The Amazing Psychic Drunk!

sgtinvincible

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I had selected the
following items:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition...as I was *indeed* single. I gazed upon the
six items on the belt, glanced at the inebriated vagabond before me, then back at my soon to be purchased tradegoods. Seeing nothing unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status, I began to wonder what sort of paranormal ability that could be powering the amazing feat of mental prowess that this particular 'have-not' had displayed...

Curiosity getting the better of me, I stated incredulously: 'Well, you know what?
You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that? Are you psychic?'

The drunk replied, 'Heck no! Cause you're ugly .'


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

sgtinvincible

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I had selected the
following items:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of
the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition...as I was *indeed* single. I gazed upon the
six items on the belt, glanced at the inebriated vagabond before me, then back at my soon to be purchased tradegoods. Seeing nothing unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status, I began to wonder what sort of paranormal ability that could be powering the amazing feat of mental prowess that this particular 'have-not' had displayed...

Curiosity getting the better of me, I stated incredulously: 'Well, you know what?
You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that? Are you psychic?'

The drunk replied, 'Heck no! Cause you're ugly .'


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

chriss1tt

:noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

gabi_ele

well what did you expect, it was a guy:huh: , he was drunk :ohwell: and he didn't have taste:blushing:

FitJoani

My response would have been..."and the theroy of beer googles must be invalid" Now is this ajoke or did it really happen???

sgtinvincible

My response would have been..."and the theroy of beer googles must be invalid" Now is this ajoke or did it really happen???

Haha, just a joke my Dad sent me. :laugh:

FitJoani

Its a good one though.

TamTastic

:laugh: :laugh: I was gonna say, he couldn't have possibly been talking about your handsome self J!!

Funny joke though!

FitJoani

:laugh: :laugh: I was gonna say, he couldn't have possibly been talking about your handsome self J!!

Funny joke though!

You beat me to it, but there are some morons in this world

beautifulbay

:laugh: :laugh: Usually the lack of a ring is a good tip off...

laurenk182004

hehehe good giggle!

BigCityKittyz

Um...glad it was a joke....because USUALLY the more you drink...the better someone looks...OUCH!

(and he was already drunk....OUCH!...OUCH!) :noway:

But knew there had to be some catch....as I scrolled down...cuz yippers! He should have said " Excuse me Mr. Beckham....may I have your autograph?"


DAVID BECKHAM is SOOOOO HOT!....(Drooooool)

sgtinvincible

Um...glad it was a joke....because USUALLY the more you drink...the better someone looks...OUCH!

(and he was already drunk....OUCH!...OUCH!) :noway:

But knew there had to be some catch....as I scrolled down...cuz yippers! He should have said " Excuse me Mr. Beckham....may I have your autograph?"


DAVID BECKHAM is SOOOOO HOT!....(Drooooool)

You can have him if I can have Victoria....


(Not really, she's pretty but *far* to skinny :sick: )

BigCityKittyz

Feed her a BEEFY BURRITO....eeeeeesh! I know where this could lead......:noway:


Feed her a Juicy Burger with some bacon! For about a week....that ought to put a lil meat on her bones....by the way.....you think her "fun bags" are real?
Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:

I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:

TamTastic

Feed her a BEEFY BURRITO....eeeeeesh! I know where this could lead......:noway:


Feed her a Juicy Burger with some bacon! For about a week....that ought to put a lil meat on her bones....by the way.....you think her "fun bags" are real?
Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:

I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:

Braces for Sarge's answer......peeking through fingers!

GravyGurl

Skinny people like that usually are "plastic"....makes me wonder if I'd ever go there if I "LOSE" mine in this process of getting in shape.... a real fear for me...:sad:

I wonder who else has a fear of losing the tatas with weight loss....I should ask Fatsis or Shwartz....it was one of the 2 that said they modeled bras for a living...they'd be outta a JOB!!!:laugh:

I for one can't wait to lose mine :laugh: I know big surprise but lemme tell ya.... I am so looking forward to being back on the golf course... they really throw your swing off!!! :laugh:

ali106

rotflmbo! you guys are into the :drinker: I see LOL....so funny!

BigCityKittyz

I for one can't wait to lose mine :laugh: I know big surprise but lemme tell ya.... I am so looking forward to being back on the golf course... they really throw your swing off!!! :laugh:

LOL! I know....and running the bases in softball have about givin' me black eyes...(looking for a good sports bra..btw)...

...wouldn't mind so much a "C" ..I think....but anything other than that would just look like fried eggs! :noway:

(intimate moment ...hubby staring....) "Hey BABE....would you like some bacon and toast with this?":sad:

GravyGurl

[/quote]


...wouldn't mind so much a "C" ..I think....but anything other than that would just look like fried eggs! :noway:

(intimate moment ...hubby staring....) "Hey BABE....would you like some bacon and toast with this?":sad:
[/quote]

awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:

BigCityKittyz

awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:

OMG GIRL!.....What are you double "BB" Basket Balls? "MM" Major Melons...:noway:
(I could go on but won't....)

All the BOYz in Middle school wanted to date YOU!:bigsmile: My "endowment didn't turn on until I was 15"....but then it was like an estrogen flood hit....!

I have NO room to complain!.....but I could live with YOUR 12 year old size...(sniff...sniff) I'll label it as ATHLETIC size...

Actually, I think I'm more worried about what hubby will think more than what I think....He "enjoys" my size right now....they're just there...saying "Hey! Have one!...just go ahead and grab..."

GravyGurl

awwwwwww LOL I haven't seen the "C" days since I was 12... I have a feeling I'm going to end up just rolling them up and stuffing them into whatever cup size I decide to put em in :laugh:

OMG GIRL!.....What are you double "BB" Basket Balls? "MM" Major Melons...:noway:
(I could go on but won't....)

All the BOYz in Middle school wanted to date YOU!:bigsmile: My "endowment didn't turn on until I was 15"....but then it was like an estrogen flood hit....!

I have NO room to complain!.....but I could live with YOUR 12 year old size...(sniff...sniff) I'll label it as ATHLETIC size...

Actually, I think I'm more worried about what hubby will think more than what I think....He "enjoys" my size right now....they're just there...saying "Hey! Have one!...just go ahead and grab..."

LMAO @ hey have one!! OMG one of my worst memories was when I was 10 and my step mom decided to buy me bras for xmas... which was ok... but she could have at least wrapped them and not hidden them in the tree telling me on xmas morning that I needed to hunt for them in the tree... and I remember they weren't training bras....

~walks out singing~ my milkshake brings the boys to the yard :laugh:

AshliColon

LOL. You guys are funny. I can't wait to lose mine although that last time I was at my goal weight they were a full D. Once I get to my goal weight and keep it off for a year...i'm all about lift and reduce!

sculley

I thought you were being serious.......

I was like what a freaking *kitten* and i was wanting to beat his butt lol:laugh:

BigCityKittyz

....Damn right...they're better than yours.......Damn right....la...la...la...la...:laugh:

Hey...now I want a double fudge chocolate shake....DAMN pms....:noway:

*Ashli...a lift....sounds interesting....is that the procedure that they actually put the "nips" on a tray...whilst they lift....and then strategically put em back?:sick:

X-nay on the shake....thanks....:frown:

BigCityKittyz

I thought you were being serious.......

I was like what a freaking *kitten* and i was wanting to beat his butt lol:laugh:

Who? ...did you think was a Frickin' A?....may I inquire....

BigCityKittyz

Oh...think I got it....the DRUNK!....(shoooooom! over da cabesa)

GravyGurl

ok that vision of "nips" in a tray put any kind of cravings out of my head for the night :laugh:

BigCityKittyz

Exact - a- mundo SISTER! But what the heck...BRA's in the tree? were they at least green & red? LOL!:laugh:

I'd a put one of hers in the tree...too!

GravyGurl

Exact - a- mundo SISTER! But what the heck...BRA's in the tree? were they at least green & red? LOL!:laugh:

I'd a put one of hers in the tree...too!

:laugh: OMG I wish I would have dared to do that... and no unfortunately they were brighty whitey's!! She would have killed me since mine were bigger than hers LMAO!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

BigCityKittyz

OOOOOOOH! Thou be blessed my child....Thou be blessed! LOL!

GravyGurl

If ya saw my golf score ya wouldn't think that :laugh: