The Amazing Psychic Drunk!
Options
sgtinvincible
Posts: 2,559
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I had selected the
following items:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition...as I was *indeed* single. I gazed upon the
six items on the belt, glanced at the inebriated vagabond before me, then back at my soon to be purchased tradegoods. Seeing nothing unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status, I began to wonder what sort of paranormal ability that could be powering the amazing feat of mental prowess that this particular 'have-not' had displayed...
Curiosity getting the better of me, I stated incredulously: 'Well, you know what?
You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that? Are you psychic?'
The drunk replied, 'Heck no! Cause you're ugly .'
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
following items:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition...as I was *indeed* single. I gazed upon the
six items on the belt, glanced at the inebriated vagabond before me, then back at my soon to be purchased tradegoods. Seeing nothing unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status, I began to wonder what sort of paranormal ability that could be powering the amazing feat of mental prowess that this particular 'have-not' had displayed...
Curiosity getting the better of me, I stated incredulously: 'Well, you know what?
You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that? Are you psychic?'
The drunk replied, 'Heck no! Cause you're ugly .'
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
0
Replies
-
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I had selected the
following items:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition...as I was *indeed* single. I gazed upon the
six items on the belt, glanced at the inebriated vagabond before me, then back at my soon to be purchased tradegoods. Seeing nothing unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status, I began to wonder what sort of paranormal ability that could be powering the amazing feat of mental prowess that this particular 'have-not' had displayed...
Curiosity getting the better of me, I stated incredulously: 'Well, you know what?
You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that? Are you psychic?'
The drunk replied, 'Heck no! Cause you're ugly .'
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
:noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
-
well what did you expect, it was a guy:huh: , he was drunk :ohwell: and he didn't have taste:blushing:0
-
My response would have been..."and the theroy of beer googles must be invalid" Now is this ajoke or did it really happen???0
-
My response would have been..."and the theroy of beer googles must be invalid" Now is this ajoke or did it really happen???
Haha, just a joke my Dad sent me. :laugh:0 -
Its a good one though.0
-
:laugh: :laugh: I was gonna say, he couldn't have possibly been talking about your handsome self J!!
Funny joke though!0 -
You beat me to it, but there are some morons in this world:laugh: :laugh: I was gonna say, he couldn't have possibly been talking about your handsome self J!!
Funny joke though!0 -
:laugh: :laugh: Usually the lack of a ring is a good tip off...
0 -
hehehe good giggle!
0 -
Um...glad it was a joke....because USUALLY the more you drink...the better someone looks...OUCH!
(and he was already drunk....OUCH!...OUCH!) :noway:
But knew there had to be some catch....as I scrolled down...cuz yippers! He should have said " Excuse me Mr. Beckham....may I have your autograph?"
DAVID BECKHAM is SOOOOO HOT!....(Drooooool)
0 -
Um...glad it was a joke....because USUALLY the more you drink...the better someone looks...OUCH!
(and he was already drunk....OUCH!...OUCH!) :noway:
But knew there had to be some catch....as I scrolled down...cuz yippers! He should have said " Excuse me Mr. Beckham....may I have your autograph?"
DAVID BECKHAM is SOOOOO HOT!....(Drooooool)
You can have him if I can have Victoria....
(Not really, she's pretty but *far* to skinny :sick: )0 -
Feed her a BEEFY BURRITO....eeeeeesh! I know where this could lead......:noway:
Feed her a Juicy Burger with some bacon! For about a week....that ought to put a lil meat on her bones....by the way.....you think her "fun bags" are real?
Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:
I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:0 -
Feed her a BEEFY BURRITO....eeeeeesh! I know where this could lead......:noway:
Feed her a Juicy Burger with some bacon! For about a week....that ought to put a lil meat on her bones....by the way.....you think her "fun bags" are real?
Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:
I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:
Braces for Sarge's answer......peeking through fingers!0 -
Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:
I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:
I for one can't wait to lose mine :laugh: I know big surprise but lemme tell ya.... I am so looking forward to being back on the golf course... they really throw your swing off!!! :laugh:0 -
rotflmbo! you guys are into the :drinker: I see LOL....so funny!0
-
I for one can't wait to lose mine :laugh: I know big surprise but lemme tell ya.... I am so looking forward to being back on the golf course... they really throw your swing off!!! :laugh:
LOL! I know....and running the bases in softball have about givin' me black eyes...(looking for a good sports bra..btw)...
...wouldn't mind so much a "C" ..I think....but anything other than that would just look like fried eggs! :noway:
(intimate moment ...hubby staring....) "Hey BABE....would you like some bacon and toast with this?":sad:0 -
[/quote]
...wouldn't mind so much a "C" ..I think....but anything other than that would just look like fried eggs! :noway:
(intimate moment ...hubby staring....) "Hey BABE....would you like some bacon and toast with this?":sad:
[/quote]
awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:0 -
awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:
OMG GIRL!.....What are you double "BB" Basket Balls? "MM" Major Melons...:noway:
(I could go on but won't....)
All the BOYz in Middle school wanted to date YOU!:bigsmile: My "endowment didn't turn on until I was 15"....but then it was like an estrogen flood hit....!
I have NO room to complain!.....but I could live with YOUR 12 year old size...(sniff...sniff) I'll label it as ATHLETIC size...
Actually, I think I'm more worried about what hubby will think more than what I think....He "enjoys" my size right now....they're just there...saying "Hey! Have one!...just go ahead and grab..."0 -
awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:
OMG GIRL!.....What are you double "BB" Basket Balls? "MM" Major Melons...:noway:
(I could go on but won't....)
All the BOYz in Middle school wanted to date YOU!:bigsmile: My "endowment didn't turn on until I was 15"....but then it was like an estrogen flood hit....!
I have NO room to complain!.....but I could live with YOUR 12 year old size...(sniff...sniff) I'll label it as ATHLETIC size...
Actually, I think I'm more worried about what hubby will think more than what I think....He "enjoys" my size right now....they're just there...saying "Hey! Have one!...just go ahead and grab..."
LMAO @ hey have one!! OMG one of my worst memories was when I was 10 and my step mom decided to buy me bras for xmas... which was ok... but she could have at least wrapped them and not hidden them in the tree telling me on xmas morning that I needed to hunt for them in the tree... and I remember they weren't training bras....
~walks out singing~ my milkshake brings the boys to the yard :laugh:0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.5K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 391 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 925 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions