Need some advice...on dating.

klaff411
klaff411 Posts: 169 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey all. I've been fat most of my life. I went from 250lbs in April '13 to 158lbs (now).

I feel really silly asking this. But even though I look really different on the outside, I'm still similar on the inside. I'm still "fat girl" and I guess I feel weird around guys still. I mean, when I go to the gym, I feel confident. I usually just go about my business. But I get a lot of "looks" and there are one or two regulars I want to talk to. But I'm not sure if "looking" or glancing means "interest" ...

I don't know if I'm making sense. I guess I've been scarred by rejections and I'm a little unsure still.

Replies

  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    not an uncommon thing. i spent all my teenage years in the overweight/obese category and even after losing most of my weight i still find the notion that someone could see me as attractive strange. im hoping thatll change once i get that 6-pack im after :p

    i've heard alot of people here say that it takes alot of time for your mental image of yourself to catch up to your actual image. its a matter of confidence and experience, you just kinda have to bite the bullet and make a move, thats the only way to know for sure if someone has genuine interest or not. eventually you'll get better at seeing the signs and whatnot, and it will become easier
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    If you notice that you keep catching each other's eye contact they might be interested. Shoot them a friendly smile!
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
    Yes I agree smile and say hello. What do you have to lose! (no pun intended)..lol
  • fit_war
    fit_war Posts: 985 Member
    yup!!! say hello!! then jump on him and kiss him (joking lol)
  • valkaree
    valkaree Posts: 519
    To break the ice, try sharing the same piece of equipment. Ask if you can rotate with him. See if he makes conversation. I doubt he will say much in between sets but like I said it will break the ice.

    Or just get his kik and send him a nood. That seems to work for most of the people here...
  • jabbajuice
    jabbajuice Posts: 17
    I have found that confidence is honestly the key and as much as you hear people preach the same thing, it's so true it's not even funny! Now that I've lost 20 ibs, I get attention from guys I actually find attractive or that are my type and I'm not used to it AT ALL. Most of the time I assume they weren't looking at me in that sense and I'm imagining things! However, I have found that on days that I feel and look my best and I walk with confidence, therefore feeling confident, I get a lot more attention than when I look down on myself or feel like I look like crap. A friend of mine is overweight and she told me that while she knows she's not fit and she wants to lose weight, she exceeds so much confidence and she talks to any guy she would consider attractive! The guys that I've seen her date are extremely attractive! The only thing to really do is push yourself out of your comfort zone even if you feel like you'll mess things up. Believe me you'll do fine! You don't have to downright flirt with them, especially if you aren't used to it yet but just have some friendly conversation with them. Make a joke or a comment and see where it goes from there!

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