Me in my thirties.

bebeblues

This is me. I have always been about my husband and my family. Never doing things for myself, putting everyone in front of me. That was my 20s. Now that I am in my 30s, things are changing. I am trying to love me for me and figure out how to add "me" to who I live for. I am very hard on myself, feeling like I fail at so much. But when I look around, my life is full of wonderful blessings. 2 beautiful sons, a 5 yo and an 8 week old. A fantastic house and a pretty supportive husband... So what's wrong with me? I feel gross. Fall is coming and my stretched skin is causing overhang. I have never been skinny but for some reason I already feel defeated. I feel guilty for trying to get in "me time" now that we have a new baby. I bawled my eyes out when I drove to a park to ride my bike. It was the first time I left my baby. Feel guilty because our older son starts kindergarten and mommy isn't her shining best for him. Feeling ugly because my husband has made this amazing transformation and here I am. He is supportive and encouraging, but also more concerned with his maintaining. He can't carry me on his shoulders. He shouldn't have to. He should be able to do his own thing without me feeling jealous of his time away. It's just... Here I am, this is me, trying to change.

So here's to a journey for me. To become better for them and happy for all.

Cheers!

JustSomeEm

Honey, you've got this. Just make a commitment. I've been where you are. I was the mom who didn't go for a run because someone else always needed my time. I didn't eat as healthy as I could because someone else wanted something else for dinner. It's a mind game you're playing with yourself - and if you keep up the way you're going, you lose. You lose out on being able to play with your kids. You lose out on DOING things with them, because you're not feeling well. Just commit today to logging your food. EVERYTHING. You don't have to make drastic changes right now. Just log the food. ALL of it, and be aware of what you're eating. If you do that honestly and consistently, you'll find yourself making better choices. Once those better choices become habit, you'll feel better in your skin. You'll be able to keep up with your husband and kids. Heck, they may have trouble keeping up with YOU! Just commit to making ONE small change. The next one will come easier.

You are NOT ugly. You don't need to be hard on yourself. But you DO need to make time for yourself. You are NOT being selfish when you take care of yourself. You are making sure you're able to take care of your husband and babies in the future. Get healthier for YOU - you'll feel great. But if you can't commit for you, then do it for your family - so that you'll be there and capable when they need you to be. That's what I had to tell myself when I started focusing on my health more - and its true.

Hugs, honey. :flowerforyou:

bebeblues

You are exactly right davis_em. It is a mind game. I am going to win this battle within. Thank you for the kind words, dear!

K_Pam14

Hi! We have some things in common! I'm coming up on 30 REAL soon and have recently learned to make ME a priority...something I've always struggled with. NEVER feel guilty for wanting time for yourself! You have to take care of yourself in order to be healthy for your loved ones. Sending a request your way...we can support each other. Hope all is well!

This is me. I have always been about my husband and my family. Never doing things for myself, putting everyone in front of me. That was my 20s. Now that I am in my 30s, things are changing. I am trying to love me for me and figure out how to add "me" to who I live for. I am very hard on myself, feeling like I fail at so much. But when I look around, my life is full of wonderful blessings. 2 beautiful sons, a 5 yo and an 8 week old. A fantastic house and a pretty supportive husband... So what's wrong with me? I feel gross. Fall is coming and my stretched skin is causing overhang. I have never been skinny but for some reason I already feel defeated. I feel guilty for trying to get in "me time" now that we have a new baby. I bawled my eyes out when I drove to a park to ride my bike. It was the first time I left my baby. Feel guilty because our older son starts kindergarten and mommy isn't her shining best for him. Feeling ugly because my husband has made this amazing transformation and here I am. He is supportive and encouraging, but also more concerned with his maintaining. He can't carry me on his shoulders. He shouldn't have to. He should be able to do his own thing without me feeling jealous of his time away. It's just... Here I am, this is me, trying to change.

So here's to a journey for me. To become better for them and happy for all.

Cheers!

xo_jenny

Oh, I am so feeling for you right now. You are beautiful and it's worth finally focusing some attention on yourself! I am entering my thirties and looking to finally do some things for me, as well. Just remember that when you are eating right and making fitness a priority, you WILL be a better mom, wife, etc. as the physical changes begin to manifest from the inside out. I notice that I get sad a lot less when I am eating a 100% clean unprocessed diet. You will do wonderful - just take it one day at a time, and know that there are lots of supportive people on your side (even if they exist on the other side of a computer screen). xx

babbyb1

You need to take care of YOU. So many times, moms will sacrifice everything for their kids, only to lose their own identity.
I know that it hurts a little, especially to leave an 8 week old baby, just to exercise. Think about the long term: How are you improving the life of your babies by taking control of your health? Will you be able to walk with them more, play with them more, be around for them longer?

These are things that I think about when my STUPID thinking tells me that I'm being selfish.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

nogreenthumb

Awesome post! Really hits home with me. I've always been a people pleaser, and I'm just learning now how to commit to making myself the best I can be.

bebeblues

Thank you all! I feel like this has already been a good thing for me. Airing out my mind if you will lol I keep everything so bottled up inside because I am so concerned with others. Worried about being judged for feeling the way I do. Not to mention I have slight baby blues going on still.

Doing this one post reminds me of the movie "What About Bob?" baby steps!

Thank you again for your advice and words! This is an awesome place.

bebeblues

Nogreenthumb - I am getting into the mentality of becoming a person that deserves my own attention. I need to let go of some of the control. I know my husband is perfectly capable of taking care of the kids. I deserve to not be here all day everyday. I deserve to get a break. My husband and I are working out a schedule to where either he is riding or I am and then nights that we are all together. I don't want our kids to have essentially what would be a one parent home most of the time. We don't have family close by and finding a sitter is near impossible ( plus 8 week old ) so we will make it work. They say it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. Here is to day 2!

ladyred2479

that's awesome that you and your husband are working together to make things better for your family!

bebeblues

He's an awesome guy with his own amazing weight loss story. From 300 to 180. He is my inspiration!

bebeblues

Tracking daily definitely makes you think about everything you put in your mouth. Being a mom means I normally snack on anything my son is eating or has finished. This has helped me all but stop that. Except the grapes! lol I really feel like this is a step in the right direction. Have a great day everyone!

varogers2002

Fantastic job! Feel free to add me!

meghan_lovely

I 100% identify with this post! I just turned 30 a few days ago and have a young son. Tracking on MFP and making time to exercise.... already feeling better (mentally and physically) I am also a people pleaser and tend to be really hard on myself. I am finding the better I feel about MYSELF the less guilty or overwhelmed I feel towards my family. I am more confident and happy.

I know you can do this!! Keep in mind that you can't take care of your sons or your husband if you are not taking care of yourself too. They want you to be happy and healthy as much as you want it for yourself. Good luck!

soberlicious

you are SO amazing for writing this. i completely know how you feel and respect your struggles. i'm not a mom, but i *do* understand the need to put yourself first. and i love being in my 30s so much more than my 20s!!!