No Support

Options
2

Replies

  • steveyinasia
    steveyinasia Posts: 121 Member
    Options
    Plenty of support in here, we may not be family and yet to be friends....however we will all support you.
  • QuillensMom
    QuillensMom Posts: 100 Member
    Options
    We join site/s like this one :)
    Seriously, no one is here for support in person for me. In fact my husband is bringing home everything I like junk food wise that he doesn't even usually buy. Things he doesn't even eat, I have looked at this box of my fav donuts for over a week now. He can eat what he wants and never goes above 170, he doesn't get it. My family isn't local but my stepmother always tries to sabotage me when we are visiting. Pushing me to eat, oh you can have that this once.
    You have to do it for yourself, want it for yourself, because it's your body. You are the one who has to carry around the weight.

    Just use this site and get to know people. I just joined a few weeks ago. Well I had a few years ago apparently because when I tried to sign up it said already was here, but I only used a couple times for logging food I think, I never commented or read forums. While it isn't in person, it can be useful. There are sooo many people going thru the same struggles who understand you.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Options
    I get my support here. I rarely talk about my diet/fitness with anyone in real life unless they ask.
  • ddkphotos
    ddkphotos Posts: 304 Member
    Options
    don't discuss it with people around you... unless they bring it up in a positive way... otherwise - just keep making your healthy choices - and come here if you need some cheerleading...
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    You can't really expect your work toward getting healthy to matter to other people. It's nice when it does but for the most part it's just not that interesting to people. That's why we have MFP, to talk to other like-minded people so that our SOs and families don't have to listen to us drone on about calories and lifting and whathaveyou.

    You also really can't expect other people to give up foods they love because you're trying to avoid those foods. My advice is to either allow yourself some extra calories for "treat" foods, or make yourself some low calorie snacks to have around for when other people are munching on chips. The bottom line is that you're going to be surrounded by food. There are going to be parties and dinners out and tons of goodies in the break room at work. When it comes up just look at it as training for maintenance.
  • netter43
    netter43 Posts: 110 Member
    Options
    You should be proud of you - don't wait for someone else to validate that you are doing a good thing - I had lost at least 50 pounds in the past using MFP and exercising - it was not until I lost my mojo - quit smoking (which I did not get praise for) - but starting gaining the weight back that my long time boyfriend said "you were doing so good, I was so proud of you" - BUT - did he ever tell me that while I was busting my butt and/or watching them eat a lot of junk. He is diabetic and does nothing to watch his diet, etc.....

    This is for me because I just turned 48 in June - because I could not stand to see the pictures from my recent 30th class reunion - because I have been having so much swelling and pain in my lower legs/feet that I could not participate this year in the Susan G Komen walk/race with my family like we have done together for the last 2 years - and I am a breast cancer survivor - Because at my recent doctor's apt I weighed 301 pounds - the heaviest in my entire life -

    so.....you have to ask yourself - why are you willing to change your daily journey - what are YOUR small goals....what are YOUR big goals? - use pictures pasted everywhere if you need to - I use the success stories on this web site as my daily motivation - morning and night -especially when I feel like I can't do it "today" - I look at what I have succeeded at the meal before - what better choice did I make - I'm no expert and I do not pretend to have all the answers - I am a creature of wanting instant gratification but at this point each meal is a milestone for me - each choice, each day.

    You an do this for YOU - because YOU are worth it!!!! -

    Be good to YOU!!! :)
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
    Options
    Much like a person going thru a breakup ..

    pretty soon your friends are tired of hearing about it and you are left to fend for yourself. There will come a time where you will be left to your own devices and have nobody to rely on

    use the people here to be your sounding boards... we're here because we have a lot in common :)

    chin up..you got this
  • mizroxy13
    mizroxy13 Posts: 466 Member
    Options
    To quote Frank Ocean: "Work hard in silence. Let your success be your noise."

    Honestly, I live by this. I almost don't want people to notice my success so they'll be blown away when they do! Listen to your own self and be inspired by your progress.
  • coachfeliciad
    coachfeliciad Posts: 54 Member
    Options
    How do you ladies and gents get by who have no support? I am the only person in my family that is focusing on my well-being and it is really hard. I find people start ignoring me when I start talking about my progress. I am proud of pushing myself but, even my husband doesn't say anything. I watch everything that goes into my body and track my calories burned while everyone else will make late night "munchie runs" and sit there and eat a whole bag of chips or worse. How do you not lose motivation when everywhere you turn there is people not caring?

    Simply put they're jealous. Everyone knows how important it is to be healthy but unfortunately it's easier to not care and indulge than to get it together and take care of yourself. And there is so much emphasis put on junk food everywhere you turn that people don't want to turn it away. And people are afraid of change. Years of bad habits are hard to break and people see exercising as something they would have to force themselves to do and something they'd have to spend hours in a gym doing. What they don't realize is that it can be fun and you can get an intense workout in , in only a half hour like I do everyday. In the end, when you're the one who's fit and healthy and happy, they're going to be the ones coming to you begging for help. If you need support you've found a huge family here on MFP who will always be there for you!
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
    Options
    I'm doing this for myself to be healthier.
    While I try to cook healthier for my family I know there are limits. My husband is not going to eat yogurt, fruit ( he has food allergies), low-fat cookies and so forth. Our teenage son ( the picky eater) runs and walks everyday he doesn't need my low-fat stuff. In my daughter's case ( she's 3yrs old) I can only offer her healthy options, and make sure to be active with her.
    We can't force our spouse or children to exercise with us. My husband rarely joins in our evening walks, and he's only been to the pool at our gym once. He works hard and has his own hobbies.
    Do I do a little dance every time I lose a pound . Yes I do. I show them my starting definition of abs or guns too. If you are overweight (you look very fit in your profile picture) they may end up being more supportive once you start losing. If your always failing in your pursuit of losing weight ( always on another diet) they may just be waiting you out too.

    If you're having a hard time being around their snacking. Fix yourself a healthy snack or leave the room. Take a walk or what not.
    Good luck!

    Feel free to add me
  • MegE_N
    MegE_N Posts: 245 Member
    Options
    My fiance tries very hard to be supportive - he praises me for how much better I look already, etc. But I know it gets on his nerves when I talk about my weight loss goals CONSTANTLY. It's on my mind a lot every day, and he feels like it puts undo pressure on him (while he too has lost weight, he doesn't feel like he's done very well, but I disagree). For him it just feels like I'm pressuring him even though I don't mean to.

    Maybe that's how your family feels too. They don't want to change their lifestyles, and knowing you are trying to do just that may make them feel pressured or judged, so they don't want to address it.
  • wagglesworth
    wagglesworth Posts: 53 Member
    Options
    I am in the same situation with my husband. He complains to anyone with ears that my diet is killing him. He plays the role of the martyr. I'm not forcing my change in eating upon him. He still eats pizza, ice cream, cakes, etc. I keep the freezer stocked with his favorite meals. I don't know what his problem is and right at the moment I don't care because this is not about him. I'm doing this for me - to save my life. Having support from others who are making these life changes is important to me. I need the support and want to support others as well. Consider me a friend who will help get us where we need to be.
  • wagglesworth
    wagglesworth Posts: 53 Member
    Options
    That is a wonderful quote. I'm new to MFP and looking to make friends. I'd like to add you.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    Options
    I get more eye rolls from people I work with than anyone else. It drives me insane. When they offer me pizza or cake or candy or whatever and I say no I get called things like "anorexic". I don't know why people react that way!
  • pattialling
    pattialling Posts: 19
    Options
    My family is almost the same way. I was reading this thing that was talking about easy steps to help you lose weight and one of the tasks was to "throw out all the junk food in the house... your family will understand." And I was like... not mine! I think it would be totally rude to do that anyway, because we all share the food in my house. My grandparents are proud of me but they think I'm wasting my time or I could be using a different method and that it would work faster (like not eating lunch, NO THANK YOU!). BUT- this is what I do to help me when I'm in a situation where I feel like I'm not getting any encouragement at all:

    Join groups online that are about weight loss- I have a couple on my facebook page that have a bunch of people trying to lose weight and they talk about their progress and what kind of exercises they accomplished that day and such. I would search for something like that on facebook if you have one. It's really great because when I feel like I'm about to have a weak moment I turn to them and say stuff like "I feel like eating every cookie that ever existed on the planet! Help!" and I got a bunch of comments that gave me ideas for alternatives... someone even posted a healthy cookie recipe that still have chocolate chips in it!!!

    I'm right with you girl, you can add me as a friend if you ever need support! My goal is to lose 100 pounds (I weighed 180 and am 6 ft tall), I started my final weight loss journey 15 days ago! I'm going to college for Applied Exercise Science with my sister! (I'm currently a psych major but will be switching soon I believe- psychology and fitness kind of go together though.) Please keep up the good work! The key to fitness or any kind of success isn't in motivation... it's in consistency! If you do this everyday YOU WILL reach your goal, no matter how fast or how slow it takes. :)
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,152 Member
    Options
    About 15 years ago I was complaining to a friend that, "why should I even care? It's not like anyone else does!" And her reply was very quick and succinct: "Because NOBODY else really does care ....that is why YOU should." That is the first realization that things like this (as well as others) are really up to us (each individual alone). Sure, people support, criticize, comment, etc. But, in the end, you do it for you - period. When you take back your control, nobody can bring you down.
  • iggyboo93
    iggyboo93 Posts: 524 Member
    Options
    You have friends and supporters here. If you need a group to back you in real life, I would suggest joining a group like TOPS or even Weight Watchers. Weekly meetings and weigh ins are great but the interaction with other people trying to lose weight like you may offset the negative feedback you get from home.
  • amandaowen69
    amandaowen69 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    I just stopped expecting some else to motivate me and help keep me on track. I need to do this for myself and stop looking for other peoples approval. My husbands is suppose to be losing weight due to health issues and doesn't do what he is suppose to and then gets pissy with me when I try and help him. I think he sees me doing well and is a little jealous. I try and explain that the only person holding him back is himself. If you cheat be truthful about it and move on and try and do better the next day
  • keefmac
    keefmac Posts: 313 Member
    Options
    You don't need a pat on the back every 5 minutes, just get your head down and get it done!.

    If someone compliments you or asks about your weight loss all the better but don't bore people with your diet stories..
  • samm1ches
    samm1ches Posts: 8
    Options
    Right now I am staying pretty motivated because of the fact I got diagnosed with peripheral artery disease at 26. I know that alone will keep me going for a while. I do think this is why it bothers me that no one cares especially my husband since it is so vital to my health.

    Thank you all for the kind words, advice, and friend requests.

Categories