What should I do?

BeautifulChaos27

I'm currently 20 and I live with my mom. She's a major junk food junky, doesn't know how to cook (so naturally, I don't either), and she buys all our food. Never are there fruits, veggies, or anything FRESH. Everything is out of a box, can, or frozen. Usually stuff found in boxes and cans, unless intentionally health meals like weight watchers or lean cuisine, have a lot of calories. HOWEVER those health meals are expensive, she goes for the cheapest things possible.

There are chips and cookies and other junk found everywhere on top of these boxed meals. I mean there is NOTHING healthy. Eating fruits and veggies go a lot further filling you up and take up a lot less calories in the process, compared to eating chips, hot pockets and mac and cheese.

I know I could continue eating these foods with little problem as long as I worked out enough. And there's my problem. As much as I am dying to work out (specifically going biking or swimming ), I can't. I've been in a year-long battle with workers comp to get a much needed knee surgery. Walking for any length of time proves painful so forget riding a bike, or starting C25K, or going for a much desired swim. Once I finally get surgery it appears to be another year from there just to recover. :noway:

I don't have the money to buy my own groceries, but I don't want to wait around another year+ either starving myself on a single hot pocket per meal or continuing to gain weight. I'm at about 240 something now, and I have managed to lose around 20 pounds - all of which I put on because of the injury so I'm only back where I started - (ticker needs fixing, haven't weight recently but I think I've gained) but that's taken 6 months and lots of low calorie days where I had something like a single 6 inch sub from subway all day long to make up for many other worse days.

I've tried talking to her about buying better foods, but if so much as a cup of yogurt or a single grape gets tossed due to going bad before being eaten she claims it was a "waste" and goes right back to buying the foods that take much longer to go bad. (In fact, we've got some stuff in the freezer that's been in there way past expiration but she refuses to throw out in hopes somebody will eventually eat it)

She's very overweight, as is my step-dad, as am I, as is my boyfriend who -WAS- SKINNY before moving in... living here just a year has caused much weight gain, and my little 10 year old brother is gaining weight real quick too. His metabolism is already slowing down. He's got moobs at the age of 10. Which I believe is roughly the age where my metabolism started giving up on me too, even though I played outside regularly, that's when I started packing on the pounds.

I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here with these horrible choices for food and I can't even work out to counter it. :sad:

thegreatcanook

How frustrating for you!!! Stick to your calorie goals and do your best! Add me if you'd like!

wissabear

How about frozen vegetables? They are low cal as long as you don't get the ones with all the sauces and are just as good for you as fresh. Its not a total solution, but a bag of frozen green beans or broccoli will help with that tiny hot pocket meal!

meshashesha2012

how about you offer to make the meals and do the grocery shopping for her?

and

I've tried talking to her about buying better foods, but if so much as a cup of yogurt or a single grape gets tossed due to going bad before being eaten she claims it was a "waste" and goes right back to buying the foods that take much longer to go bad. (In fact, we've got some stuff in the freezer that's been in there way past expiration but she refuses to throw out in hopes somebody will eventually eat it)

and i dont blame her. you ask her to buy thins but dont eat them, why should she buy them? eat them. it takes yogurt 2 weeks to go bad. it takes fresh stuff like 10 days to go bad in my fridge. that's more than enough time to get eaten (unless you forget it's there)

FatFreeFrolicking

Does she buy frozen veggies? There's nothing wrong with frozen veggies. Some say they are better than fresh and cheaper. They last for a long time, too.

Also, do you have a job? If not, can you get one so you can buy groceries for yourself?

meshashesha2012

wait i read better.. you and your BF live there and you're expecting your mommy to be your cook?? c'mon now put your big girl panties on and start pitching in

stephgas

that's a tough situation. could you offer to start helping with food shopping and cooking, and start getting some healthier things? there are so many recipes online now, some even with photos. sure, it's possible to lose weight on that crappy food by just not eating anything. but what kind of life is that? and how deficient might you be in some vitamins/minerals?

something that i've always shopped by is that frozen without sauce is as good as fresh when it comes to fruit/veg. and they hold for quite some time. a simple meal that i've started making is veggie udon. for two people, i use about 4oz of udon noodles and one bag of frozen steam-in-the-bag mixed veg (broccoli, snap peas, carrots, water chestnuts). i warm a bit of sesame oil in a skillet, add some garlic (i use jarred minced garlic), mix in the veg and heat for a few minutes. in another bowel i whisk together some rice vinegar and some soy sauce - 1tbsp each? - and then toss the udon noodles, veggies, and rice vinegar/soy sauce together. you can put a bit of sriracha sauce in the mix too. takes about 15 minutes to throw together and is pretty cheap.

tesstcool

Frozen veggies, canned veggies, tuna, frozen fish, rice, hummus, protein bars, healthy cereals...ask for these items.

DonM46

I don't care for yogurt, but my wife loves the stuff. She gets the Light or Light & Fit style which is lower in calories.
Don't let that grape shrivel. Fruits are good, even tho' most are high in carbs & sugar. Still better than 'junk' food.
Eat the good stuff first, and remark (not complain). that 'we're out of ......' to encourage replacement, and to show that if healthier food is purchased, it will NOT be wasted.
Chips? Try Special K Cracker Chips. Takes about 25 or so to get 100 calories. Several flavors, but my favorite is sour cream & onion. I don't care for the popcorn flavor.
How about a shopping list? Include lettuce, carrots, celery, etc to make a good salad. Get regular carrots, not the baby carrots, cheaper. Get a stalk of celery, not the hearts, cheaper. Wrap it in foil & it will stay crisp for weeks. Wait for tomatoes to go on sale before buying; no sense paying two or three bucks for vine-ripened tomatoes because Romas will be on sale sometime soon for 70 cents. Avoid the bagged salad stuff -- it will last only a few days before getting mushy & brown. Throw in an onion sometimes. Get yellow instead of white or red; cheaper.
Best of luck to you

lisabinco

wait i read better.. you and your BF live there and you're expecting your mommy to be your cook?? c'mon now put your big girl panties on and start pitching in

Yeah I just re-read too...aww hayl no. This is one of those "you're an adult now, time to take charge" times. Big Girl panties time!

You had me in the first two lines: "I'm currently 20 and I live with my mom. She's a major junk food junky, doesn't know how to cook (so naturally, I don't either), ..."
At 20, you're getting a little too old to be blaming parents for your life's situation. At 20, there's no excuse for why you have not taught yourself to cook, that you have not taught yourself to cook healthy meals for yourself. Another poster had a great suggestion: start pitching in and helping out. It is indeed Big Girl Panties time.

jboccio90

Learn how to cook and offer to cook for everyone. Ask your mom for a budget of how much you can spend per week on healthier options to cook dinner a few times, go on pinterest and look up cheap healthy meals for ideas.

Although my mom cooked a lot and I had some basic skills I didn't really start cooking until I moved out when I was 18.

You can find the answer to any cooking question on the internet.

1princesswarrior

Why can't you go shopping with you mom? And come up with ideas for cooking together? Bake instead of fry when you can. I bake frozen french fries. And I agree with frozen vegetables, that's about all I buy.

Get a food scale and start weighing your solids and measuring your liquids to get an idea of how much you are actually eating. Measuring cups are not accurate for solids. What you eat is important but how much you eat is more important. My diary is public and you can look at all the foods I eat, I don't consider food as bad or good, it's just food. But there is fast food, processed food, non-processed food, lots of ice cream this week, etc. Everything is also accurately weighed or entered into my recipes so I know what a serving size is.

And I'm sorry to be blunt but it sounds like you are making excuses for not exercising unless doctors have told you not to. Actually an exercise bike, elliptical or swimming is very little to no impact on your knee. C25K is probably not the right thing for you right now and it may never be the right thing because of your injury. I have friends that ride bikes and have just had total knee replacements and friends that do water aerobics and water jogging due to severe arthritis. I've had two knee surgeries, lower back surgery and neck surgery and I get out and walk, run, ride horses, and do barn work. And my neck surgery was to put my broken neck back together. I started with walking and riding, eventually got into doing barn work before my neck injury. After my neck injury I got back into barn work immediately when the surgeon said I could because I had to take care of my horse, and riding again. I didn't start running until last summer after I got all my strength back (18 mos after neck surgery). I still have to wear my monster knee brace when I run for stabilization and I still have to ice my knee every night but it's worth it to me.

BeautifulChaos27

I've tried talking to her about buying better foods, but if so much as a cup of yogurt or a single grape gets tossed due to going bad before being eaten she claims it was a "waste" and goes right back to buying the foods that take much longer to go bad. (In fact, we've got some stuff in the freezer that's been in there way past expiration but she refuses to throw out in hopes somebody will eventually eat it)

and i dont blame her. you ask her to buy thins but dont eat them, why should she buy them? eat them. it takes yogurt 2 weeks to go bad. it takes fresh stuff like 10 days to go bad in my fridge. that's more than enough time to get eaten (unless you forget it's there)

My mom thinks certain things go bad way before they do. Pizza for one, if it's left out for an hour before its put into the fridge she seems to think it'll kill you if you eat it. She's the same way with yogurt, sits in there for more than a couple days and it has to be bad even if the label says otherwise, she's forced this thinking upon me and it's a habit I'm trying hard to get out of. Something just seems unappealing about couple day old yogurt, even though I know it should be fine. As for fresh stuff... it's much quicker in ours. For something like grapes they usually go bad within a few days.

Not to mention I'm the only one who ever eats this stuff if it's bought, I can't eat a big bag of grapes in like 3 days by myself.

BeautifulChaos27

wait i read better.. you and your BF live there and you're expecting your mommy to be your cook?? c'mon now put your big girl panties on and start pitching in

She doesn't cook. She never has... I grew up eating cereal, mac and cheese, spaghettio's, and goldfish. It's taken my boyfriend the past 5 years we've been together to help me with how picky of an eater I am. We cook for ourselves, but we cook what's available. aka the stuff she buys, which as I've stated, is nothing healthy.

BeautifulChaos27

And I'm sorry to be blunt but it sounds like you are making excuses for not exercising unless doctors have told you not to.

They have. T_T

BeautifulChaos27

And now a general reply to everybody who suggests frozen veggies/shopping lists.

I've tried going with her, I've tried making lists, she always throws what I pick back out of the cart or doesn't pay attention to what I put down. I want to learn how to cook, but boxed meal cooking isn't the same and doesn't require the same type of skills. Cooking from scratch would be nice but how does one do so without the ingredients she doesn't buy? She won't do frozen veggies because nobody in the house would touch them aside from me. She only likes to buy food everybody would eat, and she is never the one who cooks anyway. My step-dad makes the box meals, she messes up even trying to do that (no joke).

I do *technically* have a job, but as I said I'm on workers comp, I get what they give me and it isn't much. It's just enough to cover my car insurance/gas/the random repairs, and food for my cat - of which I got way before I got hurt and no I'm not giving her up just to save some extra money. The money I'd save from giving her away would buy me a couple meals a week and it isn't worth it to me to lose her.

ETA : and no I can't get rid of my car either. I live in the middle of nowhere. No busses, no taxi's, no stores within walking or biking range, nothing. I legitimately need it.

BeautifulChaos27

At 20, you're getting a little too old to be blaming parents for your life's situation. At 20, there's no excuse for why you have not taught yourself to cook, that you have not taught yourself to cook healthy meals for yourself. Another poster had a great suggestion: start pitching in and helping out. It is indeed Big Girl Panties time.

How do I teach myself to cook with the food we don't have?

maidentl

She's the same way with yogurt, sits in there for more than a couple days and it has to be bad even if the label says otherwise, she's forced this thinking upon me and it's a habit I'm trying hard to get out of. Something just seems unappealing about couple day old yogurt, even though I know it should be fine.

Oh lord, I just ate yogurt tonight that was past its expiration date and I lived to tell the tale.