Support help NEEDED on this journey

sandymayhew2014

I am 58 and am overweight. I have struggled most of my life with my weight. I have been on diet after diet only with the result of gaining back what I lost and more. This is a story I am sure many have struggled with. My mother was one of my worst critics about my weight, such so that I hated to go see my parents knowing I would be criticized and ridiculed about it. I did drop to a size 8-10 back in 1997 just prior to her passing but since then along with quitting smoking I have gained up to 243 and I am 5'1".. In mid July I went to the doctor and she wrote on my chart 'morbid obese' and it hit home. Either lose the weight or have surgery for it. I have begun to have health issues related to my weight gain such as high blood pressure. Weight is a lifelong battle for me and sometimes I feel like why bother because something will knock me back down and into a tail spin and up I go again. This time I hope I can lose it for good but knowing I must make radical changes for that to occur. My husband is not a good support system since he is in the same situation as I am. Sometimes when we go out he gets upset if I try to order something on the nutritional side and we get in a disagreement over it and so I just cave in to save the sake of an argument.
I am a health and gym teacher and a coach. I can teach and know what is good and bad for you but my example I set for the kids concerning my own weight is embarrassing. I miss things I used to be able to do such as ride the rides at parks with them due to being afraid I can't fit in the seat (has happened). I want my life back!!!! I am embarrassed to go out because I feel like people stare. I can't and never have been able to talk about my weight issue with anyone not even my husband. It is a personally hell I deal with everyday.
So far I have lost 14 pounds which I know is a start and just a drop in the bucket to what I must lose.
One pound at a time, one meal at a time and one day at a time is what I am trying to keep telling myself.
Any one who can help with my journey and go through this with me and together is greatly appreciated.