So sad today

Justamom410

I've been on MFP since 2011...and have gone through the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain. I've been trying VERY hard to stay motivated and watch what I eat. But I find it hard...and it's because of my husband. He is not supportive AT ALL. Just the other day, as I was logging my meal into MFP he says to me "Do you realize how much time you waste thinking about what you can/should/are able to eat? It's not worth it" My heart sank because it was in that moment that I realized that I would never truly win at this battle with him having that attitude. I responded that it was worth it to me...and he just shook his shoulders, rolled his eyes and walked away.

THIS...coming from a man who could lose 80lbs himself...who has high blood pressure and is pre-diabetic.

It just broke my heart.

Lizzy622

My husband isn't the most supportive either. You need to do this for you. I started in 2010 and quit for a bit but came back. I realized I can't be doing this for anyone else. I am doing this for me. I have the app on my phone so I can just say I was playing Candy Crush.

bidimus

I'm going to keep my negative thoughts about your husband to myself. That's not productive.

I think it's all in how you look at it. Consider how not thinking about what he puts into his body is working for him. He will see this in time, hopefully before it's too late. You can't expect him to get it until he does.

In the mean time, consider the source. He is obviously in no position to be passing opinions whether your efforts are "worth it" and if I were you I'd just quietly laugh it off. It's likely his misguided way of justifying not taking action on his own health. He's in for a rude awakening.

Alluminati

I've been on MFP since 2011...and have gone through the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain. I've been trying VERY hard to stay motivated and watch what I eat. But I find it hard...and it's because of my husband. He is not supportive AT ALL. Just the other day, as I was logging my meal into MFP he says to me "Do you realize how much time you waste thinking about what you can/should/are able to eat? It's not worth it" My heart sank because it was in that moment that I realized that I would never truly win at this battle with him having that attitude. I responded that it was worth it to me...and he just shook his shoulders, rolled his eyes and walked away.

THIS...coming from a man who could lose 80lbs himself...who has high blood pressure and is pre-diabetic.

It just broke my heart.

YOU. Not his attitude, it's YOURS that's holding YOU back. YOU have to do this for YOU and no one else. Change your perception and be YOUR own motivator. Don't look outside for it, it's not always going to be there. Good luck :flowerforyou:

5stringjeff

My ex-wife was also very skeptical and non-supportive of my weight loss and fitness goals. It certainly made it more difficult to meet my goals, but not impossible. If it's worth it to you, keep pressing on.

lillyrose2020

It sucks that you haven't got your husbands support and encouragement, I expect he feels guilty and resentful that you are trying to lose weight and he isn't. It will be interesting to see his reaction once you start seeing the results and dropping weight. Which you will!
I'm not a marriage counsellor or anything, but if I was you I would want to talk to him to understand his reasons for his lack of support.

We need these people in our lives to hold us up, push us along, it is so sad that we are so often pulled down by the people we need the most.

I wish you luck and remember you have the support of the forums for moments like this when the people in your 'real' life let you down.

redscylla

It sucks that your husband isn't supportive of a goal that's important to you, but hey! You can't change him, just yourself.

I'm with Lizzy622. Lots of people waste time playing games on their phones. You're using your time to focus on healthier eating. Next time he wants to belittle your efforts, give him a canned non-response: "You're welcome to your opinion, but I disagree." Don't engage with him, don't debate, don't take his words to heart. Just remind yourself (and him) out loud that it's only his opinion, and you don't agree with it. I bet if you say it enough, and that's all you say, eventually he'll give up.

lindainprogress

how about changing your "handle" on here. you are not "just a mom" or are so much more than that, i mean SO MUCH more. Try changing to something like- i am amazing, or youve got this girl. Anything ultra positive, that will make you say nice things to yourself everytime you log in. perhaps your spouse it worried you will improve yourself and then he will no longer be good enough for you. Dont let him project his negativity on you. it is how he feels and it does not have to be how you feel.
hang in there and best of luck- this can be done, check out all the success stories for reinforcement

tulips_and_tea

how about changing your "handle" on here. you are not "just a mom" or are so much more than that, i mean SO MUCH more. Try changing to something like- i am amazing, or youve got this girl. Anything ultra positive, that will make you say nice things to yourself everytime you log in. perhaps your spouse it worried you will improve yourself and then he will no longer be good enough for you. Dont let him project his negativity on you. it is how he feels and it does not have to be how you feel.
hang in there and best of luck- this can be done, check out all the success stories for reinforcement

This is a fantastic idea! Great advice - listen to this, OP!
Yes, it's difficult when our spouse doesn't support us at something, but that in no way should deter you! More of a, too bad you feel that way, attitude and you just continue on. You can do it!