A weird issue?

Seesaa

So I've been doing this for over 3 months (MFP that is). Quite proud of myself and the progress I am making. I have my progress post on to Facebook automatically so everyone can see as at this point I have no shame in my game. Having said that I have friends that are also on a weight loss journey . One girl approached me to be her weight loss buddy I am always glad to be someone's support. She wanted me to go to zumba with her because she didn't want to be the only big person there.

At 400+ lbs it is true I am almost always the biggest person in the room, but with my frame I can carry it and what most...including her fail to realize is I can still do things. I took a aerobics/strength class and belly dancing my last semester at college and then took the Farrell's challenge which is kick boxing and band/strength training. I have flexibility, stamina and am capable of doing alot of things. I don't give up and give my full effort because to not do so is hurting me and no one else.

To pick me as a support system is a commitment to me and I will make you accountable which I did with her. She bail on a class she'd owe me all that stuff, but at the same time she wasn't in it alone which is what she wanted.

She had recently joined a gym with her fiancee and told me she was to embarrassed to get on any of the machines so she just tanned. I understand I still get alittle embarassed by some things, but I push through it. She offered to go to the gym with me and use her free passes for me. I said sure what time and have not heard back from her in over a week.

Now of course I'd be concerned maybe she was sick, but she is on facebook regularly and I have texted and left her a message on her phone a few times since and nothing. This is leading me to believe that she is avoiding me...to avoid going to the gym. Which is the oddest thing that has happened to me for awhile now. I never forced her to do anything all the things we did together were her idea on her schedule and when she canceled she canceled. She knew the deal. It just baffles me.

But I always knew that I was in this for myself and no one else and this incident just helps reinforce that. People can come along for the right and I am grateful for the support, but at least let me know when you are done with the journey so I don't make a fool of myself worrying about you. That is just common courtesy.

So not a big issue, just thought it was weird enough to write about as I've never been avoided because someone doesn't want to work out. lol

LoserCruiser

That is kind of funny actually! It should give YOU even more motivation to get into shape just to say HAHA to her, lol.

Seesaa

That is kind of funny actually! It should give YOU even more motivation to get into shape just to say HAHA to her, lol.

It actually does. We are both having weddings around the same time which is a big motivations, but I'll work hard to get to my goal and I don't know what she is gonna do and really at this point. It is sort of the least of my worries. If she wants to do stuff I'm up for it, but it is clear the buddy system is not what she is wanting for now.

kiffypooh

People are just odd. I have no idea why someone would do that, especially make that effort then disappear.

Niveous

That is an odd issue, but you have the right idea with just focusing on yourself and your goals. You're in this for you.

Dom82

I had a friend do a similar thing to me. We didn't work out together but we are close friends so talked about healthier food alternatives and gave each other support and pushed each other in our work outs.

She stopped eating healthy and exercising and had put on all the weight she lost last summer.

I kept going for me and am just about at my goal :happy: so i can't wait for summer to hit full swing here and feel confident in a bikini ( not quite there yet :blushing: )

and a well done to you :flowerforyou:

Seesaa

I had a friend do a similar thing to me. We didn't work out together but we are close friends so talked about healthier food alternatives and gave each other support and pushed each other in our work outs.

She stopped eating healthy and exercising and had put on all the weight she lost last summer.

I kept going for me and am just about at my goal :happy: so i can't wait for summer to hit full swing here and feel confident in a bikini ( not quite there yet :blushing: )

and a well done to you :flowerforyou:

Thanks and it is good to hear I am not the only one this has happened to.
And well done for you as well!

TaraMaria

Well at least you see that you are not alone about people being fickle pickles...Sigh! I've invited many people to come and take classes with me at my gym and had them bail...even an hour before. Ah well! I say more power to you and your devotion to making you healthy and beauuutiful! You were reaching out to be kind and helpful and its sad that she wouldn't want someone on her team like you that would keep her motivated and committed! )

MaggieGiamalvo

It's an odd situation, but as you're finding out... not all that unusual. It's happened to me too... twice. Getting healthy and losing weight is mostly mental. And until the mindset is there, that our friends want to get as healthy as we do, there really isn't anything we can do to get them to be as dedicated as we are. They're the only one that can make that decision for them. You can wish your friend well, but that's about it.

Congratulations to you for making the decision to get healthy, for being dedicated and for taking steps in the right direction!

Mamoonie

Can it be that this girl is just too scared to come to the gym and classes with you?
She lacks motivation, and asking you gives her some support. If you skip lessons too, then it's ok, as you both are big girls and not doing anything against it.

Now she didn't expect you to be committed to this. So she's scared she might be the only big girl around soon. You steal her security of not being the only one, simply by doing something.

That are the thoughts that came to my mind when I read your explanations.

MM

Seesaa

Can it be that this girl is just too scared to come to the gym and classes with you?
She lacks motivation, and asking you gives her some support. If you skip lessons too, then it's ok, as you both are big girls and not doing anything against it.

Now she didn't expect you to be committed to this. So she's scared she might be the only big girl around soon. You steal her security of not being the only one, simply by doing something.

That are the thoughts that came to my mind when I read your explanations.

MM

Well that could very well be except my mfp posts had been happening for 2 months before she contacted me...so i was committed to something.

And she has a ways to go before she is the only big girl as I'm pretty sure I'm 2 times bigger then she is...literally.

If she did pick me for those reasons that is a poor reason and kinda hurtful. I'm not a slacker and can no longer afford to be.