Navigating office politics and snack food

aethre

I'm currently doing temp work, having taken paid exit from a job I'd been in for years earlier in the year... been working in the same office but my hours are hit and miss, but that's okay for now.

But the SNACKS!

I'm constantly being offered coffee, tea, home-baked brownies, cakes, biscuits...

I can say no to an extent, but being as I'm angling for something permanent, I really don't want to come across as snobby or stand-off-ish... I can't say no to everything, especially home-baked stuff. It's a nightmare! Not to mention, if people know you're having a rough day, they're more likely to offer sweet stuff out of sympathy.... and I'm more likely to say 'yes please!' Not to mention that thing when a Crunchie or a cherry bakewell (major weakness!!) randomly anonymously appears on your desk after a tough customer!

Not to mention that I do tend to do my own home-baking as a means of making friends/leaving an impression where I need to.

I'm not looking for a tirade about how food-based or sugar-centric our society is. I'm aware and I'm okay with that. Food is delicious and as humans we like to share pleasurable experiences where possible. But if anyone has any tips for how to at least cut back a bit without coming across as rude, please let me know because it's really bugging me today!

BigT555

"no thank you"

i get offered stuff all the time, just smile and politely decline, they wont think your rude.

cwolfman13

It is ok to consume these kind of things from time to time...so you don't have to say no all of the time...balance out your yesses and your nos.

JoRocka

just say no thanks- you're already covered for food.
or no thanks- I'm not hungry.
no thanks I brought my own snack.

there are a million ways to say no thank you- but they all begin or just end with "no thank you"

DataSeven

Just say 'no thanks.' I work in an office where there's constantly food around, and after a little while they won't ask you anymore.

dopeysmelly

Just say 'no thanks.' I work in an office where there's constantly food around, and after a little while they won't ask you anymore.

This is what I do. I haven't said "yes" to snacks/desserts/random sweet stuff at the office for a couple of years and no one bothers me about it any more and neither are they offended by my refusal.

It all comes down to how to say it IMO. You don't need to justify why you are refusing (that's your business), but I always say no with a kind and friendly smile and a pleasant demeanor.

Accepting is just something I don't choose to do any more. If I want a home-baked goodie, I make my own (which are much better, of course!).

Holly_Roman_Empire

Okay, so I say "no thank you" quite a bit, and there is always this ONE PERSON (it's the same person every time) that asks if I'm on a diet, or jokes about me not needing to resist foods, etc.

One time I flat-out, without smiling, told him that I didn't feel it was necessary for me to divulge personal information about my eating habits.

I said it nicely, but it definitely got the point across. He hasn't talked about food to me since.

Happymelz

I worked as a temp most of last year for a major company. They had luncheons at least twice a month and office birthday parties all the time.

I had to learn to either fit it in, OR...take what was offered and pretend to eat it and then toss it out when no one was looking.
(wasteful, but wasting junk food doesn't seem all that bad.)

seltzermint555

I don't say no to everything. But I am much pickier than I used to be.

Chick-Fil-A breakfast biscuits? No.
Glazed donuts? No.
Substandard cupcakes? No.
See's dark chocolates after I ate a salad & tuna for lunch? Yes...but I'll take 1 per day for 5 days, not 5.
Banana bread when I just ate a big breakfast? No.
Random Halloween candy? No.
Strawberry rhubarb pie with fresh fruit from my coworker's garden? Yes please, I can work that into my calories for the day even if it means 3 oz broiled catfish and roasted radishes for dinner.

That's how I operate and it works for me.

Fortunately at my current office there are honestly not a lot of treats or dinners etc. When there IS an office lunch, though, I find it important to be a part of that. In the past someone who was in my position kept a very strict diet and refused to attend work related meals and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it really affected the view of her as a poor team player. I go along and no one cares if make my lunch from a chunk of pulled pork and some veggies while they're piling on ribs and BBQ beans and dinner rolls...the important thing is that I attend. We all have to make our own calls with this stuff, though.

tulips_and_tea

Okay, so I say "no thank you" quite a bit, and there is always this ONE PERSON (it's the same person every time) that asks if I'm on a diet, or jokes about me not needing to resist foods, etc.

One time I flat-out, without smiling, told him that I didn't feel it was necessary for me to divulge personal information about my eating habits.

I said it nicely, but it definitely got the point across. He hasn't talked about food to me since.

Good response! I believe in "NO" is a full sentence. The key is say, "No thank you." and stop talking. Period. (In your case here, I agree a further response was a good idea.) In general, though, if you stop talking they have nothing else to go on. They can ask other questions, but I feel no need to respond. Or, just change the subject.

Holly_Roman_Empire

I don't say no to everything. But I am much pickier than I used to be.

Chick-Fil-A breakfast biscuits? No.
Glazed donuts? No.
Substandard cupcakes? No.
See's dark chocolates after I ate a salad & tuna for lunch? Yes...but I'll take 1 per day for 5 days, not 5.
Banana bread when I just ate a big breakfast? No.
Random Halloween candy? No.
Strawberry rhubarb pie with fresh fruit from my coworker's garden? Yes please, I can work that into my calories for the day even if it means 3 oz broiled catfish and roasted radishes for dinner.

That's how I operate and it works for me.

Fortunately at my current office there are honestly not a lot of treats or dinners etc. When there IS an office lunch, though, I find it important to be a part of that. In the past someone who was in my position kept a very strict diet and refused to attend work related meals and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it really affected the view of her as a poor team player. I go along and no one cares if make my lunch from a chunk of pulled pork and some veggies while they're piling on ribs and BBQ beans and dinner rolls...the important thing is that I attend. We all have to make our own calls with this stuff, though.

Sorry, the cupcakes one made me snicker. I have that rule now too. It has to practically be gourmet or I feel like I'm just eating a so-so cupcake for nothing.

happysherri

We have pitch ins and snacks all the time. Everyone knows that I love fitness. Mostly I pass em up, unless it's a splurge day.

If it's a pitch in I will make low calorie recipes and bring them in. After I tell people it's low cal, it motivates some.

poohbear1958

Our office is always loaded up with biscuits, cakes, sweets and the like but I have no problem with it. Admittedly not having a sweet tooth helps but even when savouries are available I say no and stick to no

No_Finish_Line

"no thank you"

i get offered stuff all the time, just smile and politely decline, they wont think your rude.

in principle, i agree with you, but in reality not every one is so mature.

probably no one is SO immature that refusing something they baked/cooked would really effect how they view you as an employee, but you simply never know.

i can remember one time when i was first highered... i declined a piece of carrot cake only later to find out that the woman who offered it to me, the director of the office, also made it.

i instanly regretted it lol. but maybe its just that fact that I was (and the OP is) new that made us a bit self conscious.

SuperVixen2B

I always make sure to coo about how thoughtful it was of them, like "OHHH my goodness, that's so sweet of you, thank you! ...but no, I'm good".

Never had a problem with that approach - they always seem happy that I recognize their effort, even if I don't taste it.

GothyFaery

You can tell people you're allergic to things but this can come back to bite you. If you tell them you're allergic to nuts someone might make something "just for you" and it would be even more rude to turn that down. Also if they ever catch you near your "allergy" food they will freak out.

Sometimes honesty is best. Just say you're watching what you eat and you have a special treat at home so you can't partake in any of their goodies today, but maybe next time.

jesiann2014

"That is very thoughtful. Thank you so much." This does not mean you have accepted the offer. You are just thankful for the thought. If they continue to press it, say "Maybe in a little while." If they continue to press it, then they are just jacking with you to see if they can break you. That's when you say, "I think I'll pass. But thanks."

It takes discipline then a little more discipline. Then just when you think you have it beat, you have to give it a little more discipline.

GothyFaery

As far as wanting to share treats you made, go for it if you want. I often make sweets I don't even like and bring them into work. I like baking and my co-workers like eating. I don't have to eat it just because I made it.

SuperVixen2B

You can tell people you're allergic to things but this can come back to bite you. If you tell them you're allergic to nuts someone might make something "just for you" and it would be even more rude to turn that down. Also if they ever catch you near your "allergy" food they will freak out.

Sometimes honesty is best. Just say you're watching what you eat and you have a special treat at home so you can't partake in any of their goodies today, but maybe next time.

My husband once told a pushy baking co-worker, "I'm allergic to cake...I eat it and I get fat".

JosieRawr

"no thank you"

i get offered stuff all the time, just smile and politely decline, they wont think your rude.

The smile is important here!
You can do it. Eating their snacks does not affect your job worthiness. And as long as you're nice about the refusal, they likely won't mind.

Fit_Fox88

I have gotten in the habit of declining office birthday treats. If I'm craving something sweet I'll have a few dark chocolate M&Ms or a mini candy bar. We always have snack stuff on hand, but we also have fresh fruit and granola bars (that I pick out because I do the ordering :bigsmile:) If we have a pitch in lunch for the holidays I'll always bring something and I indulge a little, but I will eat more veggies and salads, a decent serving of meat and small tastings of pastas and potatoes and casseroles.

ETA: my "no thank you" around here always goes over well. Nobody says anything, and if they would happen to I wouldn't care b/c it's not their choice whether I eat or not and I would flat out tell them that

F00LofaT00K

If it's super often, like you can nearly guarantee you'll be offered something each week, maybe reduce your calories by like 30 each day and then say yes once per week. Or save a few hundred calories every Friday or Tuesday, whatever and if they're offered on that day, allow yourself to say yes. I eat a bit less than I "want" to because I know something is going to come up on the weekends and I'll go overboard. By eating 2000 cals per day instead of 2300, I'm still losing weight even when I get a random invite for drinks or dinner on a Saturday night. Different things work for different people, but this has been working well for me.

Happymelz

Strawberry rhubarb pie with fresh fruit from my coworker's garden? Yes please, I can work that into my calories for the day even if it means 3 oz broiled catfish and roasted radishes for dinner.

I would work an entire strawberry rhubarb pie into my day if I could!

Elsie_Brownraisin

I don't say no to everything. But I am much pickier than I used to be.

Chick-Fil-A breakfast biscuits? No.
Glazed donuts? No.
Substandard cupcakes? No.
See's dark chocolates after I ate a salad & tuna for lunch? Yes...but I'll take 1 per day for 5 days, not 5.
Banana bread when I just ate a big breakfast? No.
Random Halloween candy? No.
Strawberry rhubarb pie with fresh fruit from my coworker's garden? Yes please, I can work that into my calories for the day even if it means 3 oz broiled catfish and roasted radishes for dinner.

That's how I operate and it works for me.

Fortunately at my current office there are honestly not a lot of treats or dinners etc. When there IS an office lunch, though, I find it important to be a part of that. In the past someone who was in my position kept a very strict diet and refused to attend work related meals and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it really affected the view of her as a poor team player. I go along and no one cares if make my lunch from a chunk of pulled pork and some veggies while they're piling on ribs and BBQ beans and dinner rolls...the important thing is that I attend. We all have to make our own calls with this stuff, though.

Good approach. I tend to steer clear of the those wodgy of spongy cupcake things or shop bought millionaire's shortbread and stuff. I usually make a beeline for the donuts though.

You could bring your own snacks in and leave them out as well, so you look like you're joining in, but only eating what you planned to eat anyway. I bring in baked stuff, or biscuits I like. I was going to eat some anyway, but it looks a bit more sociable.

aethre

I appreciate the 'just say no' thoughts, but sometimes it's really not quite as easy as that.... lol... Early on in the job, I refused offers of icecream from and treats from the bakery a couple of doors down, and I did get the impression that a couple of people were offended... 'You know I'm offering to buy it for you, right...?' I'm doing temp work. I have a mortgage. I live alone. If I have a shot at something permanent, I can't really afford to be messing around with this stuff. Around here, it really is impolite to decline a 'gift', even if that gift is an offer of food or drink. (I and many others have had stages of strategically 'forgetting' drinks in random spots at staff parties or weddings in the past, but that's a much easier strategy at a party than in an office of four people with a gooey home-baked brownie!)

So I guess the key here is to work some calories into my day (maybe every second day?) as a cake allowance, and being sure to stick to it. Might need to figure out some lower-cal dinners but it's something to think about, definitely.

Thanks for your help!

2kellymike

My co-workers know I've worked really hard to lose my weight. They also get a kick out of my method of resisting - for me, it's usually satisfying enough to just smell it. So they often bring a treat by for me to smell, knowing I likely won't have one anyway. It's all in good fun.

wkwebby

You can tell people you're allergic to things but this can come back to bite you. If you tell them you're allergic to nuts someone might make something "just for you" and it would be even more rude to turn that down. Also if they ever catch you near your "allergy" food they will freak out.

Sometimes honesty is best. Just say you're watching what you eat and you have a special treat at home so you can't partake in any of their goodies today, but maybe next time.

My husband once told a pushy baking co-worker, "I'm allergic to cake...I eat it and I get fat".

That is awesome! :bigsmile:

40andFindingFitness

I know what you mean. Some people won't take "no" for an answer. When I come across those folks I take the item then I place it in one of the break rooms. That way 1) I am not wasting it and 2) someone just got a treat. Good job on staying strong.

bugaboo_sue

Say "no thank you" or take the baked treat and toss it in the garbage later on. I know that the latter is rude but you shouldn't feel obligated to eat something that you do not want.

I worked in an environment where my department would have pot-lucks and pizza parties once every few months. Sometimes I'd partake in the pizza (if I didn't bring lunch) never the pot lucks (I have this thing about wondering how clean someone's house is, especially after seeing how gross their cubicles were and how they never cleaned up after themselves in the coffee room) or I'd just eat my own food. When we would have company meetings and there were treats after wards or even the annual ice cream social I would go to it, be social but never partake in the treats. After a while people got that I didn't want to eat that stuff.

If it's an office lunch type of thing go to it and try to eat something that fits in your daily calories and if treats are offered and they try to entice you by saying 'But I'm BUYING!" again, gently decline the offer. If you can't feel that you can do that then accept the treat, bring it home and eat it at another time.

Asherah29

I'm a food filled office worker too. My approach rather than totally say no to the food (unless its something I don't really care for) is to take small servings of it. You don't have to eat everything that is offered - although it is tempting! lol

enterdanger

I have the same problem at my work. It is always someone's birthday, baby shower, team building event.

My solution, I told my co-workers that I'm tired of being fat so I have to be careful what I eat. I'm not a private person at all and I'm visibly chubby. It made them uncomfortable when I stated it so baldly. People didn't know what to say so they stopped offering. I don't think anyone was offended because it was obviously the truth. If you go this route, don't use nice words like "diet" "rubinesque" "slimming down". Put it out there flat out. "I'm tired of being fat, so while your food looks delicious I have to pass." lol