Constant cycle of starting over every Monday. Help?

danahouseholderr

I've been struggling with my weight my entire life. Last year I decided to finally make the change and really dedicate myself to fitness and maintaining a better diet. I lost about 20-25lbs and was about 130 lbs and in the best shape of my life so far and was only about 10 lbs away from my goal. And then I graduated college and had to get a real job and ever since I just completely fell off the wagon and I've gained nearly 30 lbs. For the last 4 months I've been struggling with trying to lose this weight again. I get all excited and start fresh on Monday with my super healthy meal plan and my workout routines all planned. And by the end of the week I always have a "bad day" and fall back to my old habits like drinking a beer or glass of wine or going out to get something I shouldn't be eating. I'll do this and get depressed and try to start fresh again on Monday, and it ends up being a vicious cycle. I know what I'm supposed to do and I know how to do it, I'm not new to fitness or eating clean by any means, but I always seem to fall back to the cycle of ruining all the work I did that week and having to start over every single Monday.

I've been struggling with my weight and self image my entire life and I've finally had enough. I know I'm not obese or someone who needs to lose a whole lot, but I just feel trapped in this body that isn't really me that is holding me back from feeling confident and truly happy with myself. It drives me insane. I'm so hard on myself because of how much weight (no pun intended) I place on my appearance and my want to just be fit and look better. It's really starting to get to me and I just want to succeed but I'm beginning to feel like it's impossible. Does anyone have any advice for how to stop yoyo-ing and cut out this cycle once and for all and truly reach my goals of losing 30 lbs?

getfitalicious

Motivational Support and Accountability will help you out a lot. Feel free to add me as a friend.

evsplava

Have you tried working a cheat meal into your plan? I would plan it for Monday through Thursday to avoid it being more than one meal

choosing_fitness

Oh my goodness, can be friends!! Your post describes me exactly. My profile and image is filled in, just not public!

TheVirgoddess

First, you're lovely.

If you have a bad day or meal, you can't quit - you can't say "I'll start again Monday". There's no starting again, there is only continuing and brushing off a bad moment, instead of considering yourself "off the wagon". There is no wagon - there is only, your choices and your commitment.

If you enjoy beer, make it fit into your day occasionally. Don't plan out a "super healthy" week. Just eat and track your food for a bit, then figure out what the biggest food obstacles are for you, cut back on those. This isn't supposed to be salad and celery sticks, and you don't need to "eat clean" to be healthy, or lose weight (seriously, look at my diary). It's about enjoying food in moderation. Tackle your eating first, then worry about the working out. (The above is my opinion and approach to weight loss).

The biggest issue I see is you, giving up on yourself - don't do that. You're worth it. And losing 30 pounds won't make you magically happy or worthy.

Good luck.

MrGonzo05

I always seem to fall back to the cycle of ruining all the work I did that week and having to start over every single Monday.

Either get serious, or find a more productive hobby. This has to be important to you. Like a college degree, or a pet.

Jenna70

I think a lot of us have this problem to some extent. The answer is it's all about how bad you really want to reach your goal. There are always times when you will be faced with choices and have to decide to satisfy the I-want-it-right-now or just say no to whatever the temptation is. You have to believe denying yourself the immediate satisfaction is worth it in the end. I struggle with it myself. If I didn't I'd be a lot close to my goal by now. I try to follow the rule that says to ask yourself if what you are about to consume is going to get you closer to your goal or further away and visualize how good it would feel to reach my goal. It helps sometimes. Good luck to you!

healthygreek

Stop "dieting"!
Eat well, choose a deficit that won't cause you to "fall off".
Allow treats everyday.
Move your body.
It's that simple.

You can do it if you want to.
Put one foot in front of the other.
Do it!
Feed yourself the way you plan to feed yourself for the rest of your life.
When you reach the weight you're happy with-just eat a bit more of the things you've been eating all along.

lokepa

I used to be on the "gonna start Monday" kick for years myself... What stopped me from doing that was to just start the moment I felt it... Sunday, Thursday, whenever... if I "planned" to do it, then by the time that day came, I'd lost my motivation. So get up and go... you've been there before, so there's nothing new. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes... there is only today... and I don't know about you, but today seems like a pretty dang good day to make it happen!

michelleepotter

^ What they all said. Plan to have occasional treats, and when you do -- or even if you really screw up -- just keep going rather than starting over on Monday.

I like the part of the app that shows me the whole week. (Under "Nutrition," then pick the "Weekly" tab and look at the bar graph.) It really helps me keep my occasional screw-ups in perspective. Last week I went over 3 days, but I ended up under for the week and lost almost a pound. A couple weeks last month I ended up going over often enough that I was over for the week -- but when you realize that you had a planned deficit of 1750 for the week, and you only went over by 200-300, that's still losing weight!!

Rmfowler1990

I agree with everyone, you've got to make this important to you. I love ice cream so I make it for into my calories. I love beer I also make that fit. And you know what? I appreciate those things more now because they are less frequent (but still indulged in). If you have a "bad day" make the rest of the day as best you can and start fresh the next day. One thing that has helped me maintain this LIFESTYLE change is weighing in on Mondays, the weekend is gonna show. So I need to be fully responsible for what that number says. Good luck!

brenn24179

You have to believe it is possible to live another way. Log your calories, preplan. Don't have junk food in the house. Like others have said you have to want it. It is hard work and you have to be willing to do the hard work. You can do this, you can get your life back. We have to learn to manage stress without overeating and find other ways to comfort ourselves like when we get a new job. You have to care enough for yourself to say No to yourself, setting boundaries with yourself. Once you do this you wont have to start over on Monday. You will take care of yourself every day or if you make a mistake you will get right back on track. Love yourself.

cwolfman13

I think it's because you have this all or nothing kind of approach and thought process here...you drink a beer for example and this derails you? There's nothing wrong with drinking a beer...I drink plenty of beer and did so while I was losing weight.

There's not magic here...you just eat a little less and you move a little more...you don't have to suck on celery sticks and salads and do upteen million hours of exercise per week to lose weight. You can eat healthfully and eat enjoyably all at the same time...you don't seem to understand that.

I would also add that nobody is on 100% of the time...I've been around here going on two years...I lost 40 Lbs and I've been maintaining for over a year now without logging or anything...but that doesn't mean I'm spot on all of the time...I have good days and bad days...good weeks and bad weeks...you have to realize that this is all a part of life. It's not about starting over, it's about continuing on and realizing that this whole safari is going to have plenty of bumps and dumps along the way...that's life.

Ansin529

I work my cheat day in during the week (sometimes early and sometimes mid week). Clean in before cheat day and clean food in after...Because of my work schedule, I stick to a strict regiment through out the week... As I learn about new and refreshing (HEALTHY/NUTRITIONAL) meals, I try them out during the weekends...It gives me something to look forward to during the weekends when I have more time on my hands. If I want to cheat, this is when my desire is at it's strongest... I work out in the morning and I now workout in the evening (A thirty minute power walk) to get me through the tough times during the evening...After my workout is complete, I drink more water and prepare myself for the next day (ending the day just before my normal bed time)...

I am not sure if this will help... Good Luck... Find healthy food to meet your daily calorie goal... As you already know, it takes a substantial bit of healthy food to meet your goal, thus keeping you full longer...

betomxl

Thats why i always start at sunday!! I take care of what i eat sunday throu thursday..on friday i just eat a powerbar or some nuts so i can drink about 10 beers at night and eat some pizza and junk... On saturday its a shame hangover hehe... Its been working out

danahouseholderr

Thank you for all of your answers! Some of these have been very helpful. I just need to suck it up and really gain my will power back. I got close to my goal once before, I can do it again.

MelkaBielka

you absolutely can, just keep on trying. I'm just starting out myself in very much the same situation. Do so well during the week and then someone orders lunch and its all over. But it's not. I started pre planning my breakfast and lunch for work so that i'm not tempted to eat extra or eat crappy food that's close by or within easy reach. I even log my food the night before so during the day its already worked out, and if i want to add anything i have to log in, look at what's already there, and decide whether its worth it or not to add another 20 calories to snacks and suffer at dinner. Every little thing you can do to make the temptation seem way less awesome than it really is will help you.

MelkaBielka

*that 20 should have been 200*

Sharon_C

What's wrong with having a beer? Or a glass of wine? If you have the mindset that you're "not allowed" any of that then of course you're going to fail. Don't cut out things that make you happy.

Eat less, move more. Enjoy a beer every now and then and enjoy a good meal with friends.

And allow yourself to make mistakes. When you beat yourself up after eating one bad meal or drinking one beer you're not going to succeed.

365andstillalive

I lost about 60lbs, and then did exactly what you did and would eat healthy for 4-5 days and then totally destroy it, start again the next week and I ended up putting back on about 25.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of what I was, namely planning out a meal and exercise plan for the whole week. I find it's a lot more effective to not plan as far in advance. Pick up good foods once a week when you shop, and have an idea of what you might want to eat for meals, but give yourself some leeway. If you plan at the beginning for the whole week and get to thursday and really don't want that chicken and salad you've locked yourself into eating, then you're not going to be happy and you'll be more likely to stray from a healthy lifestyle.

I now try to make my choices more on a daily basis. I tend to know what I'm having for dinner, since that's my largest meal and one which I usually eat with my SO, and then I plan the rest of my day around that to meet my macros/calorie goals. I also leave room on certain days where I know I'm going to want something that I wouldn't eat every day: like the movie marathon that inevitably ends in pizza that my guy likes to do every weekend, going out for a restaurant style breakfast with friends, or having a beer or two on a Friday night. If you can plan for those things, you can make sure you're not self-sabotaging. Having a beer, or even eating to maintenance one or two days a week doesn't mean you've ruined all the good work you've done, it just means you won't lose as much this week.

Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint and you're going to constantly run into obstacles; it's learning to handle them which is going to allow you to have a healthy, active lifestyle for the rest of your life. Feel free to send me a friend request, I'd love to give you a little extra support

CupcakeCrusoe

One thing that stood out to me- don't put devil horns or angel wings on your food. There's no food you "shouldn't" have unless it's an allergy of yours or poison.

It takes a while, but absorb what everyone here's saying: you don't have to do this "fall off the wagon" "get back on the wagon" thing. There's no wagon. There's just you in a garden of every food there is. You can eat ice cream, drink beer, as everyone is saying. It's okay. Just make sure to balance the rest of your day to account for it. Daily. Give it a few weeks. Log carefully, every bite.

You'll find this could be a lifestyle you like, one free of food-guilt.

oneloopygirl

One thing that stood out to me- don't put devil horns or angel wings on your food. There's no food you "shouldn't" have unless it's an allergy of yours or poison.

It takes a while, but absorb what everyone here's saying: you don't have to do this "fall off the wagon" "get back on the wagon" thing. There's no wagon. There's just you in a garden of every food there is. You can eat ice cream, drink beer, as everyone is saying. It's okay. Just make sure to balance the rest of your day to account for it. Daily. Give it a few weeks. Log carefully, every bite.

You'll find this could be a lifestyle you like, one free of food-guilt.

This!

Seriously, I enjoy the occasional drink... Usually one or two on Saturdays. Not every week, but most weeks. I exercise regularly. My goal is to eat generally healthy, but I factor in things that I enjoy - like morning coffee with a little french vanilla creamer. I'm not going to give that up and that to me is worth the calories. It's a lifestyle and not a diet. We're not perfect and we all have bad days. You've got to just record it, own it and go on. Being over one day or maybe even two isn't going to kill you if your net calories for a week are still at a deficit. You can still lose, even if it's slowly... And who cares how slow you lose as long as you're making progress. It's not a race. That's what I run for... That competitive drive and push and desire to be better than last time. My food journey... Not so much.

ladyblue100

When ever I feel low about myself I just think back to the days where I was active. I think back about how happy I was to be outside running or riding my bike. For me I gained about 10 pounds this year and what I told myself was that I had to forget about the weight I was and look at my self now an say "Ok this is how much I weigh. I have to put in the time and effort if I want to weigh less". It's all about accountability and forgiving yourself for what you ate.

Hope my post helps

kelty412

I can totally relate especially in the summer. Every weekend there are events and everyone is having a drink. I try to limit myself to a drink or two, but it's not easy!! I figure that even if I have to start over on Monday, I"m still doing it!!

CARTC

I found that the best way was to make a full lifestyle change and to get the idea of "dieting" out of my head. That means there is no cheating or going back to something...you just do. The secret is to transfer into that new lifestyle a little at a time. I decided to go Paleo because it really works for me. Once I set that as my goal and not the scale. My focus was on learning the lifestyle and deleting foods I should not be eating, and adding foods I should. Before I knew it the pounds started dropping off. It only took me 1 1/2 years to loose 200lbs. I don't have to start over, and I don't have to think about calories, I just embrace the lifestyle. Good Luck.

Bella0531

Don't start Monday - start with the very next meal!

If you 'fall off the wagon' and have a quadruple bacon cheeseburger, cheese fries and milkshake for lunch on Wednesday that totally blows your macros out of the water don't beat yourself up and use it as an excuse to eat like crap for the next four days. Start again with Wednesday's dinner. Make yourself something sensible and healthy and continue on.

You can do this!!

StaciMarie1974

Perhaps adjust your goals. Maybe you're trying to do too much at once? I've heard it takes 21 days to form a new habit. So pick one thing - whether it be logging food, eating at X calories per day, working out X times per week, or something else: and focus on that for 3 weeks. Then in 3 weeks, add in another target area.

_Zardoz_

I think it's because you have this all or nothing kind of approach and thought process here...you drink a beer for example and this derails you? There's nothing wrong with drinking a beer...I drink plenty of beer and did so while I was losing weight.

There's not magic here...you just eat a little less and you move a little more...you don't have to suck on celery sticks and salads and do upteen million hours of exercise per week to lose weight. You can eat healthfully and eat enjoyably all at the same time...you don't seem to understand that.

I would also add that nobody is on 100% of the time...I've been around here going on two years...I lost 40 Lbs and I've been maintaining for over a year now without logging or anything...but that doesn't mean I'm spot on all of the time...I have good days and bad days...good weeks and bad weeks...you have to realize that this is all a part of life. It's not about starting over, it's about continuing on and realizing that this whole safari is going to have plenty of bumps and dumps along the way...that's life.

Listen to this man he speaks sense.

liekewheeless

Stop "dieting"!
Eat well, choose a deficit that won't cause you to "fall off".
Allow treats everyday.
Move your body.
It's that simple.

You can do it if you want to.
Put one foot in front of the other.
Do it!
Feed yourself the way you plan to feed yourself for the rest of your life.
When you reach the weight you're happy with-just eat a bit more of the things you've been eating all along.

This.

Moderation is key,
I love cake, ice cream etc. So guess what, I eat cake, ice cream etc. Should probably cut down on it some but hey,..I'm still losing weight!

Jessmess85

It sounds like you are way too hard on yourself when you "slip up"! Practice some self forgiveness and self compassion. This may sound silly, but it has really helped me. Anything I am hanging on to at the end of the day, like overeating or anything else I have done / not done that I am unhappy about, I forgive myself aloud.

Being able to let go of past mistakes helps you to continue to work hard without anything weighing you down (haha... see what I did there...)

Good luck!

Jillian130

Look at it this way...it's a Journey, because in essence it is. So with that in mind, say you're on a road trip with a destination planned. You're more than half way there and suddenly you are re-routed due to construction, or wrong turn, or whatever. Do you turn around and go home thinking you'll try again some other time?? Of course not. You find your way back on track and continue.
Same with this. You have a good week and then you have a beer, or wine, a bad meal, a bad day. So what? It doesn't cancel out your week, so go ahead and make your next choice a good one. Just carry on and get back on track. Why wait till Monday?
And quite honestly, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, any illness for that matter, doesn't wait till Monday to wreak havoc on a person. It just does, at any given moment. So be the best that you can be, now. Fight for your health and for the body you deserve and want. It's a heck of a lot easier to maintain your health, then it is to fight to get it back.