it a day than eat a healthier meal that takes longer to prepare. Sometimes just that one bowl of cereal is all I eat for the day. Sometimes I eat just a piece of bread. Other times I eat too much. Always processed. I am a fairly active person so I know that's why I wasn't THAT overweight. But I know this inconsistent eating style is probably what was hurting me. Dairy is terrible on me. I feel queasy and get a headache. I'd eat it because a cup of greek yogurt was easy to get a hold of fast. Bread is my enemy. I LOVE it. I also eat too much of it. So... I've cut bread and dairy out of my life. I'm not saying forever. We just need some time apart. Now how do I go from under eating to over eating to balancing it out? I feel like I am eating more (often) but maybe not enough calories?

I am currently 124 pounds. I am 5'0".

For breakfast...
Half cup of oatmeal (plain, added cinnamon, sometimes a few craisins or raisins)
Two eggs (with or without yolk, it varies) (or i have chicken as a protein)
A piece of fruit (usually a plum, strawberry or half of a banana)

Sometimes I make a smoothie. Half a cup of oatmeal, egg whites from a carton, a couple of strawberries and half a banana.

Snack varies...
I'll either eat a piece of fruit or have a vegetable (spinach, broccoli or carrots lately) and a protein or a carb (oatmeal, potato, rice or yam/sweet potato). I might make a spinach salad with a little avocado and chicken.

Lunch is always a protein, carb and a vegetable.

Snack... again, it varies.

Dinner...

Carb, vegetable and protein.

My carbs are (usually) half a cup. My proteins are 2 oz. My vegetables are ideally a cup to two cups.

At the end of the day I often fail to meet the 1200 calorie suggestion. Especially when I factor in my activity (Walking/Occasional swimming/Workouts). I can't fit a fifth meal in. I'll feel sick or I'll end up eating really late. I just don't want to hurt myself in the long run by eating too few calories. I eat every few hours. Should I add more carb and protein portions?

Sorry if this is too long of a post. I felt like I needed to vent and own up to my food mistakes.