Christmas Jokes

RoadDog
RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
edited September 22 in Chit-Chat
What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
"Horn"-aments!

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
Because he didn't want to be recognised!

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She'd go to a "re-tail" shop for a new one!

Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a "rain"-deer!

Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet!

When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
When its a baby reindeer!

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
"Rude"-olph!

What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want because he can't hear you!

What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will "sleigh" you!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

Where do the reindeer like to stop for lunch?
"Deery" Queen!

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
"Elk"-a-seltzer!

How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the "deer"-bell!

What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope!

How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!

Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!

What's red and green and guides Santa's sleigh?
Rudolph the red-nosed pickle!

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer also works as a maid?
Yup! Comet cleans sinks!

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits!

Replies

  • ashlee954
    ashlee954 Posts: 1,112 Member
    I honestly did not know this many Christmas jokes existed. FUNNY!
  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
    Some of these are really corny but some of them are really funny. Thanks!
  • Alysgrma
    Alysgrma Posts: 365 Member
    Thanks..I had never heard any of them before...made me laugh out loud!!! :laugh:
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
    :laugh: These are awful! :love:
  • rjadams
    rjadams Posts: 4,029 Member
    groan
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
    What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Frosted flakes!

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    Do you smell carrots?

    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite!


    :laugh:
  • TanMac
    TanMac Posts: 77
    What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Frosted flakes!

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    Do you smell carrots?

    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite!


    :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • SkierElle
    SkierElle Posts: 335
    Hehehe. I am going to save these for my family, they love this kinda thing. Thanks for sharing!
  • ♥jewelchristian♥
    ♥jewelchristian♥ Posts: 3,666 Member
    What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Frosted flakes!

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    Do you smell carrots?

    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite!

    OK, these one's I love!


    :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
    If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missletoe!

    :ohwell: :laugh:
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missletoe!

    :ohwell: :laugh:

    I wonder what Arabs get then?
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
    I wonder what Arabs get then?
    *giggle* I have an idea.
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
    If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missletoe!

    :ohwell: :laugh:

    I wonder what Arabs get then?

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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