Outback Steakhouse and a Chocolate Oreo Blizzard :/

turning20losing20

Hi, my name is Mel and I'm relatively new to this site but I have been trying to lose about 15-20 pounds on my own for the last 4 months or so. I am 5'1 and currently somewhere between 137 and 140, which my doctor told me is slightly overweight and I agree that I don't feel at all comfortable in this weight. I don't have a number goal, but the level of fitness that I want to reach is quite high (fitness model high). Even though I love working out and I never miss a workout, my eating is all kinds of screwed up.. It seems that now that I want to lose weight, I want unhealthy foods even more... I keep having anxiety about foods and every couple of days I end up eating something I know I shouldn't, like ice cream and chips. I know I don't have to cut these foods out forever, but I also can't seem to control myself from having large and never ending portions of it.I never used to be this way, when I wanted to lose a few pounds I would just portion control and lose 6 lbs in 2 months without any problems. But it seems like my body just is not what it used to be in high school, specially since coming off of birth control.

I try to talk myself out of my anxiety, as a psychology major, but it's really hard especially because I don't have anyone at all to talk to about it. I understand that 15lbs is not a lot of weight to lose and that I'm not that overweight at all, but I feel really uncomfortable in everything I wear and its really bringing my self-esteem down. I have been losing and gaining the same 5lbs and I feel like I've failed myself and its really hard to stay motivated. I still want to lose weight and I know that I will be so happy when I do but I don't know how to deal with this anxiety. I keep telling myself that it's okay if I didn't lose the weight in the time frame that I wanted to, but I'm still feeling defeated.

I just realized this isn't so much a question but more of a diary entry, I just honestly don't have anyone else to tell.

lemonsnowdrop

Why don't you stop viewing certain foods as bad or unhealthy? Only we make anything unhealthy - by over consumption. Something having higher calories doesn't make it bad for you. If you get out of that mindset, you may find that you crave those items less. Otherwise, if you're like me and see no point in needlessly cutting things out, try to work them into your day or week. Sometimes I stay under about 100 calories a day so that I can indulge in, say, a Blizzard on the weekend.

Liftng4Lis

Okay first I don't understand why you're saying you shouldn't eat chips or ice cream. If you want them, make sure they fit into you calories for that day or as some people do it, that week, and eat them. Stop looking at this as a diet and look at it as a lifestyle change where you're using moderation.
Set yourself up for success!