Trends of brides wanting to lose weight

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rosebette
rosebette Posts: 1,659 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?
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Replies

  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
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    agreed, weddings have just become a money grab. though i can understand wanting to shed a few pounds to look a little better on the day of, especially since wedding photos typically get hung up on a wall sooner or later
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?

    I lost weight for my wedding... Though I had already started losing before I got proposed to... I am not sure what you find so offensive about wanting to look your best on your big day...?

    Yes my husband proposed when I was bigger, yes he loves me regardless of size but surely he's even happier now he has a wife confident enough to wear a bikini all the time... Me being more confident means more naked time with him.... What wrong with that?!
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    OP: I don't get it either. But IMO it seems a part of too much focus on The Wedding Day rather than the relationship you have after The Wedding Day, and celebrating what you have together Every Day. It also don't get that people think this is their one chance at something (looking perfect). It just leads to thoughts that if you fail (at looking perfect), you are a failure. Not a healthy attitude to take into a marriage IMO.

    I didn't go for the whole meringue thing anyway, so maybe I'm not the best person to give their 5c. I couldn't understand spending the equivalent of a deposit on a car on an item of clothing I'd only wear once, so I didn't.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    Because the wedding day is all about the bride. It's the only day of her life (other than her funeral and she won't know it then) when all eyes are on her. It's supposedly a once in a lifetime experience (yeah, right.) It's perfectly normal that she wants to look her absolute best on that day.
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,659 Member
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    I don't find it offensive that one wants to look one's best; it just seems there is more pressure on brides these days to look perfect. I have to admit my gown was a Gunny Sax (remember those) Victorian style that I bought off the rack -- so I was at the outer edge of the hippie generation. However, now there is also this trend of women buying smaller dresses and then dieting to fit into them, which I find incomprehensible. These gowns are so expensive. If you're a size 8 or 10, buy a size 8 or a 10, don't buy a 4 and then crash diet to get into it.
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
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    I dieted. I would prefer to have wedding photos laying around that I feel and look my best in. They will be around forever.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    This has been going on at least since the 60s. Brides wanting to look good on their wedding day is not a new phenomenon, really.
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
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    OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?

    Weddings aren't about looking good for your soon-to-be-spouse. They're about how you present yourself to everyone else (think Facebook).

    Also, because the "skirts can hide quite a bit," are you trying to imply that weight loss wouldn't be noticeable? I don't even know how to respond to that assertion (although this may have some validity with the very obese, I guess).

    If weddings were different when you were younger, then yes, that would qualify you as an "old fogy."
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
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    Because the wedding day is all about the bride. It's the only day of her life (other than her funeral and she won't know it then) when all eyes are on her. It's supposedly a once in a lifetime experience (yeah, right.) It's perfectly normal that she wants to look her absolute best on that day.
    Lol. One of my older friends has been married five times. I asked her out of genuine curiosity if, after the third wedding announcement people started saying "AGAIN?!!!"
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
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    I'm not married and though I would like to be married one day the thought of a wedding is just awful to me, so maybe I'm not qualified to answer.

    But I can understand wanting to lsoe weight for a dress because wedding dresses are expensive, especially if they're plus sized. Then again, people dropping money on weddings probably don't care about an extra few hundred on a dress. I think it just stems from wanting to look your best. And yes, there's societal pressure to look a certain way, but. I dunno. I have a hard time relating to that train of thought.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Pictures and videos will last long after you are gone. They want to look as good as they can.

    I can't stand the practice, because I just think you should always strive to be your best at all times. Saying that doesn't mean I'm perfect, but it does mean I strive to do my best. Temporarily shedding for the weeding just makes my blood boil because it's so unnecessary. If you just very easily eat normally all the time, you will never have to shed anything, maybe just hit the weight room a little harder or something.

    2 years later my wedding dress still fits!
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    I'm pretty sure it's because more fat people are getting married.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.

    The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.

    30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.

    The reality shows don't help.
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
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    When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.

    The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.

    30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.

    The reality shows don't help.

    "Appearance above all the rest of your attributes?" Oh, so they're mutually exclusive? One couldn't possibly not be overweight, and still have those other "attributes," right? The horror.

    Not wanting to be fat doesn't necessarily mean you have self-esteem issues. It might just mean you don't want to be fat.

    And those ads that exist? I think you're confused about the causation. Thin people are in ads because most people want to be thin, not the other way around.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.

    The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.

    30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.

    The reality shows don't help.

    What's bolded were my thoughts exactly. OP, if you had been overweight when you were proposed to, would you have tried to lose some of it before your wedding?
  • Mrsmonas
    Mrsmonas Posts: 37 Member
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    Correct me if I'm wrong OP, but I think she is more talking about brides buying dresses that are too small in order to lose weight to fit into them.
  • marieamethyst
    marieamethyst Posts: 869 Member
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    I've been married twice now (first one was a disaster and I was too young): first wedding dress was a size 4 and second was a size 14. I looked much better in the size 4, and was able to get the dress I wanted. The size 14 dress was pretty, but the one I wanted didn't fit on my body properly. Plus, arm flab and spilling out of the top.

    My comparison dresses:

    weddingdress.png

    I didn't diet, but I can understand why women want to. Usually there are tons of pictures/videos, and the focus is on you. So of course you want to look your best. Plus my size 4 dress was much cheaper than the size 14, and didn't require as much alteration.

    I was much happier during the second round, but I do prefer how I looked in the first. We'll probably just do a vow renewal in a few years and I'll get to choose a dress I love for that! :drinker:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    You aren't alone in finding it weird. I do, too.

    I guess I just don't get the urgency and strong need to lose weight for the wedding or bridal gown. I guess I'm just not "that kind of woman" and have never been. I've been married twice and made efforts to look nice on both occasions, but I guess to me if you're a certain size during the dating period and engagement I don't feel there is an unwritten rule that you need to be X number of sizes smaller on the BIG DAY.

    I do understand much of the logic people are giving in the responses here, about photos highlighting unwanted pounds and photos being around for future generations and all of that jazz. I think it's fine if women want to do that. For me personally there just was never a connection, when I lost a lot of weight it was not related to one event.

    Honestly to me the strangest thing (which I have seen a LOT) is when a woman is (for example) a size 14 and then gets into a size 6 or 8 for her wedding day, and then goes back to a size 14 within a year or two...either just from going back to regular eating habits, or a first child, or whatever reason. I think it would be depressing to look at my way smaller self in those wedding photos in that case! I guess maybe that particular view on it's unusual but I just don't get it.
  • akaiookami
    akaiookami Posts: 43 Member
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    We are seen and judged by other people every day of our lives, & of course judge ourselves. I understand that a wedding is special- I'm a bit of a tomboy style gal and I certainly enjoyed dressing as a princess for a day. What seems odd to me is that for that one single day (and yes photos/videos, but its not like you have to show them to every person you see every time you see them) women are willing to crash diet for months to achieve that one magical look to fit that one magical dress in the size they think appropriate that will make everything perfect. I feel it says sad things about our society that pressure for that one day somehow outweighs the desire to be happy with how you look and feel EVERY day. We all have motivators that started us on our weight-loss/fitness journeys, but this doesn't seem to be a healthy motivator. We are willing to diet for a special photo, but not for ourselves for the rest of our lives or our significant other even? /Shrug.

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