Please "Smack" some Sense into me?

Morningflower

I know this will sound silly to someone out there - and I am sorry for posting this - I just really need some support and reminders as to why I am doing.. 'THIS' - The daily food logs, meditation, exercise, I am 89 days sober today, I feel great.. but it took 20 Minutes for me to get back into my self doubting, self loathing old self-- Why? because I just bumped into the only man that ever made me want to get married and have kids and all that comes with it. He is now "a different man" - has a great fiancee' 6 figure job, a fancy new car, still looks as great as ever! -- and it was just hard.. really, really hard! - That is the life that I wanted for us - I stuck by him through some rough times, encouraged him to get back to school and earn his degree and he just stopped loving me.. plain and simple.

I am by no means a saint.. - I know that I played a role in our break up.. but you know.. it's just hard seeing him.. toting her around like a little Gucci Bag! She is hot! she is a nice, nice girl! -- Anyway.. I just want to binge so bad right now... I want to reach for some whiskey and drown my sorrows. Am I in love with him? no.. absolutely not - but it's kind of hard seeing him "that way" . For a split second.. I wanted him to be "toting me around" - dumb uh? -- I knew I was going to run into him eventually - but I had no idea that he had really turned his life around. None of our friends said anything to me because they thought it was the best thing for me - So there I was at an Engagement Party and i see this Brand New Car Pull up.. he gets out.. opens her car door.. takes her hand and everyone froze!

I had to get out of there without making it obvious.. so here I am...sounding like such a rambling fool.. and I know that... but I just needed to write this down and hopefully get some words of wisdom/support..:sad:

Morningflower

I know this will sound silly to someone out there - and I am sorry for posting this - I just really need some support and reminders as to why I am doing.. 'THIS' - The daily food logs, meditation, exercise, I am 89 days sober today, I feel great.. but it took 20 Minutes for me to get back into my self doubting, self loathing old self-- Why? because I just bumped into the only man that ever made me want to get married and have kids and all that comes with it. He is now "a different man" - has a great fiancee' 6 figure job, a fancy new car, still looks as great as ever! -- and it was just hard.. really, really hard! - That is the life that I wanted for us - I stuck by him through some rough times, encouraged him to get back to school and earn his degree and he just stopped loving me.. plain and simple.

I am by no means a saint.. - I know that I played a role in our break up.. but you know.. it's just hard seeing him.. toting her around like a little Gucci Bag! She is hot! she is a nice, nice girl! -- Anyway.. I just want to binge so bad right now... I want to reach for some whiskey and drown my sorrows. Am I in love with him? no.. absolutely not - but it's kind of hard seeing him "that way" . For a split second.. I wanted him to be "toting me around" - dumb uh? -- I knew I was going to run into him eventually - but I had no idea that he had really turned his life around. None of our friends said anything to me because they thought it was the best thing for me - So there I was at an Engagement Party and i see this Brand New Car Pull up.. he gets out.. opens her car door.. takes her hand and everyone froze!

I had to get out of there without making it obvious.. so here I am...sounding like such a rambling fool.. and I know that... but I just needed to write this down and hopefully get some words of wisdom/support..:sad:

desirea2006

Drinking is easy. Just think... If you stick with this and get to your goal weight, YOU'LL BE THE ONE TURNING HEADS!!!! Next time you have another "encounter" like this you can simply smile, wave, and then shake your newly shaped *kitten* as you walk away from him. Imagine how good that would feel. I certainly don't think drinking your sorrows away is going to make you feel any better. It will make you feel guilty for cheating your diet and then give you hangover in the morning that wasn't even fun earning. Thats no good. Keep your head up Girl... Like everything else... This will pass... Keep your personal goals in the front of your mind.

age1389

First off let me congratulate you for coming on here and venting instead of venting on a whole pizza and maybe worse.
these things are hard even if you love him or not. Just remember everything happens for a reason and your time will come when you can strut with your man but it will be better cause you will be better inside and the out.
Stay strong

pmkelly409

You are a young, beautiful, vibrant, southern belle!! Keep your chin up and keep your eye on the proverbial ball!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

There is someone wonderful out there waiting for you - one day you are going to think "why did I waste so much energy on that loser!!?"

Success is the best revenge!!

AJCM

What you are feeling is COMPLETELY reasonable and natural...

Step away from the booze, and the high cal food, and focus on the NEW YOU that will be turning heads. You will find another guy who will make you want to go "that road" again. To be sober for 89 days proves you can do anything, so keep your focus, and keep up the amazing work!

And btw, how do you know he wasn't looking at you and kicking himself for letting you get away... he probably was.
:flowerforyou:

auntkaren

Sweetie I am so sorry that you feel down right now. I don't know how long ago your break up was, but you have done well until you saw him put on a show. 89 days sober is a great accomplishment and not worth throwing it away now. It would be better for you to binge on some ice cream or something for just once and start over tomorrow. You are a wonderful beautiful lady with a lot of years to live yet. But you have to let go of your past so you can go on. You never know when Mr Right will show up in your life and treat you like a queen and love of his life for the rest of your life. And drinking won't bring anything but hardships in your life and the wrong type of people in your life. I will say a prayer for you tonight , but please don't go for that drink he is not worth ruining your life over. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself. I care about you as everyone else here does to. Remember we are all in this together and some of us can relate to what your going through. If you need to talk to someone just send me a message. :flowerforyou:

pmkelly409

p.s. If this feeling lasts any longer - GO TO A MEETING!!!! CALL YOUR SPONSOR!!!

Maribel

Hang in there. You can do it. ACJM is so on, how do you know that he doesn't know about you and kicking himself in the *kitten* for leaving someone that shared a life/history with him, who is doing great. Stay away from the booze and the binging. You can do this. You are going to be the one turning everyone's head and we are going to be right there cheering you on. You are doing such a great job. Go see a movie or treat yourself to a CD, call up a friend. Re-read these wonderful posts and know that people care for you and want you to succeed.