Why don't I care enough about myself?

TelleBelles

Basically I have realised that I obviously don't care much about myself or else I would exercise more and eat clean. My clothes don't fit, I am not happy, I try and please my partner, going to the pub of an evening, which leads to the inevitable bad food choices. I don't know why I just cannot stick to a healthier way of life for more than a coupe of days! It's not that I am oblivious, I wish I was, but I can't stick to the "better path".

Any advice would be appreciated as am so down about it all.

YF92

Well your realization is wrong, and here's why: You're on this site, which means you care. You care about your partner.

What you don't lack is care. What you lack is motivation.

Imagine yourself 1 year ago. Did you think about losing weight? Cause I think you did. That one year flew quickly didn't it?
Now imagine yourself 1 year from now if you stick to your plan. Wouldn't you look better, be healthier?

Sometimes when you think it cant be done, its helpful to look at other people's transformations. They weren't special, they were exactly the same as you. They probably even went what you're going through now.

Lastly, it helps to think less and do more in some matters, so say tomorrow put in more effort in your diet instead of thinking about it.

edit: 35 lbs is not much. You can do it

opalsqueak007

Hi there.
I have about the same amount of weight to lose as you. I do know how you feel and how hard it is. For me, it has to be a life change, and I have to plan all my meals and have the food in the house ready. If I try and wing it, I fail. I eat only fresh food and a bit of wholemeal bread, rather than the junk I ate before. I feel so much better for that and I think you will as well. Please add me as a friend if you are looking for any more x You are worth the effort

Spreyton22K

Hi there,

I have to agree with YF 92, you DO care but you are struggling to translate that 'care' into actions that are going to help you achieve all the list of ideas in your profile.

Maybe you are just stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment and your vision of what you want for yourself has become clouded. I have found in the past when I have hit barriers (to anything) writing down the Pros - Cons and Goals in list form helpful.
A. It can be a boost to see just how many changes you HAVE made.
B. Gives a bit more clarity in regards the HOW TO and WHAT'S NEXT. ie. You want to run.....what do you need to do to make that happen.

Spending time with your partner and doing things together that are enjoyable is admirable but if it translates to you blowing out your calorie goals or not feeling up to exercising perhaps it's time to sit and have a heart to heart with your Man and tell him about your dreams and invite him to join you in other pursuits.....something like Couch to 5K may work.

Motivation is overrated in my opinion.....commitment and determination are really your allies during any life changes.....if you REALLY want this for yourself you WILL find a way.

All the best.

baconslave

Motivation is overrated in my opinion.....commitment and determination are really your allies during any life changes.....if you REALLY want this for yourself you WILL find a way.

This! I had to really decide I was going to change things forever. And since then I have made a million little choices every single day. Choices that keep me on my determined path. Every time the family had pizza, candy, chips, I decided anew each time that, though I could eat that, I WON'T. Every time I didn't feel like working out, I did it anyway.

I'm determined to succeed. I am committed to my new way of life. I want it bad and won't settle for anything less. That is the attitude you need to adopt. Every day. Every food decision. Every opportunity to blow off exercise.

Do you want it bad enough? That's the question you need to answer.

brenn24179

I think it is easy to think about our man and not ourselves. You need to love yourself and put yourself first and ask yourself what is in this for me (Faith Hill's song) We also do this with our children. Another thing, it is a lot of work losing weight and you can talk about it but you have to be willing to do the work. Log those calories, make up your mind to not go over and tell yourself I have to take care of myself. Then you will lose the weight and be much happier. Yes, you can do it, put yourself first!

I use to think I had to fix this full course meal for hubby but if I have eaten most of my calories for the day, I fix an egg sandwich, tuna salad, soup, something like for dinner. He doesn't mind at all and all this time I thought I had to do all that. He will be a lot happier also when you are happy.

115s

I'm never going to "eat clean" even if my man cooks for me. However, I have realized that just because you don't do something, does not mean that you don't care about yourself. You need to find the motivation and have support, otherwise it will be very difficult.

TelleBelles

Thank you for your support and thoughts, I appreciate it alot. There are lots of things to take on board, i just hope that I can and progress and not stay stuck in this rut!

Thanks again! x

embracethepainfitness

Have you thought of finding a workout buddy? Ya know, someone to hold you accountable and push you along? A local friend?

Like the others said, you do care about yourself. But finding motivation is hard. Motivation isn't something that just happens. I think determination comes first... You get determined to do it... Then you start... Then you have to find the motivation to keep going when you want to quit.

To find your motivation... find your 'Why". Your why is the reason that will propel you forward and keep you going. It's usually something deep, meaningful, and may make you shed a tear. Everyone's Why's are different... it take some time just reflecting to find it.

Good luck on your journey!! You can do this!

sparklefrogz

There are lots of things to take on board, i just hope that I can and progress and not stay stuck in this rut!

Just take it one day at a time. One meal at a time, if you must. You will never be perfect at this, none of us are. The secret to succeeding is just to get back up one more time than you fall down.

ETA: the language you're using tells me you don't trust that you'll succeed. You "hope" you "can"; but you feel "stuck". You're hedging your bets and expecting failure, probably hoping it therefore won't sting as much when it happens. (And you know it'll happen because no one's perfect and also it happened to you before.)

Know what? You clearly care about your weight and health, and I'd wager you know what specifics you want to take to improve both. You might be uncertain in your ability to lose and keep off the weight. But realize this: if you have a plan, all that remains is to execute it. It's pretty much just details. All you have to do is carry them out now.

You might be worried about whether you can trust yourself to actually lose those 35 lb. But if you can make and keep a promise to yourself that the next thing you eat will fit within your plan, well, that's all it takes really: a string of 'next things' eaten that fit within your plan.

And when you take a little tumble and one of those next things you eat isn't in your plan, it's okay. Just figure out why you ate it, what (if anything) you're going to do about it right now, and how you can handle that situation in the future.