Problems After You've Reached Your Goal

Bermudabarbie

Great post, Dan. I have lost about 84 pounds but only about 9 with MFP. I didn't know about MFP before August when I discovered it in the App Store of iTunes. This is the greatest program. Really.

You covered lots of topics very well. For me, I am still getting used to maintaining within my "range." I still log each day and try to maintain my fitness level. The only other area I would add is "body image." Although I am about a size 6 now, I still go through the sale racks and tend to look at the larger sizes first. It takes a long time before you really "see" yourself as that smaller size.

I hate to stare at people when out, but I tend to look at other women about my height (5'8 1/2"), and want to ask them where they shop and what size they are. I wouldn't do this... too rude. But it's tempting when I see someone who looks really great.

No, maintenance is a rather slippery slope and has it's own set of challenges. Thanks for this post!

VenturaGurl

This was an excellent post...and all of the comments have been very insightful!

The last time I got to my goal weight, I really struggled with the emotional side of it...feeling like I looked and felt great, but that "skinny" girl wasn't really me! So...the pounds started creeping back on. 30 pounds later, I'm back at it again, but with 10 pounds lost already, I'm on my way. I think it's really important to check in with yourself along the journey and to remind yourself that you are worth all of the hard work, tracking, excercise, etc. that it takes to show the true you! That's what I'm trying to do this time, anyway.

NeuroticVirgo

Thanks for this. It was great to read!

DeeDeeLHF

Man, have I enjoyed reading this post!!! Congratulations to each of you! Your weight loss is inspiring.

I have a few comments..

First the cold thing is really unbearable for me this year. I live in Buffalo, NY and it has been so cold!! The only advantage of my coat being way too big is that I can wear a sweater and a thick furry hoodie underneath the coat. When I am dressed up to go outside no one would even think I had lost a pound!!!:laugh: If you knocked me over I wouldn't be able to get up!:laugh: I really am a member of the tortoise club!!!

The wedding rings are an issue. Get them re-sized!!!

As for shoes, well not only am I going through sneakers like crazy, my other shoes are also too big!!!

Barbie...you should ask away!! I think people consider it a compliment to be asked where they shop telling them you think they look great! etc.

Thanks Dan for posting!

D

JeanneTops

One big issue I've had (and seen others have) is that you set out to reach this amazing goal, then pull it off after struggle and sacrifice, but somehow the results don't seem as grand as you originally envisioned. I have a MUCH better self-image, but it never quite got to where I want it to be, which is why I'm still working after all these years.

People also tend to think that weight loss will fix problems they have. I can tell you right now, if you don't like yourself atleast a little when you're fat, you're not going to miraculously start loving yourself when you're thin. Sometimes there are other issues going on that need attention beyond just losing weight.

Just something to think about.

This is so right! Unless you work on your mental habits while you're losing weight, you will still be the same person with the same thoughts about yourself at goal weight that you had when you started. I'm convinced this is why people gain their weight back because I'm sure this is why I did. Most importantly - consuming food has to stop being the way you react to anything - good or bad.

People get upset with us at family dinners and celebrations when we don't eat the way they do because they see eating as "celebrating" and enjoying themselves. But just being together, having fun together, playing and laughing together is celebrating too.

FIREfitGrl27

One big issue I've had (and seen others have) is that you set out to reach this amazing goal, then pull it off after struggle and sacrifice, but somehow the results don't seem as grand as you originally envisioned. I have a MUCH better self-image, but it never quite got to where I want it to be, which is why I'm still working after all these years.

People also tend to think that weight loss will fix problems they have. I can tell you right now, if you don't like yourself atleast a little when you're fat, you're not going to miraculously start loving yourself when you're thin. Sometimes there are other issues going on that need attention beyond just losing weight.

Just something to think about.

This is so right! Unless you work on your mental habits while you're losing weight, you will still be the same person with the same thoughts about yourself at goal weight that you had when you started. I'm convinced this is why people gain their weight back because I'm sure this is why I did. Most importantly - consuming food has to stop being the way you react to anything - good or bad.

People get upset with us at family dinners and celebrations when we don't eat the way they do because they see eating as "celebrating" and enjoying themselves. But just being together, having fun together, playing and laughing together is celebrating too.

You wrote out exactly what I was thinking while reading through this again. We get with the family...big celebrations...always around the food. Which food is great....it's awesome...it's what we need, but in my families...it's not the healthy stuff. I enjoy talking and laughing and just being around them, but that doesn't mean I'm being rude when I refuse to eat a big piece of fried chicken or a huge slice of cake....that's not my lifestyle anymore, it's just food...doesn't change how I feel about family...I just don't choose to eat that way anymore. It's easier to example among people (here) who get that, but it's not so easy to say to the family.

HealthyChanges2010

But just being together, having fun together, playing and laughing together is celebrating too.

:drinker: Absolutely! So true, it's nice not to have food at the center of every get together:flowerforyou:

Cytherea

I've still got a ways to go before I hit my goal, but I can DEFINITELY resonate with some of these already!!

• Way too many clothes that don’t fit.
Before losing weight this was a problem too but everything was too tight but at least you still had a couple of 'fat day' clothes. After you lose a lot of weight nothing fits you anymore and you look like Hobo even in your ‘fat day’ clothes. You have to buy a whole new wardrobe and that can get expensive. Don’t forget when the weather changes into winter or summer you’ll have to buy new clothes all over again for the clothes that you had stored away for the season. This includes coats/jackets which no longer fit properly too. You’ll be buying more shoes also, with all the exercise that you’ll be doing the treads on your shoes will wear out four times faster.

Soooooooo true! I've given away a TON of clothes and picked up a few things here and there, but it is never enough. I'm a college professor, and I put on my black dress pants and look in the mirror and I'm like, OMG it looks like I am wearing SWEATPANTS! Wth?! Realllly frustrating, especially when I have to dress professionally almost every day of the week and I've got nothing to wear!!

For those of you struggling with pulling the right sizes off the shelf in stores, I have a suggestion. The first time I went to buy some new clothes after losing a big chunk of weight, I told myself "I am a size 14. I will not try on anything bigger than a size 14. I will not try on any shirts bigger than a large." And I did. And it worked beautifully. I said it over and over again in my head before I got there, while I was looking, while I was trying on. There was this button up shirt that I loved and I thought, oh, I need to take the XL because it will never fit (button ups never do over my chest). But I didn't. And it fit. And its my favorite shirt. Now, I've even managed to see some mediums, and said, hey, you know, that might fit me... and it does!

• You’ll be a lot colder.
I can’t believe how cold I get now. I use to be one of those guys who could wear shorts all the time (Yes, I know that’s not fashionable but my modeling career never took off, so who gives a flip). It didn’t matter if it was below freezing my legs just wouldn’t get cold. Now, I feel as if I’m freezing all the time and I always have to check the thermostat to see if someone has turned down the heat.

Sooooooooo true and soooooo annoying! Between living in SoCal the past few years and being spoiled with the perpetually warm weather, and then losing 55 lbs, I cannot STAND the cold anymore! We went camping over Thanksgiving, and it got into the 40s at night. We were in a tent, on the beach... that first night, I thought I had frostbite. I've literally never been so cold in my entire life. I was wearing my jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a sweatshirt, with tons of blankets piled up on top of me, and I was so cold I was numb. All. Night. Long. Didn't sleep a bit. It hurt!! I'm cold all the time now. I used to be the one who wore flip flops in the winter time (unless it was snowing) and skirts in February. Not anymore!

• Wedding ring doesn’t fit anymore.
My wedding ring was one to the triggers that started my weight loss journey; it was getting too tight and on the verge of not coming off at all. Now, the things always flopping around on my finger and I have to take it off a lot in fear of losing it while doing activities.

I got so scared mine was going to fall off. It used to be so tight, I couldn't even take it off to clean it. Go to Walmart, in the jewelry department, and get the "snuggies" ... they are just little plastic things that fit over your rings. Comes with 6. The bigger ones are technically for the men's rings, but they will fit around two ladies rings, which is what I did (for my engagement ring and band together). It doesn't get in the way and isn't bothersome, and you won't have to worry about the ring slipping off!

• Having to always be asked, “What’s the secret?” by everyone you’ve ever come into contact with before you lost the weight.
Short answer, there is no secret, eat less and exercise more. No one believes you though and you have to spend a lot of time convincing them that there is no secret diet out there.

Funny that this one came up... reminds me of my former co-worker. Every time I see her, she gushes at how much weight I've lost and how good I look. She's obese herself; I want to say she is bigger than I was when I started, but I don't know that for sure. She always talks about wanting to lose weight, but she has PCOS (I do too) and it is just so hard. When she saw that I was doing it, she wanted to know how and I emailed her the link to this site right away. She never joined, never did anything. Just saw her today, and she was like "oh my GOSH every time I see you you've lost more weight! You look so good! Is it REALLY just that site you told me about? REALLY? THAT'S IT?" ... Yes. Yes it is. Well, that and adding a bit of exercise! Apparently it just isn't believable that watching what you eat, learning portion control, and recording your food intake really works?! LOL

maureak

I'm with you! I was thinking I was past the hot flashes but maybe it's because of the weight loss. Either way, sleep is a lot better!

Mirabilis

Ditto on the being cold. I have a space heater in my office to keep the chill away. Mainly it's hands and feet. Whoever thought "Hell" would be hot never lost weight! I'm thinking also that places that get very warm probably won't seem nearly as warm at goal weight. I'll have to go investigate.

I haven't reached my goal yet and I haven't even figured out what it is. I was actually able to say out loud to another person yesterday what I actually weigh (a huge milestone) and when I did the skinny minnie looked shocked at how much that was from her perception and said "Well I don't know where you're hiding it". Someone on these boards said recently that this is because few people are very good at seeing it from anything but their own perspective, and I agree on that. What it does look like to me is that there is a very clear threshold for what is perceived to be "normal weight" vs. "overweight". I wonder what it is.

I am expecting to be journalling for the rest of my life. I see some logistical difficulties in continuing the process longer than that.

I am just coming up on my 25th anniversary of quitting smoking, and this time around I'm treating the weight loss the same way. There is no going back and you always have to be careful with what you eat.

rayfromtx

I've been getting the "you're too skinny" comments. I haven't gotten those since high school and it is a nice problem to have. They don't believe it when I tell them that according to every sophisticated program I've tried, my ideal weight is 170-175. I don't intend to go there and it makes people crazy to consider me 10-15 pounds lighter.

I get lot's of questions about how I did it and when I tell them I counted calories, many say they can't eat so little or starve themselves.

My strategy is to then show them what I ate over the last few days. They then say that it's a lot of food but they don't have time or ability to cook. Then I tell them how I prepared dinner the night before(usually 15 minutes or less). After that I just get the blank stare. One person has followed me into it and has lost 16 lbs so far. Another has lost 10 but since it isn't the 2 lbs a week that I lost they are now going to do hcg against my warnings. It's my sister and we watched both my parents lose 40 lbs with hcg only to gain back 50.

People in this society, myself included, have been spoiled to being able to push a button, pop a pill, or sign on the dotted line and have results delivered without further effort on their part. I don't fault anyone for these attitudes as I have shared them and understand their basis. I'm just grateful that I'm no longer in that mindset. I have MFpeeps to thank for that.

sandra80

still 76lbs from goal but im 134 down from where i once was and i'm always freezing. i drop a size once a month just about(started at a 32 and now am heading into 14 tops and 18 pants) my feet shrank a size and a half but my shoes are cute so i still wear them but they fall off, my rings are all huge so i wear them all as thumb and pointer rings (no need for wedding ring, im working on losing that 180lb dead weight of a man...no need for the ring lol) my glasses wont stay on because my head shrank too, i am spending obscene amounts of money on clothes but i like them lol, i cant eat something without thinking about calories at all (case in point went out to a bar to celebrate, drink calories were calculated, but i felt myself getting a little too tipsy so i stared at the vending machine at the bar thinking about what i could have, quite a task tipsy lol) mentally i havent caught up to myself yet, my clothes all look too small when i hold them up but they fit and i can't quite get used to male attention. it's a whole new world for me.

reneeot

• Way too many clothes that don’t fit.
Before losing weight this was a problem too but everything was too tight but at least you still had a couple of 'fat day' clothes. After you lose a lot of weight nothing fits you anymore and you look like Hobo even in your ‘fat day’ clothes. You have to buy a whole new wardrobe and that can get expensive. it.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LOOK LIKE HOBO IN MY CLOTHES, Can't wait to go shopping!!

mcdebbie

I'm just starting my journey but wanted to thank you all for your comments. Looking forward to putting my wedding rings back on and then going to Wal-mart for the snuggies. Not looking forward to coworker questions about the "secret". I may have to make up a "secret" diet to appease them (and make me millions of $$ at the same time! :laugh: ) You are all a great inspiration.

ps - already cold, guess it will be socks with sandals when I lose 55 pounds.

laDOLCEvita7

I wanted to add some advice. As for having to buy an all new wardrobe, yes thats something that we will all have to do. I have 70 lbs left to lose so I will put on a belt until I get to that goal weight. But for now I save back a little bit of money every week so that when I do get to that goal weight, shopping will be a joy instead of a breaking the bank. Also skinny clothes costs less!

sandollar1977

I have to say those are some good problems to have....I look forward to it

Alioth

Thanks for this. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Eating out's become a sore point with my friends. Also, I just bought fancy new winter coats last year--preweight loss. Now that the weather had turned cold, I'm utterly miserable. All my coats are too loose and the cold air seeps in through my sleeves, collar, and underneath the coat. I'm having to wear so many layers! I think I need to buy stock in long johns. It's so un-sexy. Oh, and let's not even talk about all my sweet strappy high heels falling off 'cuz my ankles shrunk. :sad: I too broke to buy new coats and shoes!

toots99

• It’s hard to get out of your routine.
My exercise routine is what got me to my destination, but I’ve found it hard to deviate from it. I can take more time off from it now but I find it hard to do that and that’s a sign of insanity to me. If I don’t get my exercise in for the day there’s a part of my brain that yells at me to ‘just do it!’ even now that I’m just maintaining. If I go out for a night of fun it’s not as fun as it could be because of that insane little voice in my head critiquing me.

I think that's my problem now, and it definitely will be an issue when I reach my goal. I think maintaining will be way harder than losing!

Great post, thanks for the advice.

toots99

People also tend to think that weight loss will fix problems they have. I can tell you right now, if you don't like yourself atleast a little when you're fat, you're not going to miracualously start loving yourself when you're thin. Sometimes there are other issues going on that need attention beyond just losing weight.

Just something to think about.

I agree 100%. People think that like is going to be perfect if they could just get "skinny". Nope, you're still gonna have bills, work, stress, etc. You'll just have to know how to handle it differently instead of stuffing yourself.

EpiGaiaRepens

hahaha! The being cold all the time part was something i wasn't expecting! I usually go surfing in PNW waters sans wetsuit and relish that I can be the only girl out there rockin' these waves in a bikini....but now I'm thinking I might not be able to do that anymore Darn!

madijo41

Love this post.

mayana2002

Problems after lose weight love me!

doobabe

I am always cold- period. Which really stinks when you LOVE snowmobiling.......... (Thank you Under Armour Cold gear)

Oh and I love the "keep a meal down, already" & "have a sandwich" comments also. I get them a lot, especially when I model. I chalk it up to ignorance in general.

And buying new wardrobes for every season is a GOOD thing!!!!! lol

Sunny_Skies

I can't weight to have these problems! Even though I haven't lost any weight yet, I'm still experiencing some....I've been a relatively healthy eater for years now, the problem is that I like desserts and don't exercise....and yet people still tell me I'm too picky of an eater and think I should eat more! I wonder how the comments will change after I meet my goal...

Kristina0202

I'm excited to have these problems. Except for the being cold thing. I absolutely hate being cold.