I've just had it.......

wonderwoman234

My guess is that you eat for emotional reasons. You also mention the word "addiction" in relation to food. You also talk several times about loving all the accolades and attention you got when you were thin. Perhaps you are trying to fill a void with food? Maybe when you were thin, you were trying to fill a void with attention?

I would suggest reading about emotional eating and maybe exploring if your use of food is a form of addiction. Until you figure out that piece I think it might be difficult to stay on track.

You can definitely lose weight while enjoying all foods - cookies, pizza, etc. But if you have a perfectionistic and/or black and white way of looking at things, you may find it hard to allow yourself to eat all foods in moderation without feeling like you are doing something "bad" or less than perfect.

Just some thoughts.....only you know yourself and what may be behind the out of control eating and self-loathing. You can get better but you might need some help.

j4nash

get rid of the junk food in the house, find some good music and go work out and find a reason to keep going at it, although based upon your frustration I think you found it.

j4nash

btw, the beginning of working out sucks, absolutely sucks! but, after a few weeks working out becomes easier, just have to get over the hurdle.

Peloton73

I am a toughie and I NEED TO hear it like it is.. I don't need sugar coating.... and I am not easily offended by someone telling me straight..... I think I need to hear this... I feel people have tip toed around me way to much and not to my benefit!!!!! I need someone to get all military on me!!! Stop telling me how good I look after having x amount of kids.. just because my cute tops cover all what is underneath and you think I couldn't possibly weigh as much as I am telling you... yes, i hide it well.... im tired of hiding it...... I think you get the point

Your opening post really resonated with me. I thought it was me writing it. That was me for quite a few years. I didn't have the mental check valve that told me when enough was enough. It's like being an addict of another substance where one is too many and ten is never enough. Like you, my doctor warned me of the impending complications I was heading for. Heck, I lost my father from complications from diabetes and I still found solace in a large pepperoni pizza and 4 Lipton Sweet Teas a night.

It's like you know what you're doing, you feel like you know how to stop it but the check valve in your brain gets stuck and you dive into the bag of chips. Everyday is a new day in our heads. Then we wake up, maybe we're late for work due to the restless sleep, so we hit the McD's drive through because it's faster and we continue the cycle of food depression. I'm with you. I can see the pain in your words. I started to get my issue under control and then got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Everything the doctor told me was going to happen was beginning to happen. The diabetes was the last straw and I haven't looked back.

I had a long post detailing how I overcome my eating issues but deleted it. I got skewered yesterday in another thread for suggesting to a poster they cut out fast food altogether (oh the horror!). I'm not on here to cause a stir so if you'd like to know how I overcame the exact same feelings and triggers you are having, shoot me a message and I'll be happy to write you privately.

I will say publicly that saying, "tomorrow is a new day" or "I'll get back on it tomorrow" is never going to work if you're not truly committed. And by committed, you look at the cookie and tell yourself one cookie is too many. It's going to take a lot more than that.

I wish you the best. I truly do.

pennyk54166

OP you sound totally overwhelmed. And you sound like a perfectionist (I am one also.) All or nothing. Take a deep breath. And get back to the basics. No matter what NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP. And if you had a mistake with food, log it and forget it and move on. Don't keep sabotaging yourself the rest of the day. Why wait until tomorrow? There isn't a law that says "changes start at midnight." You can do this. Be an example for your family. Spend time with your family doing something active. Fresh air does amazing things for the mind. And when you take the math out of weight loss...it is all mental. Rather than look at all the things that brought you down today...remind yourself of the wonderful things you take for granted. When it's impossible to stop at one cookie, you don't need them in the house. They are like crack. Even if they are "for the kids." Find a different option. We all have trigger foods. I don't eliminate them. I don't keep them in the house and when I really want it, I buy one portion. It's a special treat and then it's done.
Be honest with yourself. Log the food. See where you are after a few days. Find some substitutions or find a way to limit portions. Stop putting yourself down. You are stronger than you realize.
Please feel free to add me. I am always looking for friends!! Chin Up!!!!

BunnybeeJG

Me too... I just added Super HD Cellucor to my diet... and i've noticed its WAY helping with the appetite thing. Look into it?? I know they sell it at GNC but its mostly B vitamins and caffine... i'd look into it and see if this is maybe something you can try as an additive. I refuse to believe these jerks out there that say everything is a placebo and that if you put your mind to it you can do it.

This is not easy. I've been taking this for 4 days now. I've noticed I'm eating less, with a little more energy that isnt jittery (unless you're dumb like me and think drinking a bunch of coffee is safe lol)

Not everything out there is made to work for everyone so its just a suggestion. I feel the desperation thing though, I only have until december to realisitically lose 40 LBS and unrealisically double that :-P

Changing your diet is a must too but to be honest, that's not the answer for everyone. I mainly drink only water, and I eat mostly healthy foods not a lot of sugar or salts and I'm still struggling I need to get down to about 180-200 by DEC and right now i'm teetering between 240 and 245. It sucks.

Mr_Knight

when will the wake up call come?????? when i have a freakin heart attack and laying the hospital bed and then saying "I wish I did more when I had the chance"????????

Unlikely. Most people who end in that situation take whatever medical care is available, and don't change much of anything.

Seems to me that you don't really want this. Which is totally cool. In which case you are probably better off accepting who you are and not beating yourself up over it.

PS There is no "wake up call" other than the one you give yourself. External motivation is neither the problem nor the solution here.

Serah87

OP read: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Good luck and don't give up, fight for it!!! :flowerforyou:

Kalikel

You aren't ready. You still want to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

Do that. Enjoy it while you do it. Don't sit around eating and being miserable about it! Be happy with your choice!!

When you are ready, you won't want to do that anymore. You'll want to not eat cookies and crap. You'll want to exercise.

Right now, you want to be fat more than you want to go through the process of losing weight.

When you REALLY want to lose - not just be thin, but go through the process of losing! - you'll do it. Because nothing will be able to stop you.

Until then, freaking enjoy the cookies!!!

Do what makes you happy and be happy when you do it.

alienbabyjen

You aren't ready. You still want to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

Do that. Enjoy it while you do it. Don't sit around eating and being miserable about it! Be happy with your choice!!

When you are ready, you won't want to do that anymore. You'll want to not eat cookies and crap. You'll want to exercise.

Right now, you want to be fat more than you want to go through the process of losing weight.

When you REALLY want to lose - not just be thin, but go through the process of losing! - you'll do it. Because nothing will be able to stop you.

Until then, freaking enjoy the cookies!!!

Do what makes you happy and be happy when you do it.

^^ this